


Coming Home

by insanity_and_co



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Drinking, F/M, Fili x Original Character, Multiple original characters - Freeform, OC (Holly Morgan), POV Female Character, Self-Insert, Swearing, Transferred From Fanfiction.net, traveling between worlds
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-28
Updated: 2014-07-28
Packaged: 2018-01-26 22:07:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 72,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1704254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insanity_and_co/pseuds/insanity_and_co
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adventures sound all grand and dandy, I'm always up for a little quest but I didn't sign up for any of this. Now I'm a hobbit, I can't find home and I'm stuck with someone who isn't even my friend! And I most definitely didn't sign up to go out with dwarves to slay a dragon. A dragon! I'm entitled to a little meltdown, and I place the blame on the shoulders of my companion. (Transferred from Fanfiction.net)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rum In The Water Bottles To Start Us Off

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own any of the canon (character's, events, places)...all of that belongs to the wonderful creator of Middle Earth and it's inhabitants.  
> This story was originally posted by me on fanfiction.net under this same username; that's the reason these first chapters will fly up so fast.

Looking back to the very beginning, I'm not too sure where to begin telling my story. I could go on all about the wonderful life of Holly Morgan and the events leading up to...well...I've been calling it "when we got lost". You can hear all about me and the events that lead up to this, or I can just give you the shorter version. I'm not uncommonly interesting, so perhaps we can skip me for a moment and move on to the _interesting_ stuff, i.e. everything that happened since my friend, Cody, and I came to Middle Earth.

I guess that's a little too far ahead at the moment, though. All you need to know is that I wanted to go over to an old friend's house for an innocent hang out session.

And that's all that happened. I went over to Cody's house, we hung out, watched TV, and talked about how stupid and silly we were as kids. He missed those times and while I would agree and mumble a response into my soda, I didn't really miss those times. We talked about how much I hated my job and how his boyfriend was getting a little pudgy. I couldn't stay long, though, I had work the next morning-

God, this version is boring. And I feel a little bad writing a lie.

Okay, so...the _real_ story began when I went to an old friend's house ( _that part was true!_ ) but there was massive amounts of booze involved, and I had decided to say 'fuck you, work, I'll come in hung over as all hell if I please'. Yeah, so that's how it started.

To be honest, I'm not really sure how it ended. To this day I don't know what happened after the third or fourth drink, made entirely too strong by Cody's uncoordinated pouring. Things got hazy, we looked at old pictures, we started crying, and we laughed some more because he was making this ugly-ass crying face. At some point we decided to go for a walk and put rum in water bottles in all of our drunken sneakiness...because yeah, you can totally hide rum in a clear bottle. I guess that's something that only makes sense when you're wasted.

From then on, after we left for the walk, I have no idea what happened. Blank. Nada. Nothing there. No bits and pieces for me to put a puzzle together so I could finally spell out what had happened. Things became a blur and suddenly there was zilch. Pretty anticlimactic...actually.

All I knew for sure was that I wasn't inside the moment the bile hit the back of my throat and I sat up faster than ever before. Blades of cold grass stuck to my hands, my fingers digging into the dirt beside my legs as I knelt over, my stomach turning over the glorious meal I had eaten the day before (a piece of fruit, which, now that I think about it could be why I got so wasted in the first place). The grass was cold and brushing the bits of dirt off my hands was a wonderful distraction from the vomit in front of me because look at that grass! Just sticking all by itself. Fascinated, I wondered if we both passed out on his lawn. That would be a first...I had yet to be a public drunken spectacle. (This wouldn't be a first for him, by the way.)

I know this all makes me sound like a horrible drunken idiot, in such a stupor that I didn't even know we weren't on _E_ _arth_ anymore. I assure you, I am normally one of utmost intelligence. It just so happens that my childhood friend, Cody, tends to turn me into a bumbling idiot who says too much and, more often than not, drinks too much. I really don't know how we started, but it was our glorious relationship to this day. Get bored one afternoon, texting him with something eloquent like, 'Dude! Let's totally get wasted!' and then _voila_. We wake up with a hangover, I'm pissed at him and he's tired of me by the time I'm putting my shoes on and gathering my things to leave in the wee hours of the morning. I think we just realize why we aren't friends past the drinking-buddies-stages anymore. We go our separate ways, and the cycle continues again when his boyfriend is mean to him, one of us sees an old picture or, I dunno...we just _feel_ like coming together and talking about old friends.

_Anyway_ , it usually ends in me waking up on his couch and going to work the next day.

This time was a little different.

This time, after I looked up and shuddered at the disgusting feeling (I _hate_ throwing up), I looked around for him. He wasn't far away, sprawled out on the grass like he had just been walking along and _bam_ , on the ground he went. His face was turned to me and I could see he was asleep. His mouth hung open and _ewww_ , I could see that dreaded tongue piercing. I hated the way he sticks his tongue out extra far at me just so I'll see it. Yeah, he's a jerk like that. Now do you see why we don't talk to each other for months at a time? Shit like that is being pulled constantly.

I sat back on my legs for a moment, just blinking and breathing and - _oh god_ \- trying not to throw up again.

"Wake up," I groaned, crawling over to him and punching his shoulder, my head pounding and the ground was definitely jerking around under my knees. He didn't move but then again, I didn't expect him to. He slept like a _stone_ , and add immense amounts of alcohol? He wouldn't be up for hours. The ground stopped moving and I finally felt like I could balance on my knees without toppling into the sky, so I slowly let go of my death-grip on the grass and brushed them on my jeans. "Come on, time to wakey-wakey."

This time I poked his face; his cheek, his chin, finally his eye just to try and get a reaction out of him to make sure he was alive.

Nothing.

Okay, so I had to admit that was a little weird. Normally people - even people sleeping off a massive hangover - would at least flinch when you jab them in the eye. Cody did nothing and his mouth still hung open and that disgusting piece of jewelery was visible and I was sure I'd be sick all over again.

Something cold ran through me and it only seemed to push the bile back up to my chest. It took _forever_ for it to go back down and when I was confident I could lean over without throwing up on him, I turned back to his limp body.

I shook his shoulder, _hard_ this time.

"Wake up you fat, lazy bastard. Now!" Still nothing. "Get up, we're gonna be murdered!" Nada. "Damn it!"

I punched his arm again for good measure, not entirely to wake him up, and sat back on the ground beside him. The ground hadn't only been cold, it was wet too and the dew soaked into my jeans and great...now my butt and the back of my legs were wet on top of everything else. My work pants were over the arm on Cody's couch, so I could just go home and change really quick. I looked around and noticed trees and bushes but there was no apartment complex. Okay, that was a little odd. It wasn't too unusual for us to wander off sometimes, though, and it was _hard_ to keep the panicky voice in my head screaming "lost" at bay. Maybe we had gone over to another friend's house; I did remember texting Rebecca at some point in the night. But these trees and bushes that surrounded the grassy area we had claimed for the night didn't look familiar at all. I knew the trees at home, large evergreens and pines with ferns surrounding the roots and sometimes some holly and thickets. Moss should have covered everything in sight and be attached to the bark, growing high up to the top of the trees. Our home was known for these large forests and I could spot them a mile away, but nothing here looked like home. These were massive trees that towered far too high into the sky, with large knotted roots that seemed to jump out of the ground, just begging you to trip over them.

"Okay, lazy, up." I don't know what did it - his lack of response or that cold feeling in my stomach of not knowing where I was - just, something _snapped_. My nose began to run and my eyes watered and I punched Cody's side, pushing and pulling at his shoulders. His arm flapped around uselessly before I finally let him go and sat back again, and that was when I noticed something particularly weird.

He was _huge_. Cody had always been just an inch taller than me, but we were around the same size (perhaps he was a bit slimmer). I firmly told myself it was just because he was lying down and I was sitting up. But it didn't help that extra little jolt of panic that ran through me and - _oh god_ \- now I was crying, all thoughts of height gone and now that panicked voice screaming 'you're lost' loud and clear.

"Get up, fat-ass, I want to go home. I'm not carrying your bitch-butt back, you'll crush me." I laughed a little at my own insult, but he didn't so much as twitch and I didn't feel any better. His mouth hung open and his breaths came out in short, small bursts. He was out cold.

So by now I wasn't feeling so great, myself. My head was throbbing, my throat was burning from _revisiting_ my yesterday-food and my stomach was hurting. I knew it was just the anxiety knotting in my stomach that made me want to curl up, but it just made things ten times worse.

"Ugh!" I groaned and threw myself back on the ground, my head hitting the grass a little harder than I had meant to and my hand flew to my mouth because I would _physically_ stop myself from throwing up if I had to. Okay, so not such a good idea. I laid on the ground for a little bit, aware of the fact that I was a blubbering _mess_ , crying, snot-nosed, hiccuping and just in my own little world of self-pity that felt so right and justified in that moment. Somewhere in my mind, I knew it wasn't but I couldn't bring myself to care.

"Oh god, just wake up!" I threw my foot out at him and that's when I noticed something...my shoes were gone but my feet weren't cold because the foot I was looking at, currently snug against Cody's own leg, was a hairy-ass foot that was sure as hell not mine. There was _hair_ , and the foot was _huge_. I let out a scream and tried to back away, realizing too late that the hairy, gross, _large_ foot was following me.

"Hello?" A deep voice called back and in a moment of insanity, I wondered if that voice had come out of my throat. Was I a _man_? Was this some horrible prank? I looked around frantically, absolutely sure that Ashton was about to jump out of the bushes and dub me 'pranked'. I shook my head, feeling even worse than before and scrambled to kneel beside Cody's head when nobody jumped out of the shadows.

"Wake up, someone's here. We can get home, I'm going to be late for work." Honestly, work was the last thing on my mind but the voice called out again and I really couldn't let this help just wander off. The last thing we needed was to get even _more_ lost wandering around whenever Cody decided to join us. "Ugh, fine."

I slowly stood, learning my lesson from throwing myself on the ground earlier and walked - _okay, staggered_ \- over in the direction I had heard the voice. I thought about what I would say when the person saw a complete wild-woman in the forest and a fresh wave of tears came down when I went over everything in my head. I hurt. A lot. Everything was hurting and my nose wouldn't stop running and my feet were hairy and Cody wouldn't wake up and I didn't know where we were and I just wanted a shower or at least my bed.

I saw just a glimpse of something over a hedge of bushes and my blood ran cold. I fell to the ground in my attempt to get away and now I began shaking, feeling absolutely frozen in place with my back against an unusually tall root. From my chest to the tips of my fingers and my bare-toes, I felt icy cold and all of a sudden I was _panicking._

An axe. I had seen an _axe_.

People walking around a forest for fun do not carry an _axe_.

People looking for a lost dog in the woods do not carry an _axe_.

The only thing running through my mind at the moment was ' _axe-murderer_ ' and suddenly there was a huge weight crushing my chest because that quip I had used to try and get Cody to wake up was _true_. Oh god, we were going to be murdered by a man wielding an axe.

"Who's out there?" The voice was deep and rough, and there were more voices that followed. I didn't even try to make out what they said, I just wanted to get away from the group of axe-murderers because now there was more of them.

They were coming closer and I stumbled back, my legs hitting the root and I flipped over it, swearing and struggling to right myself again and digging into the pocket of my jeans for what I knew was there. It was the only thing I could use to protect us, I thought with a rushed justification in my head as I drew out my pocket-knife. My nose was running, my eyes were still watery and I knew I was on the verge of crying again by the lump in my throat because this was not how I wanted to die. I'm sure I looked like a mess...hung over and hair wild and bare feet. All of that little stuff disappeared when those noises grew louder; they were coming _towards_ me. I fumbled with the knife and flipped the cold and dirty blade out, holding it in my hand uneasily as the axe-murderers came closer. The heavy footfalls were just feet away and several twigs cracked under something heavy and this bush I was hiding behind was suddenly far too short and thin. I held my breath and could see the knife shaking in my hand, but I was holding it as steadily as I could.

God, could I even _use_ this if I had to? It had always been for sharpening pencils and holding in my hand to feel safe when I'm walking alone at night. I never kept it with the intention of using it _against_ somebody. The thought had my free hand flying up to my mouth again to suppress the bile.

A voice quietly muttered, "Over there," and I don't think I even had a full second to react to exactly how _close_ that voice was. The bushes before me shifted and a long, silver sword that was - _Jesus Christ!_ \- well over the length of my arm flashed in the light on it's way to my throat. It was absolutely massive, and once I got over the shock of having it pointed directly at me - the cold edge hovering so close to my skin I could feel it - I noticed that yes, there was a hand holding that sword.

The knife immediately fell from my hand in my jerking flinch as if I had been burned and I let out the weirdest squeal I had ever heard before. Like, seriously. Moose getting eaten by a squirrel, _weird_.

It wasn't until the man actually spoke that I looked away from the sword to see who it was walking through the woods. I did start crying a little bit because they could easily be the last people I ever saw. My _murderers_ would be the last faces I looked at.

"What is a she-hobbit doing so far from the Shire?"

Okay...so I didn't exactly know how to respond to that. Hobbits, she-hobbits, the Shire...he might as well have just grunted in that deep voice and I would have gathered the same amount of information. I suppose I didn't look all that intelligent, just crying, staring at this massive man with a braided beard and sword and - _was that armor?_ I probably still should have come up with something better...more sophisticated to blurt out.

"Hobb- Wha?"

"I asked you, what a hobbit is doing so far from the Shire?" He was growing impatient. Now that I had calmed down and was able to breathe normally, I looked to the others behind Killer #1. Behind the large man stood three more, all with even _more_ hair and braids than this one. I caught another glimpse of the axe in the hands of an absolutely _massive_ man and gulped.

Okay, so maybe we were near a reenactment of some ancient war, or perhaps Pirates of the Caribbean. My mind frantically went over options because now was not the time to die and there _had_ to be a reason for that sword and the weird clothes. Johnny had a braided beard in those movies, right? Well, they didn't exactly look like they were dressed as pirates. The sword fit the bill pretty well, though, I thought with a gulp.

"What the fuck's a 'Shire'? Who are you?" I was a little disappointed when they didn't just say something like, " _Oh, my name's Brad and we're reenacting a film._ " Because everything that was coming out of his mouth right now made zero sense to me.

"My name is Fili," - _where does someone go around getting a name like that?_ \- "son of Dis, nephew of Thorin Oakenshield." There was a pause where we just stared at each other. Perhaps he was waiting for a reaction? Was any of that supposed to mean something? Was I supposed to respond? Or was this simply the part where I begged for my life to be spared now that I knew the name of my murderer. I was probably a little too close to succumbing to that last option.

"Who?"

His sword lowered a fraction of an inch before someone stepped up beside him, a darker haired man with no braids - _sanity was stronger in Killer #2!_ \- but a whole lot of stubble. I suppose his wild-ass hair sort of made him look just as crazy as the others, though, and the idea that one of these men were sane in any way was gone. The man before me, Fili, looked confused, sword still positioned a little too close to my throat for comfort. The darker one, on the other hand, looked down at me with suspicion and uneasiness.

"Don't answer. We still don't know what she is doing sneaking around the bushes." That last bit, he aimed at me and stepped closer with a bow in his hand. So war reenactment was looking like more of a possibility, I couldn't quite remember seeing bows and arrows in the lasted Depp movie.

"I wasn't _sneaking_ ," I defended, and right at that moment, Cody - _you idiot!_ \- decided to let out a cry. A _loud,_ pained cry. I immediately jumped and the men in front of me turned in his direction. Killers number #3 and #4 spoke but couldn't hear; I was frantically thinking of a way out of this and now I remembered that I had to get _us_ out of this...not just myself. Thankfully, this distraction meant the sword left my neck and my little knife that was looking more and more useless against a fucking _sword_ by the seconds, was at my feet and begging me to pick it up. I tried not to puke as I knelt down, and it still felt awkward in my grasp and I was crying all over again.

"Who was that?" Killer #2, the dark haired man turned to me, eyebrow raised and already stepping in that direction. His dark eyes flickered to my knife but he didn't seem alarmed, which pissed me off a little more than it should have.

I panicked right then, and while I had been questioning the sanity of these men _my own_ seemed to slip right out from under me. All of them were turning to check out who had made that noise and I immediately jumped in front of their path, the sudden motion making my stomach turn and I was so glad I didn't puke right then and there on their feet. I don't know what possessed me to do it, but I raised the little weapon I had in front of me, making sure to point it directly at Fili. See how _he_ likes having something sharp pointed at him.

"Leave him alone." God, it was _pathetic_ how easily Killer #2 pushed me aside, his large size easily towering over mine. I stumbled and scrambled for something to hold on to - a tree - and the men moved past me to the small clearing where Cody was.

Oh god, men with _swords and axes_ were going to be coming at him. I still had no idea where we were but waking up to that would be a little too much of a shock for him. He might actually die before they get a chance to kill him. They drew closer to the clearing, me racing after them and damn it- Why were they so fucking tall and fast? I managed to slide in front of them again, feeling more like a _mad woman_ as I raised my weapon in front of me.

It was no use now, though. They had already seen the lump of spiky hair and too-tight clothes that was Cody, laying in the grass.

"Stay _away_ from him." This time, when Killer #3 tried to push past me, a short white-haired one a little closer to my own height, I took a swing at him. They didn't like that very much. Fili, large sword still in hand, immediately grabbed my wrist _way too tight_ and twisted my arm. The knife went falling from my hand embarrassingly fast and I was left to yelp and turn, trying hard to keep my arm from being twisted too far because _god dammit_ that hurt. "Let me go!"

He didn't, but that didn't stop me from frantically pulling and kicking to get away. His huge hand completely engulfed my wrist and all the thrashing and jerking I was doing didn't seem to phase him one bit. He loosened his grip just when my hand was starting to go numb. Any worry I had for my aching wrist was gone when I heard the men around Cody chatting lightly. One even laughed and I wondered if we would get mugged. Or kidnapped. _Murdered_ still rang in my head and I kicked a little harder at Fili's legs.

The other men stepped forward to inspect Cody closer. I tugged uselessly at my arm, trying to wrench it from his grasp. I even tried that little thing my mom taught me, pushing my hand forward and twisting sharply to throw his hand off - it didn't work. I threw myself down at the ground, reaching out of the knife that was mere inches away from my feet but was raised back up by my arm.

I turned back to Killer #1, glaring angrily and still struggling to get away. At that point, my feet were barely touching the ground and _how the hell was he lifting me up?_ I was closer to six foot than not and Cody would even have a hard time giving me a piggy-back ride. Yes, I had a little bit of "insulation" and it felt so weird being lifted off the ground by _one_ arm.

"Do you reckon he's alright?" At this, I turned back to the men who had now circled around Cody's unconscious form, each holding a various weapon that made my stomach turn. There was an axe, a bow, a shorter sword and oh my god, was that a mace? Why did they need a mace?

"I think the lass's just trying to protect her friend, Fili. Let her go." One of them laughed, and the hand finally let me go.

"'The lass'?" I echoed, immediately holding my aching wrist to my chest and reaching down for my knife, scrambling to get away when Fili moved. "Where are you from, Ireland? Stop!" I yelled out when Killer #3 knelt down beside Cody. He looked up and despite my irritation and fear and anger, I did see his small smile as he looked my friend's unconscious body over.

"What's your name?" I was racing over to the group of huge men when the dark haired man turned away from where the others had gathered and was now facing me, stopping me in my tracks. I immediately tightened my grip on my trusty little knife.

"I'm not telling you _a thing_ until you tell me where we are." I'm normally not so short with people, I swear! It was just the whole 'lost' thing and 'swords' thing and 'I'm going to be fucking murdered' thing that had me in full-on bitchy mode.

"You do not know?" I could feel my face burn red at the humor in Killer #2's voice and I could almost feel myself swelling up with all the frustration and damn _anger_ flowing through me as he dodged my question. I was the one dodging questions, here. "Bree, just east of the Shire."

_Again_ with the Shire.

"Yeah, that's great, but that doesn't really help us." I gripped my pocket-knife in my other hand, twisting my wrist around and trying to work out the ache that had settled in since Fili had twisted it. It was no use. "We should be near Seattle." He gave me a blank stare, which made no sense at all. Even people on the other side of this _world_ knew where Seattle was. "Everett?" Still nothing. "Marysville? Maybe we went and saw Rebecca or something, but we should be within a bus-ride of Seattle."

"I have no idea what she's talking about," the man said, turning to the others with a shake of his head.

The only things that crossed my mind were 'They really stick to their characters' and 'Oh god, we're really lost' before I sort of, well...passed out. Yeah, not the best way to enter Middle Earth and not the best first impression either. It was just not a good day in general, if you caught onto that yet: lots of puking, lots of me _attempting_ to fight and lots of me embarrassing myself beyond my normal spectrum of embarrassing myself.

I would like to say that the following days got better, but they didn't.


	2. You're A Hobbit, Holly

The second time I woke up, I thought I was really waking up back home. It was such a wonderful relief so I just laid still to enjoy it before I had to get up for work. I shifted to reach out and feel around me; the grass under my fingers was cold to my fingers and I dug them in. I sighed, feeling a little better than I had in my dreams. Much better, actually.

Maybe the extra sleep really did me good. My head still ached, but I couldn't hear the blood pounding through my ears anymore and the warmth around me made me feel like just snuggling into the grass and going back to sleep. Perhaps I could come up with a convincing excuse for not showing up today. I thanked God that I had apparently puked all I needed to in my dream, because my stomach was now hurting only a little bit. That was to be expected, though, and I let out a long sigh, feeling surprisingly comfortable just lounging in Cody's yard. A cold breeze blew past me and I shivered a bit, but as soon as it came it was gone and the warmth seeped back into my skin.

It was the voices around me that alerted me to the fact that I was not alone in Cody's yard. They were deep, but quiet and once more, I was jolted awake so fast my head began to spin. Large men. Strange area. Shire. _Axes_. It all came crashing back and I felt sick again.

I opened my eyes but the flickering lights around me sent my head back into a painful frenzy and I squeezed them shut again. I gripped the grass on either side of my legs and had to hold my head for a moment until the world stopped spinning around me. Okay, so I only felt great when I wasn't moving at all. Noted.

"Ah, there are you, Holly-kins. Welcome to the world of the waking." Cody's cheerful voice brought my focus away from my spinning head and to the fact that it was quite a bit darker than I was expecting. Light flickered against my jeans, jumping up and down and making me feel a little motion-sickness just by watching it.

"Hey Codes," I grumbled, massaging my head and twisting in the direction of his voice. It was then that the voices, deep and rumbling, started again.

"She's still not feeling well." _Very interesting observation. We have an Einstein in the group._

"Must still be tired."

"Oin should have something that should help your head, Miss."

I really didn't know how to respond to that, though it was clearly aimed toward me. The only men to call me 'miss' were the ancient customers at work who thought it was absolutely delightful to be all flirty with young cashiers. And what was an 'Oin''?

I could finally keep my eyes open enough to see that Cody was sitting amongst the men around a fire. He sat with a shit-eating grin on his face and his legs stretched out before him and bread in his hand. I was caught between really really wanting a piece of that bread and throwing up at the sight of food.

"What are you grinning at?" I felt around the pocket of my jeans - my knife was gone and suddenly I felt more vulnerable than before, sitting just feet away from huge men with their weapons laying at their feet.

"You're a Hobbit." Cody laughed, pointing a finger at me and delicately tearing a piece of bread. Apparently, whatever the hell I was supposed to be was just hilarious. _Fantastic_.

"A She-Hobbit," the older, white haired man corrected, tipping a wooden pipe in my direction. A ring of smoke flew from his mouth and joined in with the smoke from the fire, dispersing into the dark air above.

"Right, a She-Hobbit. Thank you, Balin," Cody grinned. I was taken aback, and understandably so! He was grinning, and I had been scared shitless when I first met them. What the hell did they say to him to make him think they were our _friends_? They carried weapons, for god sakes, and nothing like the tiny knife that was now not in my pocket.

"So what the hell is that, if you're so damn smart all of a sudden?" I aimed that at my friend, missing the odd looks that I got from the other men.

"Not sure." Cody shrugged, turning back to bite into his food.

"Fine, so what are you?" I shot back, sitting up a little straighter to try and match the height of the men around the fire. It felt so foreign to be shorter than so many people, and I didn't like it one bit.

"What do you mean?" His smile fell so fast that I cracked a grin, myself. There was something off about him, though. I had been right in thinking he was huge before. He sat just as tall as the men around him, his shoulders broader and (I would have to remember to laugh at him a bit for this) his nose was a little bigger.

"Perhaps these questions are meant for Gandalf," Balin cut in right as I opened my mouth. "You two will meet him soon enough," he answered the questioning looks from the two younger men.

It was then that I noticed Fili and the darker haired man beside him, sitting close to the fire with their bow and sword laying beside them. My knife lay in the pile, looking pathetically tiny beside the large sword. I still wanted it back, though, and it was the darker man who noticed where I was staring.  
He grinned around a mouth full of food - _eww, queue the urge to puke, once more_ \- and picked up my knife with a thumb and forefinger, dangling it in the air so the blade caught the light of the fire.

"You can have this," he gave the knife a small wiggle, "when you stop stabbing at us."

"You _stabbed_ them?" Cody burst out, a bit of miscellaneous food flying from his mouth and I shuddered. No food for me, I doubted I could hold anything down with the way they were all chowing down.

"You don't have to sound so surprised, they started it! He had his _sword_ at my throat," I said, pointing at accusing finger at Fili who just smiled back, maybe a little apologetically.

"She didn't actually harm any of us. Kili, you can give her back the knife." The darker man - _Kili_ \- shared a look with Fili that Cody seemed to find absolutely hilarious. I really wanted to just jump across the fire and wipe that irritating grin off his face, but something hit my shoulder and I had to scramble to catch it before it hit the ground. Kili had flicked my knife close and tossed it to me.

 _Oh Kili, you fool._ I held the knife tightly in my hand. Like hell I would put it away when their own weapons were so close to them. I eyed that axe, laying at the feet of a balding man who still managed to have quite a viking-style beard.

"I apologize for scaring you earlier." Fili smiled, taking a long wooden pipe from Kili's offering hand and let out a large puff of smoke. "That was not my intention."

"You didn't _scare_ me." I shot back, defensively. _Okay, so he had._

"Oh come on, scaredy-cat. They won't bite." Cody patted the ground beside him, scooting a little to the side to make room for me by the fire.  
I really didn't want to go and sit by them. I wanted to run away from them, and here Cody was, inviting me over to have a bite to eat around a campfire with giant men carrying weapons through the woods. That-that just doesn't happen!

"I'm fine over here, thank you."

"Geeze, what's got you all worked up?"

"'What's got me all _worked up_?' Did it ever occur to you that we are _not home_? We are near _Bree_ \- wherever the hell that is - and apparently no one where knows where Seattle is. _Seattle_! Who the fuck doesn't know where Seattle is?" It felt like all that anger and anxiety that I had been holding back just burst forward without my permission. I threw my arms out to the men around the fire, who just watched my little meltdown with mildly interested looks. One even let the pipe fall from his mouth, jaw dropping. Cody sat with his bread in his hand and paused with it halfway to his mouth. "By the way, you weren't waking up! I thought you were dying so I went to find help and found _giants_ who could as well be murderers! They have an axe! Why the fucking hell does someone need an axe? Do you know why I'm all _worked up_ now?" Okay, so I felt a bit better after that little outburst, but me pointing an accusing finger at the axe had it's owner sending me a glare. Note to self: avoid that one.

"We're not giants, lass." The largest of them all - the one with the axe - laughed, that glare dropping from his face rather fast. Oh, goody. _Bipolar giants!_ "Dwarves." _Dwarves!_

At this, they all seemed to grin, shoulders setting with pride. I threw my hands up again.

"Oh, of course. _Dwarves_. Silly me." I turned to face Cody a little more directly. "We're in _fucking Snow White_ and the-" I paused to count them. "-four d _warves_."

"God, stop being such a bitch."

_"What?"_

"Calm down, they're going to help us." Cody waved off my shocked expression. _He was_ believing _them!_ "Just shut up and come sit by the fire." Again, he patted the space between himself and Kili.

I sighed and weighed my options. I _was_ absolutely freezing. My jacket was thin and most definitely not meant for late nights in the forest. I was in no way _scared_ of the dark, but these forests already gave me the creeps. They were absolutely silent, the only sound being the dwarves and the cackling of the fire, and the shadows jumped for my legs as the light flickered. I wasn't Cody's biggest fan at the moment - the others seemed fascinated in him - but he was kind-of-sort-of my friend...well, used to be. At this point, however, he was more my friend that the weapon-wielding dwarves, so I stood and brushed off my jeans with a huff, holding my little knife tightly in my hand and coming to sit beside the fire and watching the dwarves carefully.

"And they're _not_ axe-murderers," Cody added in a whisper. My face grew red when the large one across the fire - the one with the axe - tilted his head to listen to our comments.

"Shut up," I grumbled, looking away and watching the forest line again. God, this area was _creepy_.

A piece of bread was broken off of a large chunk in Balin's hands, and he passed it around the fire to me. I accepted it and thanked him, feeling extremely awkward as I flicked open my knife and cut off a small piece. I was not hungry, quite the opposite, actually, but it was a kind gesture. You don't offer bread to someone you intend to kill. I nibbled on it and looked away when Cody took a particularly _gross_ bite from his bread.

"Feeling better? It's warm," he grinned, extending his hands to the fire and rotating them. I did feel warmer, but I don't know about _better_. My stomach still flipped every once in a while and I felt on edge, anxious, ready to dart back into the shadows the second one of them made a grab for their weapons.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He didn't buy it, I could tell from the half-laugh-half-sneeze thing he did and tipped his head down to give me a 'you're a horrible liar, Holly' look. He actually had to tilt his head quite far to look at me from under his eyebrows.

"So, what is a She-Hobbit doing in these parts, anyway?" Balin asked.

"What's a Hobbit?" Okay, so this got me some weird stares and I looked down at my bread, my face burning red. I _hated_ people staring at me.

"A tiny person, I think they're kind of like midgets. Something about men crossed with fairies, I think. You're tiny," Cody giggled. _Well isn't_ that _just comforting_. "Fili was telling me about them. Most of you-folk live over in the Shire, a town a bit...er, _that_ way." I looked around and finally pointed behind us.

Kili snorted. "That way," he corrected, pointing to our lefts.

"Right, that way. Anyway, I have no idea what's going on here, so don't ask me."

"So who _can_ I ask?"

"Gandalf'll be the one to talk to, Miss. We'll be meeting him at Mr. Baggin's Hobbit Hole, maybe another day's traveling." I didn't even want to ask what a Hobbit Hole was, but Balin seemed confident in this Gandalf person.

"How do you not know what a Hobbit is? Even people from far south who've never seen one before know of them," Kili asked, bewildered. Again I felt my face burn red. I didn't want to look up from my bread to see them all staring at me, so I inspected the food I was given. It tasted odd, but not bad. Just earthy and a little stale.

"Let's not badger them with questions," the largest one spoke, and I felt a sudden rush of gratitude to the could-be-axe-murderer. Yeah, that's right, Cody's words _be damned_ he could still murder us in our sleep. "Let them speak with him before they confide in us."

"So, who's Gandalf?" Cody asked, folding his legs up beneath him.

"Gandalf the Gray, a wise wizard," Balin explained. "I've only met him a handful of times, but he's always had an insightful view of the world, and his knowledge of oddities far extends past ours."

Cody hummed and brushed the crumbs from his lap. "I don't want to alarm you, Holly," Cody said, face suddenly very serious as he turned to face me with wide eyes. Of course, I felt a sudden jolt of alarm at his comment. "But in this place, we're considered...odd."

I was so too worked up to just let that go. I reached out and punched Cody's shoulder as hard as I could, letting out a long breath that I had been holding in.

"Jesus Christ!" He yelped and held his shoulder. I couldn't help but grin at his shocked expression. "Your tiny hands are like needles." Okay, he was so going down. I aimed another punch but he scrambled out of the way and sat across the fire between Balin and the bald one. Leaving me between Fili and Kili.

"Remember that next time," I grinned, pointing a finger in his direction. I pulled my knees up and wrapped my arms across them, having finished my bread and was now listening to the two dwarves beside me badger Cody with more questions.

"Are hairless dwarves normal where you're from?"

"Is that natural?"

"How often do you have to shave?"

"Do you grow stubble?"

"Why are your clothes so tight?"

"Is that normal where you're from, too?" Once the questions started from Kili, they were fired at Cody so fast he didn't have a chance to answer.

"Oh, he's far from normal," I cut in, grinning at the glare Cody sent me, but turning to talk to Kili and Fili. "I don't think I know anyone naturally hairless, he has stubble if he doesn't shave for a few days-" The dwarves around me all blanched at that. "-and he is _not_ normal where we come from." Cody sent me a particularly nasty look. "But there are lots of not-so-normal-people."

"Like you," he said pointedly.

We played this game a lot - normally with lots of beer involved - but I went right into it without skipping a beat. My mouth hung open and I tried my best to look offended.

"Me? Shut up, queer, I'm totally normal."

His hand flew to his heart and he 'tsked' me, grin slowly returning to his face.

"Oh, sweet, naive, Holly-kins. You are _weird_."

"Shut up!"

"I swear to god you can't remain calm for long. You have these little anxiety attacks or you get all mean and mad-"

"Only because you _are infuriating!_ "

"-You snore. You snort. You think you're athletic but you're not-"

"Asshole."

"You can be a _bitch_."

"Cunt."

"Whore."

_"Butt-bitch."_

Okay, so that last one had us breaking the instant I yelled it out. Cody and I both laughed hard, but the dwarves around us looked bewildered (and Balin looked quite offended at hearing the language).

"Maybe it's time for us to go to sleep now," Balin cut in. Cody was still laughing and I had just recovered. As much as he bothered me, Cody and I always had a blast insulting each other and coming up with the weirdest insults we could find in the depths of our gutter-brains. He normally won, and I would break into fits of giggles first, so I felt a little victorious having won this battle.

"I miss hanging out with you," Cody said, ignoring Balin's comment and resting his chin in his hand.

I smiled a little bit and returned a polite, 'me too', but I'm not sure how much of it was true. I did miss hanging out with him _occasionally_ , but we were never together for more than a few hours before we were too drunk to care if the other person was annoying as all hell.

"Do you two have some supplies? A sleeping bag, spare clothes..." Balin gave us a weird look when we both shook our heads, but apparently decided not to ask further questions. I could still see that he was curious. It probably was weird to see two odd travelers completely unprepared at screaming at each other. "Right. Fili, Dwalin." Balin nodded to the two dwarves, "We have some spare cloaks you two can use for the night. I can't guarantee they'll keep you as warm as a sleeping bag will, but Bifur and Bombur should each have a spare blanket with them when we reach Bree."

Fili and Dwalin each turned to search through the large packs behind them. Fili pulled out a large blue cloak, similar to the one wrapped around his shoulders, and handed it to me. I thanked him and quickly wrapped the thick fabric around my shoulders. It was surprisingly warm, and nearly as big as a blanket as well. Dwalin pulled out a cloak for Cody as well, but it didn't seem to engulf him the same as Fili's did for me. He pouted a bit, but none of the dwarves around the fire seemed to take notice.

I watched as the dwarves found comfortable areas beside the fire and rolled out their sleeping bags, removing their cloaks, armor, and boots before slipping into them. Balin handed Cody his bright red cloak as well, and Cody wrapped it around his shoulders. Within minutes of just staring into the warm fire and scooting a little closer to the flames, a loud snore from Dwalin made me jump.

"Oh god, no," I groaned quietly and Cody snickered. _I hate snoring!_ God, there was no way I was going to get any sleep.

"Sweet dreams," Cody whispered, a shit-eating-grin on his face as he lay down between Balin and Dwalin and adjusted the two cloaks over him.

I did the same, my stomach jumping again at the sudden and loud snore. I moved the cloak to wrap completely around me. It clearly wasn't meant to be a soft and comfy blanket, but it was far better than nothing at all. I wrapped it tightly around my shoulders and flipped the hood up and over my head, hoping that the fabric would maybe filter out some of that horrible noise Dwalin was making.

It didn't, by the way.


	3. Three Plates Of Food And ONLY ONE Drink (I Swear)

I swear, this is the last time I woke up in Middle Earth thinking I was back home. It was depressing, really. My hopes brought up and smashed right back down. The blanket that I had wrapped around me and pulled over my head was warm, but the material was too scratchy to be one of my own blankets. I woke to the feeling of warm metal in my hand, and realized I was holding my pocket knife in my hand, blade drawn and held close to my chest.

Again, I woke to the sound of voices, deep and rumbling, and I could only barely make out the words.

"-soon. We have plenty of time, Kili, do not fret. We will travel today to Bree and stay there a night with Bifur, Bofur and Bombur - they should be there by now, anyway." That was Balin's voice, and I felt a little proud at being able to decipher who was who, by now.

"We shouldn't leave much later than this, Balin." That sounded like Kili, impatient and restless, and much closer to me than Balin was. "We should wake her so she can get ready to leave."

"Oh, I'll do it." That was Cody, and that was all the warning I got before something sharp hit with my shoulder and rolled me over. "Up you get, cranky-pants."

I yelped and threw the cloak off, scrambling to my feet and launching toward Cody who skipped - _yes, skipped_ \- across the dead fire to stand behind Dwalin and peak around his shoulder. I had grabbed a handful of his shirt but it was ripped from my hands quite easily when he spun away.

"You didn't have to _kick_ me," I groaned, folding up the cloak in my lap and stretching my arms. "Payback's a bitch." I muttered that last bit and sent Cody a glare. I was in no mood to be kicked around and talked about while they thought I was asleep. Home was on my mind and I wanted to get back there. Now. No more sleeping in the forest and trying to not get murdered...or woken up via kicks. An alarm clock would do just fine.

"Well, we didn't intend to wake you in that way, Miss. But, since you are up now..." Balin's apologetic look fell away quickly to an upbeat attitude as he turned to address Cody. "No use in wasting time. Come, come, gather your things."

I looked around my spot on the grass. I had my knife clutched in one hand and Fili's cloak in the other. I didn't really _have_ other things to gather. My jacket was on and for a moment I looked around for my shoes before remembering they were gone...replaced with massive hairy feet. _Queue mental sob-fest._ Balin seemed to notice the lack of luggage as well.

"Oh, um, well, no worries then."

Fili and Kili were pulling their packs over their shoulders and I went to hand Fili his spare cloak back. He held a hand up before I could say a word.

"Keep it for now. It's a warm morning but just over that mountain the weather has been known to take nasty turns." He turned and pointed to a rather large mountain. Thick clouds covered the sky and hid the very top in a mist that looked to be retreating slowly from the trees. A few beams of sunlight fought through the trees to warm the small valley we had slept in.

"We're actually going to go with them?" I whispered to Cody after I had sneaked around the fire to where he was standing just as awkwardly as I was, with nothing to gather up but the cloak in his arms. Balin had taken his red one back and was now fastening it around his shoulders.

Dwalin hoisted his axe up and with a grunt, it rested against his shoulder. I eyed it, going unnoticed by him and still uneasy about all the _weapons_. Kili was placing his bow over his shoulder and Fili already had his sword hanging from his silver belt. My neck suddenly felt a little too vulnerable when I remembered just how large that sword was when it was pointed straight at me, and I pulled the cloak tighter over my shoulders.

"Where else are we going to go?" Okay, so I didn't have a great argument against _that_. Where the hell could we go? We didn't even know where we were, or what kinds of things other than dwarves were in this forest.

I groaned a little when I took a few steps and noticed the blue cloak dragged against the grass. Like, a _lot_. Cody just laughed and moved to where Dwalin and Balin were standing beside the fire, massive packs on and ready to set off.

Okay, so this was it. We were actually _following_ them to this place to something called a 'Bilfur' and 'Bomber'. My stomach did a bit of a flip because I really had no choice. The two oldest dwarves were walking into the forest and Kili and Fili were following behind them. Cody turned back to me and with a jerk of his head motioned to come with.

I groaned and jogged past him.

"I better not regret this."

* * *

Cody looked down at me - I was still getting used to him having to look _down_ at me - and winced. I had stubbed my toes yet again on one of the thousands of roots that seemed to be jumping out at my feet. I swear...they were _trying_ to trip me up. My legs were definitely shorter than before and I felt like I had to take a flying leap over the roots that the dwarves (and Cody) had to merely step over.

So. Not. Fair.

"Need a piggy-back ride?" Cody asked, aiming for a sweet voice but it was just not going over well with me today. Nothing seemed to be going over well with me today. I just felt rotten. I felt lost. And I wanted my shoes back. Or a _drink._

Cody's hands went up quickly into 'surrender' mode and he trudged on. This forest was thick with trees, and only a few clearings left enough space for sunlight to filter through. Those moments in the sun felt glorious with far too much time in between and not enough time to relish in the sunlight. The cloak around my shoulders kept the misty air off of me, but the damp cold had seeped in and made my feet and ankles numb. Which was probably for the best as I kept kicking my poor toes into roots.

The sun warmed my face, if only for a second, before we had to push on farther up the mountain. After we left our small clearing where we had camped, I couldn't see the mountain ahead of us at all, and when the mist set in I realized that the thick clouds that I thought were burning _off_ the mountain were actually just setting in.

I'll say it again. _So. Not. Fair._

I huffed and tried to take deep breaths. One breath for every few steps seemed to work the best, but it felt like a labor just to gasp.

Okay, so here's where I should tell you a little secret.

Nothing big. Nothing I couldn't handle. I just...can't run. Like _can't_ can't. My dad can, he runs miles and miles every morning but whenever I try and join him it turns into a walk within a mile or two, and that would be on a good day with pristine conditions.

This was more than a mile. This was more than two. What was worse, the dwarves in front of me weren't even _running_ , they were just jogging at what looked like an easy pace from back here. Me, with my short legs and large feet, had a hell of a time keeping up. And those _fucking_ roots weren't helping one damn bit!

Sweat was dripping down my face and my lungs didn't seem to be listening. I wasn't asking much, just to _fucking breath_. Yeah, they still weren't listening. Damn rebels.

For the tenth time that day Balin slowed his pace, falling behind the other dwarves and earning himself a disapproving look from Dwalin for his efforts. I found it far too easy to be short with Cody, he was _Cody_ and that was reason enough. But Balin looked like he could be a sweet, old grandpa. He had never been mean or rude to me and I couldn't bring myself to be so short with him. So I took a deep breath when I saw he was slowing down to come back and talk with me again.

"How are you doing, Lass?" His voice was kind, but I could tell he was nudging me to speed up. _Stop it, brain. Be nice. Be nice to the old man. Do. Not. Snap.  
_

"Me? I'm fine. Oh, yeah, fine." He wasn't buying it.

"We're near the top now and then we can take a break for lunch - the others are getting hungry too and after we can continue on down. Then it won't be far to Bree." Lunch would provide a wonderful moment to stretch my legs and recover without my entire body burning up with embarrassment. If the others needed to stop for lunch than that was great, because even if it absolutely killed my legs - which it was, at the moment - I would not be the reason that everyone had to stop.

I nodded to Balin and looked up, wishing I could tell exactly how far we were from the top of the mountain. It felt like we had been running _forever_ , how were we not on the other side by now?

This was when I found out that I cannot multitask when it comes to running. Looking up and running through a forest filled with vengeful, foot-grabbing roots did not mingle well. My knees hit a large root hard and I did quite a spectacular flip over the root, smacking onto my back with a _oof_! Air was forced out of my lungs and I laid on the mossy ground for a few seconds, dazed and wondering where the _hell_ that train just came from.

Before I could even open my eyes or yelp at the throbbing pain in my knees, someone was grabbing my shoulders and picking me up off the ground. It felt foreign to be picked up and put on my feet like a toddler who had stumbled over.

"Keep an eye on the ground, Miss," Balin said with a kind smile, hand holding my shoulder until I found my balance. I reached down to grab my knife which had fallen out of my tight grasp, and stuffed it in my pocket before turning to face Balin. Had it been Cody to say those words he would have gotten an earful.

"Thanks," I muttered, still breathless from running and getting the wind knocked straight from my lungs. I looked forward to see the end of Cody's dark green hood disappear around a bend in this invisible path we were following. They weren't even going to stop!

"Here we go," Balin muttered, nudging me forward and back into what felt like a full-on run. My knees felt weak and bruised but I pushed on, determined to not be the sole reason that the entire group had to take a break.

_Breath. In. Out. Yes, good lungs. Just like that. No...don't hurt. Stop hurting!_

Balin had been right in thinking that we were close to the top, but I could never figure out how he knew that.

I came racing into the clearing with Balin at my side and came sliding to an ungraceful stop. I could feel dirt wedging itself between my toes and I grimaced. Fili, Kili, Cody and Dwalin were standing in a tiny clearing, on _flat_ ground.

Now was not the time to throw myself on the ground and thank whatever _Lords_ graced these lands that we didn't have to keep running up! I don't really remember my legs ever burning this much, and it felt absolutely wonderful to sit down on the wet and mossy ground and pulled Fili's cloak tight around my shoulders. It felt wonderful...until my hips started to cramp. _Bad_.

I had to stand up again to stretch, and I looked over to see that Cody was doing something similar, stretching out his legs in front of him and reaching for his toes.

"So, we're at the top?" I had to fight my words down until they didn't sound so damn hopeful.

"Yes, we are," Kili answered, turning and grinning at me. "We can have a small break and some bread-" _Oh, goody._ "-but then, we need to go back down and across a small river before we reach Bree. We should be there before nightfall, even at this pace." Okay, that was a little uncalled for. His smile widened at my glare and he turned to his brother.

I thought my thighs hurt running uphill? My calves absolutely _burned_ going downhill at the same pace. I tried to stick my heels into the mossy ground to control my speed, leaping and jumping over roots until I felt like I just wanted to flop over and _cry_. This time, Balin didn't come back to join me on the race downhill. He stayed in the front, guiding the group through many small clearings and between trees. The dwarves just seemed to know this area by heart, and I followed along like a lost puppy, just hoping that _soon_ we'll make it to the bottom so we can take another break.

Oh, we reached the bottom. Ten more roots reached up to stub my toes and I only tripped once on the way down the mountain. I was beginning to get discouraged when the fog didn't seem to lift because it was impossible to see how far we were from the bottom. The fog actually followed us until we reached the very bottom of the mountain - _yes, we did reach it alive and all toes and kneecaps intact._ But we didn't get a break.

I paused for a moment, huffing and puffing and confused.

We were at the bottom. The trees around us were farther apart and I could see that the land before us was quite flat. But the back of the cloaks ahead of me continued to swish behind the dwarves as they ran.

We weren't getting another break.

I guess I wasn't promised one, but I still felt a little cheated.

 _Deep breaths, Holly. Come on, you can_ do _this!_

* * *

By the time we reached the river, my feet were disgusting. I didn't even want to look down at them, but my damn fascination in them keep drawing my gaze. How was it that my _feet_ changed. And why? Why did I have to have such big and _hairy_ feet?

"Here we go, now," Balin said with a grin, breath only a tiny bit labored as he pulled me over to the river's edge by the elbow.

I couldn't stop the groan - this was a _massive_ river. In my mind, I had pictured a stream we could jump over. This was no stream. The water ran fast over a shallow rock bed, white foam splashing into the air, but it was difficult to see how deep the water was a few feet away from the riverbed.

"Would you like one of us to carry you over?" He had meant it kindly, I could tell, so I didn't bite his head off. I did however, bristle a bit when Cody sniggered. The bugger could barely swim himself, who the hell was _he_ laughing at?

"I'll be fine," I grumbled. "But the cloak will get wet," I added, taking it off my shoulders and realizing just how _cold_ it was without the thick fabric around me. I was _not_ going to be the last one across the mountain only to be seen _shivering_ and being carried over the river. Oh hell no! I set the cloak aside with quite a bit of difficulty, kneeling down to roll my jeans up and over my knees.

Cody was doing the same, and I snickered when he had some trouble.

"You know, if you wore clothes that _fit_ this wouldn't be a problem for you." I felt quite good in that moment, now that I had caught my breath and I was back to laughing at Cody, standing tall over him as he knelt down. It didn't last, of course. With a swipe of his large hand, he grabbed my ankle and flicked my leg up. I went crashing onto the ground with quite a bit of screeching and I immediately dove for that _idiot!_

"You jackass, what the hell was that for?"

"Don't make fun of my clothes!"

"Then don't wear funny clothes!"

Balin had stopped any fight that would have arose and Cody had to settle for rolling his jeans to just below his knees, shooting me a rude look behind Kili's back. I stuck my tongue out at him but was sobering up when Balin motioned to the river; it was time to go.

Dwalin was the first to cross the river, water splashing up to his thighs as he moved quickly against the harsh current without so much as a moment of hesitation. I gulped. If it was hitting his _thighs_ it would no doubt completely wash me away.

Kili and Cody crossed next, Balin not far behind them.

I couldn't really stall much longer. I looked over to Fili, who was watching me. Oh great, he was waiting for me to cross first. _Okay, Holly, don't make a fool of yourself. You can do this!  
_

We both waded into the water and - _god dammit -_ it was so cold! All thoughts of _not_ shivering completely left my mind and my new challenge was to not fall. I was only up to my ankles and I could feel the current trying to push my feet off the slimy rocks.

Cody was kind to not laugh - or too cold to notice - either one, it really didn't matter. The rest of the group was waiting on the other side of the river for us.

My face burned red when my feet slipped and I barely caught the folded cloak before I dropped it. Now the water was up to my calves, I couldn't stop the shivering even if I had to, and we weren't even halfway across the river. I dug my fingers into the warm fabric and stepped forward.

"This would be faster if you let me carry you," Fili said, his voice almost drowned out by the rushing water. "I won't tease you, I promise," he added. If I were in his place, I would have been horribly impatient. I couldn't even find the breath to thank him for waiting, with every step the water got colder and all thoughts were back on _breathing_.

"I'm fine," I grumbled, trying to take quicker steps.

Bad idea.

Something caught my upper arm before I had even noticed I was going to fall. Fili's tight grip on my arm hauled me back up and to my feet again, where the water was at my knees and pushing up to my thighs, threatening to drag me down with every moment I made. My jeans were soaking wet with icy water and I couldn't help but take a moment to mourn my dry clothes.

 _So. Cold. So. Cold. Why is anything this cold? How is this river still liquid? It should be_ ice.

Without warning, water swooshed past my feet and Fili had picked me up. My legs hung awkwardly over his arm and I had to scramble to get a grip on his shoulder so I wouldn't fall right back into the water. He made it quickly across the river. Had I not been so cold, I would have fought and screeched and kicked and punched until he put me down. I _do not_ like to be picked up or carried. At all.

But my feet were cold and sore and my knees were still throbbing and I was _hungry_.

So I let him carry me.

"Don't," I warned, pointing a finger to Cody when he looked up to see Fili setting me down on their side of the river. He stopped with his mouth hanging open and turned to Balin who had grabbed his shoulder.

"Now isn't the best time," he said, and if I weren't struggling to get the cloak back on and dry my legs and feet I would have ran over and _hugged_ him. Cody was silenced with his words and we all turned away from the river, continuing through the forest.

The last little stretch really wasn't as large as I was expecting, and we could _walk_. I don't know who made the decision that we didn't have to run, but I was forever in debt to them. My stomach grumbled though - lunch had consisted of (surprise) bread - and my throat was burning for something to drink. Every gulp I took only seemed to make it worse, but I just couldn't stop.

Cold. Hungry. Cold. Thirsty. _Cold._ If _this_ is what traveling felt like, then I wanted no part in it. No thank you. A warm fireplace and a large plate of food every night would be suffice. Maybe a cup of hot tea. Or hot cocoa. Oh man, why is it still so cold?

While we were walking I was able to keep pace with the dwarves easily enough, taking short and quick steps and keeping an eye out for the (thankfully) smaller roots. Before too long and before I fell over out of hunger, I noticed small lanterns hung along a line of trees. And good timing, too, the sun that was hiding behind the clouds was beginning to go away, and the cold gray sky was growing darker and darker.

The lanterns lit our path well enough and the moss slowly retreated to the trees, leaving us with a dirt path straight to Bree.

The town was not what I was expecting. I was thinking of _houses_ and _stores_ and a _phone_ so we could call home and have someone pick us up. (I was slightly aware that the last one was a bit of a stretch.) This looked like some picture from our history book. The street wasn't much of a street; the wet air had turned the dirt path to mud and I winced when it seeped between my toes. _Oh god, where were my shoes?_

There were small signs that hung above narrow buildings but I couldn't figure out what the shops were selling. They all looked closed, anyway. Only a few windows were filled with light that spilled into the damp road. There was no grocery store. No market. Nowhere to get any _food,_ so where were we going?

We marched forward in pairs and I stood close to Cody, following behind Fili and Kili who seemed to know their way around town.

"Here we are," one of them cried out in relief. Apparently they were just as hungry and ready for a rest as I was. We turned to a building with a large sign that simply said _'Inn_ '. I was ready to ask about us getting some food but Dwalin and Balin pushed past us and threw the door open and I could _smell_ it.

_Food!_

I followed mindlessly, the door slamming beside us and suddenly we were in a large room with groups of people sitting around tables. A bar was not far off and I could hear people singing a song I had never heard in slurred, cheery voices. We followed the dwarves through the crowd, pushing past a particularly tall fellow carrying a large tray.

_What sort of creature is that, I wonder?_

"Hello, Bombur," I heard Balin greet someone, but his body blocked my sight and I waited as they made some small talk of their journey here. Another impossibly large man pushed past us and turned to apologize, taking a second glance and having to look _way_ down at me. I was too tired to make any sort of comment, at the moment, and the man continued through the crowd.

Bombur had an exceptionally deep voice, but he also sounded as if he was on the verge of laughing with every word; I wouldn't have been much more surprised if it turned out he was Santa Clause.

"Bifur and Bofur are getting us some food and drinks," the particularly large man with what looked like a braided necklace paused when he noticed Cody and I following the four dwarves to the seats around the table. "We'll have him grab some more. Can't have anyone go hungry here, can we?" Bombur patted the chair beside him and gave me a wink, wide grin cheerful and kind. Ah, Bombur was _my_ kind of guy! Food on the mind.

The moment the word 'food' hit my ears I was seated snugly between Bombur - whose chair creaked as he turned to look me over - and Balin. Kili, Fili, and Cody sat across from us and I was struck again by how different they all looked. Kili and Fili looked as if they belonged to the Roman Empire, and Cody looked like he had just stepped out of a gay night club with his forehead still shiny and sweaty. I smiled at this but kept my comments to myself. So far my outbursts had only earned me odd looks and quirked heads.

A rough voice called out something in a foreign language and set in front of Bombur was a large plate of food and an overflowing mug of bitter alcohol.

"A she-hobbit and a fellow dwarf," Balin said, turning to address a wild-looking man with a yellow hood pulled over his scraggly, gray-streaked hair. A thick beard almost covered his entire face, but I could still make out a wide, friendly grin somewhere in there. "Holly and Cody, this is Bifur."

He made a short comment that I still couldn't understand - it almost sounded like Russian - still smiling as he left the table. I pulled Fili's cloak tighter around my shoulders, realizing that our clothes would be the first things that set us apart from the others in the group.

"Ah, we do have more guests!" The booming voice was greeted by everyone at the table when Bofur kicked a chair out of the way, swaying around with plates balancing on his arms and a funny looking hat extending over his shoulders, and a grin even wider and goofier than Bifur's. "I'll just grab us another few plates then," he turned and yelled something I couldn't understand just as my stomach let out a loud growl. "Bifur will get them." He waved a hand in the air and took a seat at the table, sliding two plates over to Kili and Fili and a third over to Balin.

"Had a long trip, Lass?" Bombur asked, and I grinned and nodded. He must have heard my stomach clear as day.

The food slid past me and I wanted to turn and help Bifur get our food. Fast. I was absolutely starving, and bread had not cut it. Meat, potatoes, carrots and other foods were heaped into a large pile on wooden plates and soon after I smelled the food the bitter smell of ale filled the air. Forget the saying, _Home is where the heart is._ I grabbed the fork as soon as a plate was slid across the table in my direction. _Home is where the_ food _is._

I looked up to see Cody eating with equal gusto and a hand appeared by my side, holding an absolutely massive mug of ale.

"Would you like a drink, Miss?" I nodded and accepted the mug from whoever held it out to me, mouth filled with food so I had to awkwardly cover my mouth while I thanked them. I thought it was Dwalin, but it could have been Balin. I was beginning to sense a theme in their rhyming names, but this food was so good I couldn't bear to stop and ask anyone.

 _Forget Home is where the food is._ I grinned at Cody over my mug, noticing that he was already halfway through his plate of food and working through his own mug of ale. _Home is where the alcohol is._

I swear, it was only one mug of ale. So why was the room swaying with the makeshift beats of music? The dwarves around me were singing a song of traveling, but I couldn't focus on their words long enough to understand them. It was cheery and bright, and their fists hit the table to create a rhythm and I noticed Cody had caught onto their beats and was pounding his own large hands on the table as well.

I just sat back in my chair, feeling warm and full and tired. Thoughts of home swept in for only a moment. My own bed. My own apartment. My job. It all went flying in one side of my mind and out the other as the bodies of Bombur and Balin swaying bumped my shoulders, forcing me to sway along to their cheerful songs.

This wasn't so bad. Of course, this was only the beginning of my journey.


	4. I Was Right, I Was Right!

I think this was my first _ah-ha_ moment, when I opened up my eyes and saw the wooden panels on the wall of the Inn. I could hear some dwarves shuffling around me and their voices as they tried - and failed - to speak quietly to not wake the few of us that were still sleeping. I didn't wake with a start, feeling sick or relieved that I was home. I was a little relieved that I wasn't relieved, actually. Getting that sort of let down every morning seemed to be taking a toll on my temper. Waking up and just... _knowing_ that I was not home felt better than all the other times I had woken up here so far.

I just...woke up. With seven dwarves. And one that was apparently dead.

I screamed, leaping up from my spot on the floor and tripping over the cloak still tied around my shoulders as I stepped back. It pulled me back to the floor flat on my ass where I scrambled over someone's pack. One dwarf, Bifur, lay on the ground mere inches from where I had been sleeping. He looked peaceful except for the _axe sticking out of his forehead_.

My scream was cut short by a large hand wrapping around my face to cover my mouth, and another one grabbing my shoulders and lifting me off the ground. The room shifted around as I was dragged from the room, hand pressed too hard over my mouth and nose. I could just barely get a breath in. Whoever had me had a damn good grip and I couldn't tear myself away, but I was still kicking and screaming because _oh my god_ I did not want to die this way. An axe to the head, eyes open and rolled back with a bit with drool falling into a puddle by my face.

The sight of Bifur laying dead on the ground was torn away as a door slammed shut but I could not get that image out of my mind.

"Will you _be quiet_?"

My entire body was shaking in that moment, so the irritation in the man's low voice was falling on deaf ears and I continued to struggle and fight to get away from the axe-murderer. There was a small voice in the back of my head _screaming_ that I had been right, but with the murderer having quite the hold on me I didn't feel as victorious as I expected.

The moment his arms began to loosen I tore away, scrambling and nearly falling in my haste. I wildly thought of where Cody was, and where my knife was because even if I didn't use it well the last time I met the dwarves I would be damned if I died without putting up one hell of a fight. I ended up spinning - _if I was going to die I was going to see who my murderer was, no 'who-done-it's' for Holly_ \- and bracing my back against a wall by accident. I was ready to dodge around the person, to push back harshly and startle them to give myself just another second to _think_.

I opened my mouth to gasp and Fili rushed forward to cover my mouth again, moving too quickly for me to dodge.

So that's how Cody found me this morning as he waltzed up the stairs with an apple in hand. Screaming bloody murder, having my mouth covered and held against a wall so I wouldn't wake the entire Inn. Yeah, so he looked a little confused.

"He's fine, he's fine," Fili repeated, but I couldn't bring myself to believe him. He could say that all he wanted, an _axe_ in the head was hardly 'fine and dandy', in my book. I just glared at him - the _little liar_ \- and continued to push against him and throw him off. His arms wouldn't budge no matter how hard I was pushing and scratching and his legs seemed immovable, though I still tried to kick out at him.

"Bifur freak her out?" Cody asked, stepping beside Fili. What the hell was he _thinking_ and why wasn't he _running?_ "I kind of freaked out too," he said casually. "He's fine, Holly. Just sleeping is all."

At this, I stopped kicking at Fili's legs, but my hands were frozen on his arms, still trying to push him away because his large hand covered both my mouth and my nose and I was having a _really_ hard time breathing. My nails were merely sliding off his shirt and the anger and fear that had fueled my urge to turn and fight was replaced with a new sort of fear because I _still_ couldn't breath.

In an instant, Fili seemed to notice this too. He stepped back sharply and I leaned back against the wall, hand coming up to my face and taking in long, deep breaths of wonderful air. _Glorious_ air.

"I'm sorry, that was too much," he said, and Cody just stood next to me, hand on his hip. "Bifur isn't dead. Years ago he was struck in the head by an axe. He's under the impression that it can't be removed or his brain will be damaged." Fili didn't look as if he believed this, himself.

Now that I was breathing again and could stand on my own two feet, I looked up to the two in front of me. Cody was eating his apple again, and _god_ he was so tall now, a little bit taller than Fili, now that I could compare them easily. I felt so tiny and it had been way too easy for Fili to just lift me up and drag me out of the room. That sort of vulnerability had never been a problem for me before.

"Oh, well, uh- Sorry." That was lame, but I suppose I had given them quite a scare with my screaming and fighting. So Bifur wasn't dead, he was _supposed_ to have an axe in his head - still 50/50 on taking Fili's word on that - and I had just woken up several dwarves over _nothing_. _Fantastic._

"Everything alright?" That was Balin, sticking his head out into the hallway and glancing at the three of us. I had expected everyone to be irritated, but he didn't.

"Fine. She just had a scare," Fili said, nodding to Balin who retreated back into the large room shared by all the dwarves. Now that we were all alone in the hallway, the light-haired dwarf turned back to us. "My uncle will not take kindly to these kind of scares. If you wish to continue your travels with us to the Shire, as Balin suggests, you should learn to control...this." Fili's eyebrows were drawn together as if he couldn't quite put his finger on what _this_ was. At _that_ , he scanned both myself and Cody. "You should also keep your cloaks on and tight until we reach our next stop."

Cody looked miffed but I just smiled and nodded, thankful that he was so quick to forgive that spazz-attack. I pulled the cloak around my shoulders tighter and he went back into the room, closing the door behind him and leaving me alone with Cody.

"I don't want to go with them," I muttered and Cody took a large bite from the apple, chewing with his mouth open and _gross_ , I could see it all from down here.

Cody swallowed and looked down at me, surprised. "So what do you suggest we do, then?"

"I don't know, but I don't trust them-"

"Where's your sense of adventure?" Cody interrupted, grinning and opening his arms wide, invitingly. There wasn't much of a wonderful 'oooohhh' moment, as we were only standing in the hallway of some old Inn, and his hands quickly fell to his sides in a sigh.

I quirked an eyebrow. "I don't want to _die_ here, Cody. _Adventure_ isn't waltzing into the woods with unknown men with _weapons_. We call _that_ suicide."

"You have a knife." His response was fast and he smirked, crossing his arms.

"That's different, that's not a weapon. He has a _sword_. Like, a _fucking sword!"_ I motioned wildly to the door that Fili had just shut.

"Well, to be honest, it sounds like you snuck up on them."

" _I_ snuck up on _them_?" I had almost yelled back at him but remembered to keep my voice down at the last moment. Cody stood with his shoulder pressed against the wall, inspecting a scab on his finger. "They jumped at me when I was in the bushes _hiding_ from them because I saw what they were carrying."

"That's not the way Kili tells it," he sing-songed, picking the scab and flicking it at me. It fell short but I still jumped back because _eww_ , that was absolutely disgusting.

"Oh, fine, believe _him_ , then." I sighed, throwing a hand in the direction of the room and giving Cody my best _'I really don't care, I don't'_ , look. Which was promptly ignored.

"Well, I'm going with them. Balin said he'll take us to the Shire so we can meet someone named Gandalf - they have wizards here, too - and then we'll see what we can do." He looked far too excited about the concept of wizards being real. "You can come with, if you like." He shrugged and turned on his heels, walking with a happy skip in his step back to the room of the dwarves.

I stood alone in the hallway, unsure where to go now. I couldn't just stay here.

Groaning, I kicked the wall and sent a curse Cody's way, right as he shut the door behind him. He left it a tiny bit open, though, and I wanted to give _him_ a good kick in the ass. He knew I would follow him, and I did.

* * *

Everyone had their massive packs on their shoulders by the time the sun was finally up and over the mountains. This time, it did look like the sun was going to burn off the fog but until that happened I had to tighten the cloak around my arms and pull my hood up and over my hair, secured in the ever-present ponytail. The group of (now) seven dwarves and me and Cody left the Inn, piling into the empty streets. My feet were still dirty from the day before, but that didn't stop me from cringing. I just _hated_ that feeling of mud seeping between my toes and making disgusting _squelching_ noises.

"We should be there before dinner if we keep up a nice quick walk," Balin called out from the front of the group. There was a grumble of replies and everyone seemed to find themselves in a single-file line as the path out of Bree became narrow. I walked behind Kili and Cody was behind me, making up the back of the group.

One thing I had yet to look closely at were the braids. Each dwarf seemed to have a different style, all beautiful (yes, even the ones in their beards), and I watched Kili's braid-less hair sway in front of me. He was the only one without them; his hair was so dark and curly I hadn't noticed that before now.

"Why don't you have braids?" I asked, jogging forward until I was walking beside Kili on the narrow path. He glanced down at me with an odd expression and slowly touched a hand to his hair. It hadn't even occurred to me that he would be self-conscious...that _not_ having intricate braids was the odd thing amongst dwarves. I felt a little bad and began to apologize before he cut me off.

"Most dwarves earn their braids. They're like a token of the experience they have after a battle. It's not always how it happens, but normally the battle-wise, married and older dwarves have more." He nodded forward to Fili, walking a few feet ahead of us. "Fili's been in a few fights before. I don't know if I'd call them _battles..._ "

At this, Fili tossed a look at us over his shoulder and I immediately moved to hide behind the darker dwarf beside me. It was the _you're-talking-about-me-stop-it_ look that had Kili's face breaking out into a grin.

"Is he that much older than you? I guess I just assumed you were around the same age."

"He's eleven years older than me, I'm only sixty-seven." Okay, if _that_ didn't have me stopping in my tracks right then and there, I don't know what would have. I couldn't stop the grin that came, even though I tried.

"Nice one," I chuckled and moved on, having to take a quicker step to match his own.

"You don't believe me?" he asked in a laugh.

"That your sixty-seven?" I let out a short breath, almost a chuckle, as he nodded. "Why should I? That's ridiculous."

"Right, how old are you, then?" Kili's shoulders straightened and he looked down his nose at me. I pushed my own shoulders back, trying to appear a teensy bit taller, though it was doing me no good.

"Twenty-five. Cody's only twenty-four." He must have heard me throw him under the bus as Kili's mouth dropped open, a smile ghosting over his features. Cody let out one of his little indignant snort-huff-things. I expected something like his shoe to come flying at my head, but nothing happened and after a moment I relaxed.

Kili just laughed and we fell back into our previous line, me following behind him and Cody behind me.

Every once in a while the winding path would take a sudden drop and I watched the dwarves before me weave around the bushes and trees. The path beneath us had remained the same, but at the edge of the cleared pathway the flowers began to bloom. It all looked so surreal - this sort of beautiful green, _fresh_ landscape just didn't exist in our world outside of pictures and paintings. This was far better than any sort of picture could have been, though. The sun - when we were under it - warmed my shoulders and my face as it moved across the sky and I dropped my hood so it could warm the top of my head as well.

The smells completely made up for the fact that _I_ probably smelled (though flowers weren't what came to mind).

The ground - _thank God!_ \- slowly turned from mud to dry dirt, and from dirt to luscious grass. Deep green and soft and let me tell you... so much more pleasant under my feet than mud. The landscape changed around us as they moved closer to the Shire. The woods became more calm and pleasant, filled with larger spaces and leafy trees and sunlight dotted onto our path. I continued to look around us, and I could see the dwarves ahead of me were far less interested in the scenery.

Balin did stop and stare for a moment as we passed one spot, where the trees before us simply disappeared and we could see the gorgeous rolling hills with wild flowers growing in patches and filling the air with wonderful smells. It wasn't until we passed a large valley filled with blue and red and purple and pink flowers that I noticed how well I could _smell_ them. It wasn't a whiff, the scents seemed to fill the air around me and I wondered if it was the flowers or me that had changed.

This last hill that we climbed over left one of the dwarves ahead of us gasping while the rest pushed past him with grumbles and marched on, and with a smile I hurried to the top to see what this new view would bring. Bofur had not been wrong to stop and stare. The hills before us were littered with small doors of different colors, all appearing to grow out of the grass around them. A few crooked fences poked up here and there and some of the paths looked to be made of stone, and my immediate thought was that it looked so _A_ _mish_. So calm and quiet and undisturbed, it felt like I would ruin it the moment I stepped foot on their land.

Oh, to hell with that. I wanted to see the oddly round doors up close!

I hurried down the side of the hill behind Bofur, the sun was just beginning to set before us and my feet were staring to hurt more. I smiled when we passed a sign that read "The Shire", almost hidden in the taller grass. It was short and off to the side of the road, covered in a bit of dirt and written in an odd handwriting I had never seen before. But it looked perfectly fitting for such a simple and beautiful town. We passed the sign and I looked ahead, catching a glimpse of a few of the dwarves ahead of me when we came up another small hill.

I took a quick look at the braids ahead of me, taking note of who had more than others. A few of the dwarves had magnificent braids - Bombur's wrapped around his entire neck like a scarf - and I looked closer at the back of Fili's head and the several braids that fell over his shoulders. The heads of the other dwarves moved in an out of my view; white, dark, and red hair all twirled and twisted in many different ways. It was fascinating, actually, to see such a different culture that they lived in so comfortably.

If _this_ was what an adventure would feel like then maybe I could get used to it.

"Now, we're looking for a door," Balin called out, "with a specific sign on it. You'll know it when you see it, lads."

I let out a little breath, having just climbed up the first of what looked like many sets of stone steps built into the ground. _How very_ specific _of him._

We passed a few doors, one red, one green, one gray...but none had a sign on them. They all had a small knob in the middle, and most were hidden behind large gardens and benches and fences. I just couldn't stop looking at the rolling hills and trees and flowers around us, so I didn't notice when everyone in front of me stopped short.

"Sorry," I muttered to Bifur but he didn't seem to take notice. I stepped to the side and peaked up and over the taller man's shoulder, seeing that we had stopped in front of a gate. Behind the gate, was a large green door, but there was no sign that I could see.

"Ahh, here we are," Balin called out and a few of the dwarves let out a sigh of relief, Kili shifting the pack on his shoulders.

Okay, so I was not the only one who was starving and had missed lunch! (No meal goes unnoticed by Holly Morgan!) A deep voice ahead of me said something about food and pushed past Balin. It was Dwalin who opened the gate and marched to the door, his knuckles making an impossibly loud noise against the wood.

There was a long silence where Bifur shifted in front of me and I couldn't see a thing, once more. I looked around at the other doors around us. How much room did they have under the small hills? They couldn't possibly have much room for large families. I thought of how we would all fit inside one of these...it just wasn't a pretty picture, unless they have a wonderful ventilation system. I thought of the dirty men who had been traveling for days (for all I knew, it had been _weeks_!) and the lack of bathing and their dirty feet and if I was smelling this bad after only a few days of traveling, I shuddered to think of what would be coming off of the dwarves if they began to take their coats and boots off.

Just then, the door opened with a creak.

"Dwalin." I could hear his gruff voice and someone stuttered a reply.

"Balin." The older man had been much kinder, but whoever was behind the door still sounded appalled, muttering a hello and turning to yell something to Dwalin who had pushed past him into the house.

"Bombur."

"Bofur."

"Fili,"

"And Kili."

Bifur let out a bizarre sound and smacked his hand to his shoulder.

As the dwarves introduced themselves, they waltzed into the house and it wasn't until Bifur pushed his way into the hill that I saw how distraught the man before me looked. His head kept turning as he tried to keep track of where they were all wandering off to and I finally noticed the sign carved into the door, though how any of them could take it to mean _anything_ went far over my head. Some muttered about food and others asked for the toilet, which seemed to baffle the man even more. He almost tripped in his haste to keep an eye on everyone and just as he turned to shut the door, he noticed that there were still two of us left outside.

"Uh, Holly Morgan," I introduced myself with a wave, trying to smile politely as I held my hand out but one of the dwarves had gotten a hold of some food and _oh my god_ I was hungry.

"Oh-yes, well, um... Bilbo." After a deep breath to collect his thoughts, the man before me - _only an inch taller, at the most!_ \- shook my hand and stepped aside. I didn't wait to step into the hill and took a deep breath, reveling in the smell of well cooked food. "Baggins," he added quickly, his hand coming up to his forehead and grabbing his curly brown hair. I laughed a bit and stepped into his house.

"Cody," I heard from behind me and the door was shut.

This was it. I was in the Shire.

And in the Shire, I might find a way home.


	5. I'm No Fighter, I Work At Starbucks

I had been expecting food - most of the dwarves were muttering about it on our way to the Shire - but I wasn't expecting a _feast_. Like, a full-on buffet with piles of food and rolls of cheese and kegs of ale. I jumped back when Kili and Fili rolled a barrel past us, not wanting to get my toes crushed after all that they had been through the previous day.

Cody had been by my side since we left Bree and immediately disappeared in the general eagerness for food. I heard him shout at another dwarf and could swear I saw a glimpse of short dark hair before he was gone completely.

I looked around the front room and remained by the door as Bilbo left, racing down the hall where Dwalin had disappeared to when a loud crash rang out through the home under the hill. There was a quiet knock on the door and some voices outside, but when I turned back to call out to Bilbo and peaked around the hallway I had last seen him, I couldn't find him. I could hear someone - likely to be Bilbo - yelling about not touching his things and a deep grumble, but nobody else seemed to have heard the knocking.

I turned to the door and stepped forward. Could I even do this? I stopped and stared at the door, listening to the voices on the other side. The knob in the center of the door did nothing when I twisted and pulled at it and I had to step back and look at the door closely before slapping myself.

The _normal_ knob was on the side, just like any other door. I wondered how rude it was in this place to open someone's door and greet the guests that would no doubt be looking for Bilbo.

I opened the door anyway. To hell with being polite, I was _hungry_ and wanted to get into that kitchen as soon as the smell of warm jam (or was that a pie?) hit me.

The door was open just a crack before something pushed hard on the other side and I stumbled back.

"Dori."

"Nori."

"Ori."

"Oin."

"Gloin."

I was surprised - _more dwarves!_ \- when five large men pushed past me, the last one shutting the door behind them. They each took off their large coats and swords and knives and _Jesus Christ_ how many different weapons do these people need? A large and heavy sword was thrown at me and I just barely managed to catch it before they all stood in the open room, door shut behind them and looking around expectantly.

It was Dori who first seemed to notice that I was even there.

"Ah, I wasn't told that our burglar had a pretty wife," he said, bowing his head kindly and I automatically nodded back, sword and straps wobbling awkwardly in my arms as I did so.

"Ah-uh, what? Oh! No! No! I'm not his wife. It's-well, I'm not."

At that, a few of the dwarves behind Dori chuckled and a few of them wandered off into the kitchen before I could gather a _better_ explanation for who I was. There were several yells as everyone greeted everyone and suddenly Bilbo burst into the room, light hair a mess and eyes wildly trying to take in all the new arrivals.

"There's _more_ of you?" He sounded so distressed and I felt bad but the dwarves simply introduced themselves on their way past him.

I shifted the heavy sword in my arms as Bilbo ran off again. How did they manage to swing these things around?

 _Meat. Was that gravy? Oh, if they had gravy then the dwarves could wrestle it out of my_ cold, dead fingers!

I dumped the sword on the ground with the others, cringing at the loud sound it made but no one seemed to take notice of me at all.

I always felt weird wandering around someone's home, especially when I had never been there before, and _especially_ when I was hardly invited inside at all. There were several hallways with tall, arched ceilings that led away from the front door and everything seemed beautifully decorated and well-kept. It wasn't what I was expecting out of a hole in the ground, though everything did scream _Amish_ again. Most things were carved from wood and only a few looked to be made of metal at all. I reached out to the coat rack that was now covered in large fur and weathered coats, a little smelly from the dwarves. A large animal head was carved at the top. Was that a frog? What a weird animal to chose for a coat rack. Lion or wolf came to mind, but frog! I grinned at the silly looking little coat rack.

The dwarves left their cloaks in a pile on a box by the door, and I took my own cloak off and folded it, blanched a little when I noticed how dirty the bottom had gotten in just a few days. I would definitely have to wash it before I could give it back to Fili.

 _Meat, potatoes_... _PIE!_

I went to the left, where the smells and noises and _smells_ were all coming from, to find Bilbo standing outside of his kitchen, arms loose by his side and mouth open as he watched the dwarves move around and take anything and everything from the shelves and cupboards.

I crept up beside him, not really meaning to scare him but I did anyway and smiled apologetically.

"Sorry," I muttered, but he didn't reply and instead just turned to watch in horror as his house was ransacked.

 _Hey!_ I noticed with a jolt that we were almost exactly the same height; he was perhaps an inch or two taller but I finally felt normal. After having to look _up_ at everyone around me it was a nice change to look _across_ at Bilbo, even if his expression was one of horror and betrayal.

I really didn't know what to do to help. I was in no way a part of their little group, I had no idea what we were all doing here aside from speaking with Gandalf, and if they didn't listen to me with a knife in my hand then they probably wouldn't listen if I were to scold them on their manners.

Which, by the way, were fucking horrible. For a second, I lost my appetite when Oin, older and slower moving, devoured a leg of _something_ with as much enthusiasm as I would expect from someone who hadn't eaten in _weeks_.

"We can use this room over here." A slightly smaller dwarf, Ori, peaked his head around the corner of the hallway. His voice was kinder and soft, a huge difference to Dwalin, who's large frame barely managed to fit in the crowded hall.

"No! That is for guests! It can't fit more than six or seven Hobbits, I don't think many dwarves can fit in-"

"Don't worry, we'll make room." Dwalin pushed past Bilbo roughly with large plates of food in his hands.

_Meat. Potatoes. Veggies. Bread._

My worry over Bilbo vanished embarrassingly fast because I was so tired of bread for breakfast, lunch, and snacks and now I wanted _food_. I did have the decency not to push the poor man over as I left him standing in the entrance to the kitchen, following the line of dwarves to a room that really did look too small for them all.

Several pieces of furniture were lining the wall, and Kili and Fili were hauling them into the hallway while Nori and Gloin brought a table in from wherever the hell they found it. Various chairs seemed to just appear and soon enough, the room was cleared out and several tables were mashed together, chairs lining the walls. It looked like there would barely be any elbow room, but that didn't seem to phase any of them and they all marched in.

 _God,_ we hadn't even been here for a full ten minutes and already Bilbo's entire house was rearranged.

"Would you like some wine or ale, Miss?" Dori asked, appearing at my side with a kind smile. I was frozen for just a moment, staring at the intricate silver braids that framed his entire face.

"Oh, um, wine, I guess," I stammered, and with a nod he left to ask Bilbo the same question. I laughed a bit at that - offering a drink to the house owner. Hill owner? Whatever.

There was another knock on the door and Bilbo threw his hands up, leaving the dwarves to drag more of his furniture around.

I followed Bilbo to the front door and watched as Ori rolled a _second_ barrel of ale down the hallway. I wondered where Cody had snuck off to, and waited just behind Gloin. How many dwarves there could possibly be? And how many we could fit under this hill before Bilbo snapped, because he was looking quite close to snapping by the time he threw the door open with a yell.

"Gandalf! I should have guess you were behind this!" I was quite interested by that name - he was the one Balin said could help us - and turned to see an absolutely _huge_ older man standing at the doorway and leaning heavily on an interestingly carved staff. He had large, tattered gray robes and though he looked tired, he smiled kindly.

"Bilbo, I see everyone has arrived safely," Gandalf said with a nod to the few dwarves that could be seen behind us, ignoring Bilbo's furious rantings about them all destroying his home. The impossibly tall man dipped his head low and had to leave his staff outside so he could fit into the house.

I was _so_ not used to feeling so small, I was "dwarfed" by the dwarves but this was just ridiculous. I doubted I came up to this man's waist! This just wasn't _normal._

"Calm down, Mr. Baggins. Everything with be put back and cleaned by the morning, don't you worry." At his calming words, Bilbo took a few deep breaths and I was quite surprised when no smoke came pouring out of his ears because he looked livid.

"Here's your wine, Miss," Dori said, offering me a glass and turning to Gandalf, offering him a drink in a surprisingly polite voice. Well _someone_ here had manners. Bombur pushed past a few dwarves in the kitchen, bringing several wheels of cheese through the hall and disappearing around a corner to cheers of ' _food!'_

"I don't believe we've met before," Gandalf said, turning to me. He looked kind had a gentle voice. If the others had behaved this way when we were found in the forest I probably wouldn't have had to use - _okay,_ try _to use -_ my pocket knife. "What odd clothing you wear," he noted in a grumble and I suddenly felt exposed. I had taken my cloak off without even thinking of Fili's warning! "No use troubling yourself, Miss. I look forward to talking to you but first..."

He thanked Dori and took a glass of wine into his hand as well, only needing to use his thumb and forefinger. He sighed and tipped it back and forth, examining the wine before drinking it in one swallow. I sipped at mine as he worked his way slowly into the kitchen, having to bow his head and shoulders down to get through the arched doorway and avoid a hanging lamp. I watched him curiously for a moment while he shifted through the mess to find a few things to nibble on. He seemed to get bored of this quickly, or decided that the others had taken whatever it was that he wanted.

"Where did all those dwarves run off to?"

"Down there." I pointed him in the direction of all the noise - they were singing now - and with a groan, Gandalf dipped his head low to avoid hitting his head on a beam high above my own head.

* * *

I found a comfortable spot in the kitchen, sitting on the counter beside the sink and picking at a few pieces of food that had been left behind. There really wasn't much, though, and I slipped off the counter once I realized that picking at little bits of this and that weren't going to help me at all. My stomach gave a loud growl, it agreed!

The soft footsteps were difficult to hear over the voices coming from down the hall, but I was aware of him just as Bilbo came wandering in from the noise and mess. He was shaking his head and muttering to himself, fed up with the dwarves, and he had his eyes locked on the ground in front of him. It looked like he was scared to glance up and see the damage done in the dwarves' haste for food and drinks. I took a few plates and stacked them in the sink, trying to ease a bit of his stress by cleaning. The slight noise of porcelain scraping on his counter tops made him jump and I smiled, a little embarrassed.

I motioned over to where the dwarves had left a lot of the food, spilling over plates and sitting in piles on the table in the center of the kitchen. I had been both eager and fascinated in how they all managed to prepare everything in the blink of an eye, and I had been too shocked to join in and grab my own plate of food. Now, my stomach was making it clear that food just sitting around on the counters shouldn't be wasted.

"Can I have a bite to eat?"

Bilbo looked a little taken aback, but I couldn't figure out why. I thought being polite would be a _good_ thing, especially after the rampage he had just survived.

"Oh-uh, of course," Bilbo stammered, blinking. I grinned and grabbed a clean plate to fill with food, taking a sip of wine from the glass that Dori had given me. I leaned against the edge of the counter, feeling more comfortable here than at the Inn the night before.

"Thank you. This is a lovely home. How long does it take to make something like this under a hill?"

"I'm not sure, my parent's built it years ago." Bilbo's brow was pulled together and he rocked back and forth on his large feet (just as hairy as mine - which still didn't make me feel any better about the light hair keeping my feet warm). "Do you not live somewhere around here?"

"No, my home is far away." I was at a bit of a loss. Was I suppose to explain to everyone I met that I don't know where home is from here? "We don't have houses underground like you guys do here, I find it interesting."

"How did you, you know, come to travel with such...interesting dwarves?" Bilbo asks, slow to chose his words carefully as to not offend.

"Um, that's actually a very long story. Maybe I can tell you later," I said, smiling as I dodged the question and drank some of the fruity drink in my hand. I wondered if I would ever get to tell him the full story of how I came to be standing in this weird land. Would I get to tell anybody? Or could I get home before I had to?

"So you all intend to stay for a while?" The question was followed by quite a haunted look. "I-uh, I didn't mean it quite like that."

I waved off the apologetic look. "No worries, man. I have no idea what those guys are up to, or when they're leaving."

"T-they? You don't intend to go with them?"

"Actually," a deep voice called from the hallway before I could answer and Gandalf dipped his head down to step into the messy kitchen. The tip of his hat hit the door frame and Bilbo's expression put me on edge. He didn't look all that happy to see the massive wizard. "That is precisely what I would like to talk to Miss Holly about. Bilbo, would you mind getting me another glass?" Gandalf handed him the empty wine glass in his hand.

With a polite 'of course', Bilbo grabbed the glass from Gandalf and nodded to me as he left. I could only manage a nod back with a mouthful of cheese. _Smooth._

"Balin has given me a little knowledge of how you and your friend came into their care. However, he doesn't seem to know much about _how_ you came to be in the mountains near Bree."

"Is it bad if I have no idea how we got there?" Gandalf made a little noise and gave me a look from under his thick, gray eyebrows. He didn't believe me! "No, I really don't. I was dri- having fun with Cody, and I must have fallen asleep or something." Gandalf grinned with a knowing look cast down at me. He muttered a quiet 'Yes, fell asleep, indeed' and I knew we were caught. "Okay, so we drank. Like, a lot. And I have no idea what happened. This is...nowhere near home. I don't know how any of this stuff is possible, Gandalf." Some of my panic was starting to show, even though I had been able to hide it for so long. I was in a _Hobbit Hole_ , with _Hobbits_ and d _warves_. I thought that saying that wouldn't have the massive impact on Gandalf that it did for me. "My _feet_ are _huge_ and Cody is a dwarf and apparently I'm a Hobbit but at home there aren't _any_ of these things-"

Gandalf raised a hand to quiet me and my rambling words died on my lips. The wine that had first settled my nerves suddenly tasted sour in my mouth, and the cheese not as tempting as before.

"I believe it would be wise if you do not indulge too much information on your own home until we have more information, ourselves. Even to me."

"Oh, um, right." Just then, Bilbo came back into a kitchen, two glasses of wine in his hand. He handed one to Gandalf and in a swift movement, threw the second one back, though it took him several more gulps than it took the wizard. He made a bit of a face and smacked his lips, though he looked a little more relaxed than earlier.

"Thank you very much," Gandalf said, and then there were three of us... standing alone in the kitchen with the sounds of noisy dwarves coming in from down the hallway. "Bilbo, a moment?"

"Right, sure, okay," Bilbo was muttering to himself as he left the kitchen and I couldn't help but feel a little bad - forced out of the dining room from the noise and mess and now he couldn't take refuge in his own kitchen. Gandalf didn't seem too worried, though, and turned back to me quickly.

"Well, I just...I just don't know where we are. Nobody here seems to know where our home is, so how are we supposed to get back? I just want to go home."

That was the first time I felt truly _defeated_. Not just lost, but at a loss for what to do. If I were home and at a point like this, I would simply call my mother for advice. I would rant and rave but be filled with confidence because someone had my back. It should feel like Cody was behind me, but at the moment he was currently smashing his fists on the tables and screaming and laughing along with all the others of his kind. And I was not.

That was something I had always secretly envied about him - his ability to make friends in the blink of an eye. With no more than a few words, Cody could have people calling him a friend. I stood alone in the kitchen, suffering through an awkward silence with Gandalf. I finished the drink in my hand and set the half-eaten plate on the counter, suddenly not feeling so hungry anymore.

I was _alone_ in this world.

"Don't be so glum, Miss Holly." Gandalf smiled kindly. "We may not know much at the moment, but there are those in Middle Earth who might know more."

"Do you know who I can ask for help?"

"I know a handful of those who have handled the oddities of our world better than others-" _A simple_ yes _would have been fine._ "-but they will not come to you."

"How far away are they?" I was dreading the answer as soon as Gandalf took a sip of wine - the whole glass - and fixed me with a curious, intense stare.

"I do not know. I don't even know if they _can_ help you." That was very comforting. I could feel my mood taking a turn but forced a smile back on my face. I wondered how convincing I was. "But it's your choice to make. You can chose to venture out and find help, or wait in the Shire for someone to stumble along and help you. Yes, I believe I did overhear one of the dwarves mention you staying here. But dwarves are a stubborn bunch, Miss Holly. Don't let them push you around and underestimate you."

Gandalf set his glass on the counter and his eyes suddenly brightened, smile lighting up his face.

"Oh, this is one of my favorite Khuzdul songs. You should come and listen," Gandalf said, holding out his enormous hand.

"Kuzd-what?"

I simply stood and looked at it for a moment. He wanted me to go into the dining room. I wasn't sure what to do for a moment - I _wanted_ to stay in the kitchen - but his hand was hanging in the air in front of me and I didn't think about it too long before I reached out and grabbed it. Well, grabbed a handful of palm, I guess. His fingers wrapped around my entire hand, engulfing my wrist and leading me out into the hallway with a gentle tug.

 _I could stay in the Shire._ Those words kept going through my head. _Warm fires, kind Hobbits, this place is beautiful. I could call it home one day._

The song the dwarves sang wasn't much of a song, as it was a drinking chant. The words completely flew over my head, though. It must have been some foreign language. Kuzd-whatever the wizard had said. I stood with Gandalf in the small opening to the absolutely cramped and crowded dining room and let go of Gandalf's hand. In a flash and with a loud scream, the entire company lifted their mugs of ale and began to chug. For once, a sort of silence filled the entire house and I wondered if somewhere Bilbo was letting out a sigh of relief.

There was a crashing sound as they all began to slam their mugs on the table, ale gushing down their beards; Dwalin first, then Oin, then Bombur...and then the burping started. _Did it even count as a 'win' if most of the drink didn't make it into their mouth?_

I couldn't help but smile as Gandalf leaned down and squeezed himself into the corner of the room, Ori letting out one of the loudest burps that had the rest of them laughing and slapping the tables with their large hands. I felt so out of place, standing there watching Cody finish his ale, squeezed tightly between Oin and Gloin. With his - Dwalin's spare - cloak wrapped tightly around his shoulders, he looked like he belonged (though with much shorter hair and only a little stubble). Gloin slapped Cody on the back when he coughed as the rest began to finish theirs and join in the burping and laughing and celebrating. I still couldn't tell what it that was being celebrated, here.

One of the dwarves seemed to notice me and raised their voice above the others, and I stood frozen in the hallway. God, this must be what deer feel like when a car comes their way, headlight blinding them to the oncoming danger.

"Come on now, don't be shy! There's plenty of room here for you too, Miss Hobbit." I think it was Dori who motioned to me.

"We'll have to bring in another chair-"

"Nonsense, Ori. She's tiny, she can fit here." Dori waved off Ori and grabbed the chair his brother was sitting on. _Tiny_ had never described me before, I was still getting over that when he took his chair in his other hand and scooted them together, making a makeshift bench as the rest of the company continued to laugh and sing.

With both Dori and Ori staring at me expectantly, I pushed past Gandalf - who had to move his knees to let me though - and behind a few other chairs. Two pairs of hands grabbed my shoulders - I splashed a bit of wine during this - and I can't stress enough how horrible it is to feel like a child among adults, joining them at the adult-table for the first time. I was sat down between Dori and Ori, a little too close on each side and a little uncomfortable because the two chairs I was on were different heights. I got as comfortable as I could and Ori set a splashing mug of ale in front of me, pushing my own glass out of the way. I don't think many other dwarves seemed to notice that I joined them, though, and for that I was very grateful. Two dwarves made me feel enough like a child.

So for a long while I just watched them all, sitting to the side and sipping the bitter ale and listening to their stories.

"So, Holly, you never told us where you are from. Your accent is quite interesting." That was Ori, politely turning his head and wiping some food from his beard.

I took a long sip of my drink, stalling for time when Gandalf swooped in.

"Across the waters, very far away, I'm afraid." Gandalf's voice was light and cheery, and smoke came out of his nose in a long stream. I had forgotten to ask the old wizard what I should tell the dwarves if they asked where I was from. I hadn't even thought about my own accent, though their own words and phrases hit me in a weird way. A few of the other dwarves began to smoke their pipes as well and soon the air in the dining room became fuzzy and thick.

"Seattle, didn't you say?" That was Balin, eavesdropping from the other side of the table. "Never heard of such a place."

"There are many places in this world we have not yet heard of," Gandalf countered with a smile to the oldest Dwarf.

Someone (Oin, I think) let out another loud burp and the contest for loudest began again.

Cody joined in, though his own burps were barely audible against the others around him. I smiled a bit and sipped my drink, looking across the large table at him. He was fitting in so well already, would he want to leave the dwarves so soon? I had a choice to stay in the Shire, but Cody didn't seem to see it in the same light that I did. He listened to the stories the others were telling him with an eager expression. He was _adventurous_ and this world suited him better than it did me.

"More ale!" someone screamed, and one of the chairs beneath me shifted. Ori immediately stood and wandered off into the hallway in search of more. _Didn't they go through two barrels already? How were none of them shit-faced yet?_

I noticed a quick movement out of the corner of my eye. Gandalf was waving me over to the corner, and I slid away from Dori and the others to take a seat beside the large wizard. Again, I was struck by how _huge_ he was! Were all wizards this big?

"I see doubt on your face." I eyed Gandalf a bit, but he simply watched the dwarves with a mildly interested expression, laughing a bit when one of them told a particularly _colorful_ story, and blowing wispy streams of smoke into the air. After a moment I crossed my arms.

"I am not doubting anything," I grumbled. He only chuckled in response and a large gray ring floated from him to the ceiling. I watched it float above the heads of the men until it faded, joining the murky air around us that smelled thick and stuffy, but not uninviting.

"You will prove to be very useful, I believe." I didn't quite know what to say to that, so I said nothing. "Thorin and many of the dwarves do not see it now, but in time they will see your worth." The name Thorin had been said many times by the dwarves around us, but I had yet to hear more about him other than his name. Did I have to prove any sort of worth to him as well?

"Will they?" _I'm just a hobbit to them._ I continued in a softer voice, making sure that even Dori or Balin - the closest to us - couldn't eavesdrop. "This is all...too much. We don't _have_ dragons and Ki-well, we do have Kings and Queens but things like this just don't happen. I'm not a fighter or a traveler or anything like that. _I work at Starbucks!_ " His brows furrowed at that, eyes still watching the dwarves, and I realized only after the words left my mouth that he didn't know what Starbucks was. "I don't want to go if I will just be in the way or get someone hurt."

Gandalf made a noise and I looked to him, tearing my eyes away from the shuffling dwarves and the irritated Bilbo who had wandered back to cheers and raised mugs. Gandalf took a slow breath.

"I am not wrong about people, Miss Holly. My first impressions never fail me." He gave me an unimpressed look when I quirked an eyebrow. _How could anybody be so sure?_ "In time, even _you_ will see your worth in this world. I do not believe you and your friend were brought here by chance."

"So you _do_ have a theory, then? Do you know why we're here?"

"I have many theories. But no, I do not know with any sort of certainty above pure speculation."

"Of course." I felt my shoulders sink at that.

"But, I do know that this world could hold answers for you. Sitting here in the Shire may be a comfortable life, if you would prefer to stay. _Yes_ , you do have a choice," he added, tilting his head down to me. "But answers don't come to those who sit and wait about for them. They are there for _you_ to find. I believe that, if you can, traveling with Thorin and these fine dwarves will get you much closer to what you are looking for."

"Who's Thorin?" I asked, apparently too loudly because Balin's head turned to us as three loud, slow knocks echoed around the house. The dwarves around us fell silent, the singing stopped, and ale that was halfway to mouths dropped slowly back to the table.

"That'd be him," Balin said, leaping to his feet and disappearing to the front door.


	6. I Did Not Try To Stab Balin

The silence was quite impressive after Balin left to invite Thorin into the house. Bilbo stood just outside the impromptu dining room, eyes fixed on something I couldn't see and Gandalf looked down at me with a calming smile. The front door shut with a loud slam and everyone sat still and waited, food and drinks and songs forgotten until a shadow appeared over the table.

I couldn't see him from my spot in the corner but I watched the faces of the dwarves around the table. They erupted into shouts of greetings, calling out and slapping his shoulders and pulling him into the room to sit at the head of the table. Still, I couldn't see him from around Gandalf, but soon the noises died down and I could hear Balin telling Thorin of their own journey to the Shire.

He made small comments and questioned parts of Balin's story, his voice was deeper than most, but not quite as rough as Dwalin's. Whenever he spoke, the others fell silent and I was quite taken aback. Such a loud and obnoxious group brought to complete silence by this _one_ person.

"I don't believe you are part of our company," Thorin said, and by the look on Cody's face - a bit like how I felt when Dori and Ori were staring at me - I knew he was talking to him. He opened his mouth but shut it again quickly, turning to the dwarves around him but none of them offered an explanation for him.

"Well, yes, that's another part of our travels," Balin said with a slightly nervous laugh that put me on edge. Should _we_ be nervous? "In the mountains just east of Bree, we came across these two, stranded and without supplies."

"There's another?"

"Yes, there." I wanted to shoot Balin a look that said 'don't you dare point me out' but it was too late, and suddenly Gandalf was shifting in his seat until he sat clear into the corner and without a chair - still a bit taller than the rest of us - and now I was exposed to Thorin. He sat just a few feet away with a pipe hanging from one side of his mouth. His large coat was lined with fur and he had dark thick hair falling over his shoulders and tangling with his beard. It looked more like a dark lion's mane to me, and I could finally put a face to the name I had heard the dwarves talking about.

He turned to look at me...not even that much, just a tip of his head.

"Hello." Everyone around him had greeted him with kind phrases and loud, booming voices. To myself, I sounded like a squeaking mouse amongst cats.

Thorin turned back to Balin with a look I couldn't explain, but I didn't quite like.

"You found a dwarf and a hobbit in the mountains?" Balin didn't answer and instead shrugged. Thorin turned to Cody and spoke to him over the rim of his mug, taking a long sip and eying the odd - frankly, bizarre - looking dwarf sitting among the rest of them. "What brought you to this area? And in such...unique attire." At this, Thorin glanced down at the bit of Cody's shirt that was showing over the table. Too tight, long sleeved and the words ' _Fall Out Boy'_ large and bold across his chest.

I sank a little deeper into my own chair. My shirt and jacket were plain, but my jeans would no doubt stand out against the clothes of the other dwarves . I could feel my face heating up a bit but thankfully Thorin's attention was still on Cody, thick eyebrows raised as he waited for an answer.

"They are lost," Gandalf cut in, and I swear I saw Cody wipe a bead of sweat off his forehead. "We do not quite know where they are from, and they do not quite know where they are." Thorin turned to glance at Gandalf in the same way he had looked at me; he didn't seem impressed with the old wizard's vague descriptions.

"We couldn't just leave them in the mountains," Balin cut in, his voice happier than the grim voice of Thorin. "They were both sick-"

"But if she had her way, we would have left them alone," Kili cut in with a loud, barking laugh. "She took a good swipe at Balin with a knife and Fili had to hold her back so we could get a look at him and see if he was alright." He nodded over to me and if I wasn't melting into my chair at _one_ pair of eyes on me then I definitely was when almost _all_ of them turned to me, most laughing and Ori leaning over to slap my shoulder.

"You tried to stab Balin?" Thorin asked, and for the first time he looked a little amused. Was that good or bad? He didn't seem worried about me attacking one of his own people; was that confidence in his own men's defenses or a lack in my attack? My mind was whirling with trying to figure that out and trying to _ignore_ the eyes that were watching as I failed to respond quite miserably.

"Well, uh, not really _stab_ , actually-"

"She had a little knife. It's actually quite interesting." That was Kili, again, and I turned to give him a look normally reserved for Cody when he was at his worst. The 'shut your trap you loud-mouthed ass' look. He only grinned back cheekily. "It folds up when she's not using it so it doesn't even need a sheath. I've never seen one like it before."

"Well, let's have a look at this weapon of yours," Thorin said, and I scrambled for a moment to get the knife out of my back pocket. I place it on the table with a shaky hand and to my own horror, the entire table erupted into laughter.

Okay, so it wasn't a huge knife. It wasn't _meant_ to be huge, that's why they call it a _pocket-knife_ and not a sword.

"How does it fold out?" Thorin asked and once more, the ever-talkative Kili - damn you Kili, seriously, _damn you_ \- piped up once more.

"Here, I've seen her do it a few times. I bet I can figure it out."

"Five gold says you can't," Fili shouted competitively, grinning at his brother from across the table and the entire room broke out into more yelling and screaming as bets were placed. I glanced over to get a better look at Thorin and sitting at the head of the table with large fur coats and hair like a mane, he did look like the leader of the pack. And with how _quickly_ the dwarves were silenced by his voice alone said more than his appearance did.

"Alright." He paused for a moment while bets were settled and the room went quiet. "Give it a go, Kili."

His dark eyes turned to me and with a jump I realized that the knife was still in front of me on the table. I grabbed it and slid it down to Kili, who caught it quickly and picked it up, looking over the handle.

"That'll be five gold, little brother." Fili laughed, but was hushed by the others around him - most of whom, probably bet that Kili _could_ figure it out.

"Give me a second. I can have a _moment_ to look at this," Kili muttered, flipping the knife over in his palm. "Let's see, I closed it like this..." He found where the small bit of blade was exposed and pinched it, trying to pull the blade free. I grinned a little at this. The knife looked positively _tiny_ in his large hands and he was fumbling around with it like a child, despite the fact that he had several of his own weapons discarded somewhere near the front door.

He tried to tug the blade out and flip the knife over in his hand again, eyebrows drawn together.

"He can't open it!" Dwalin screamed, and with a huff Kili let the knife fall back to the table and the rest of the dwarves began yelling again. A few coins were tossed into the air and caught by those who won bets.

"You open it, then," Kili shouted over the booming voices in the room and slid it back down the table past Dori and Ori. I grabbed it and pushed the blade further in, then tugged it out. It came free and the dirty little knife that had definitely seen better days was on the table for everyone to see. Kili frowned but the rest of the table grew even louder, if that was possible. I almost expected Thorin to quiet them down like he had before, but when I turned to look at him I was a little startled.

In his chair Bilbo sat with his hands folded in his lap, watching with worried eyes as a few dwarves left the room, their boots scraping on the floor and everyone now talking about more ale. Thorin - and Gandalf, for that matter - had disappeared.

I had a few more questions for Gandalf, and now that the room's attention was on how loud Oin and Gloin could burp ( _without chugging ale_ , that's an important detail, I suppose) I slipped out of my chair and left the room.

Now that I was in the hallway the voices were muffled and died down the further I moved into the hill. I had barely realized how warm the house had become until an icy cold breeze had goose bumps racing up my arms. The room I had just passed with a large arching doorway had a small oval window open just a crack.

I stepped into the room to close it - I swear, that's all I meant to do - when I heard some voices drifting in from outside. Those deep voices were familiar, Gandalf and Thorin had definitely stepped out into the hillside, but I had to be standing just beside the window before I could make out anything they said.

A particularly loud set of screams and cheers made it impossible to hear - Nori and Dori must have found more ale - but when they quieted down again I leaned closer to the window. I couldn't tell where they were but I kept myself as close to the wall as possible in case they be right outside.

"I wanted fourteen, not _sixteen_. I requested one more to join us to the mountain-"

"You requested a burglar, Master Dwarf," Gandalf cut Thorin off. There was a slight shuffle before the wizard continued in an annoyed voice. "Those were your words, not mine. Now I decided on Mister Baggins quite some time ago. He is to be your burglar but now it appears he does not want to go on this journey."

A burglar? Bilbo? I glanced over my shoulder and into the hallway but the voices behind me, singing and screaming and chanting, were still muffled and far away. That hobbit that seemed so frightened of the larger men - I don't really blame him, though - and who stammered and sputtered and was so protective of his possessions couldn't _possibly_ be a thief.

"It doesn't seem like everything was explained to him before we arrived."

"He's a Took-" I had no idea what that was or why it would make a difference in Bilbo being a burglar, "-he will come, even if he doesn't know it yet. However, I now believe I have some...insurance for you."

"You mean the she-hobbit. She's your insurance?" Thorin didn't sound too impressed- _Hey!_ That's _me_ they're talking about! Me being insurance?

"Of a sort. That dwarf would no doubt be of use to you as well with a little training. Would you turn your back on your own kind when he is merely looking for a home? Your tale and his don't seem to be that far off, Master Dwarf." That last bit was said firmly, and I could clearly imagine that huge gray wizard towering over Thorin with a pointed look. I wondered if he would feel that same sense of vulnerability as I had back in Bilbo's kitchen.

"I will speak with Balin," Thorin said, his voice a little further away and I almost didn't catch his words. "We will decide tonight whether we will take the other two."

"Thorin Oakensheild, King under the Mountain, cannot make this decision himself?" Gandalf sounded like he could be laughing at Thorin, but I was taken aback by that last title. _King?_

"What are you doing?" A shadow fell over the window and I hadn't jumped that high in a long time. My heart thundered in my chest, only beginning to settle down when I turned to see Cody's large figure filling up half the doorway, leaning against the side with his arms crossed. "Eavesdropping?"

He grinned and leaped into the room, rushing toward the window I was standing next to and I moved forward, waving my arms so he would keep his damn voice down. That also appeared to be a common theme amongst most of the dwarves. They are loud!

"Shut up and _move_!" I grabbed his elbow and dragged him from the room, stomach sinking a bit because _what if_ they had known someone was listening to them? And how easy would it be for them to figure out that it had been me? "Just go, no! Keep going. This way!" I pushed and pulled Cody down the hallways, not really caring which way we went I just wanted to get away from that room and away from the front door.

"Who's out there?" Cody asked, ripping his arm from my hands and folded them across his chest once more. "I want to know what's got my Holly-kinsies all spooked."

"Do _not_ call me that," I growled out. He simply grinned a bit, but didn't continue to spew out cutesy nicknames.

"Fine, who's out there?"

"No one."

"Oh, it was definitely someone."

"No it wasn't," I shot back shortly, reaching for a mug on the counter because I _really_ didn't want to deal with staring at Cody and his green eyes watching my every twitch and tick. It was only half-full but I swished the ale around in it for something to focus on. "I was listening to the wind."

"It's not windy out." His answer was quick, and I tried to calm myself before sending a cool reply back.

"There's a bit of a breeze."

"Bullshit."

"It doesn't matter," I hissed, keeping my voice low at his pointed look. He was not going to let this go but I wanted him to desperately. He did not need to know that I was some sort of _insurance policy_ in some grand scheme to make Bilbo a burglar, or keep him a burglar, or hire...I really don't know!

"Yes it does!"

"No it doesn't! Why do you have to be so pushy!"

"Who's pushy?" Gandalf's large figure stepped into the kitchen, and this time Cody was the one to jump. He stood awkwardly in such a small cramped space and fixed the two of us with a look I was growing more and more accustomed to as I spent time around the wizard. I had been caught. Or, at least, _one_ of us at been caught.

"No one," Cody answered quickly and I hid my grin by sipping out of the mug of ale still in my hand. Gandalf turned his focus to Cody, not looking too impressed and when he quickly turned to me - eyes wide and pleading - I let the _pushy_ bugger get whatever scolding he deserved.

"Oh, this song sounds fun," I muttered, stepping around Gandalf when the dwarves let out a particularly loud howl of laughter - there _was_ a bit of song I could still hear under the noise - and slipped out of the kitchen.

No doubt, I would be paying for that later.

But now, I thought with a grin and another sip of ale, I would wander the halls of the hobbit-hole under the hill.

* * *

I had only been allowed a few minutes to walk around Bilbo's house before I had been spotted. This time by Oin, a particularly elderly dwarf with frizzy gray hair who had been limping down the hallway toward me. He held an insane amount of cups in his arms and with a nod and an odd grunt that someone sounded like a slurred 'come on', I followed him back to where the dwarves had set up their little camp.

There was no more singing or screaming or chanting coming from the room, but I hadn't remembered ever hearing it die down since leaving the kitchen. It had been a constant throughout the entire hill, and I had no doubt poor Bilbo would be getting some nasty looks from his neighbors the next morning.

I followed Oin into the room and was quite surprised to see Gandalf sitting in the corner once more, along with Thorin at the head of the table and Cody seated back amongst the dwarves. As Oin passed out a few of the cups and took his own seat beside his brother, Nori moved to make a spot for me and I squeezed between him and Dori.

The mood had clearly shifted from the lighthearted celebration before, and I grew uncomfortable while Balin and Thorin whispered to each other.

"Right," Balin started, shooting Thorin one last unsure look before addressing everybody else in the room. "Our original intention was to bring Bilbo Baggins along as our burglar, making our group of thirteen, fourteen. Unfortunately it does not look like he will be joining us." There was just a bit of grumbling, but when Balin raised his hand to shush them they eventually went silent again. "That's alright, that's alright. In his place, I would like to extend an invitation to the two of you."

I had expected more muffled grumblings when Balin paused but there were none. When I glanced up again my face burned up. Many of the dwarves were looking to Cody, but many were also looking at _me._

 _'The two of you'_. The two of us. They wanted _us_ to join them.

"I'm sorry." I couldn't keep the stammer out of my voice. "I don't really know what it is you're inviting us on."

"Ah, well," Balin muttered, patting the pockets down on his coat until he found what he was after. He pulled out a tattered looking piece of paper and began unfolding it. I couldn't tell what it was until he smoothed it out on the table before him and pushed it to the center of the table.

"Bilbo, would you grab us some light, please?" Gandalf asked and it wasn't until then that I noticed Bilbo standing just at the edge of the door, curly hair barely visible from where I was sitting. It disappeared immediately and after a moment he returned with a lamp.

"There we go, thank you." Balin smiled kindly and took the lamp. Bilbo nodded and stepped back to the door, but lingered, his eyes curiously peering over Thorin's shoulder at the map.

"This is us, right here." Thorin tapped his finger on something in the west, and a small, neat script read _'The Shire'_ over a drawing of small hills. To the east was larger, sharper looking mountains with large letters, _'Bree',_ beside them. This world was so strange and different I couldn't possibly take in all the names and locations, but I could try. "Here is the Lonely Mountain," he said, voice calm as his finger slid far across the map to the east. In the middle of what looked like an massive forest, a single mountain was drawn, tall and higher than any of the ranges around it. "Erebor, our home. Many of us used to live there, though Kili and Fili were far too young to remember the Kingdom."

"We need to travel there and take it back." Balin clapped his hands together and smiled around the table. _Take back a mountain. Easy-peasy._

"Take it back? Who's got it now?" Cody asked and there was a bit of shuffling while the dwarves looked to each other, and when I looked back down to the map I noticed another odd drawing just above the mountain.

"What's that?" I asked, tilting my head to see it at the proper angle.

I felt my stomach flip and turn before Dwalin's impossibly deep voice answered, "Smaug. A dragon."

If it wasn't enough that this place had wizards and dwarves and hobbits...it now had _dragons._ I gulped, not wanted to ask if the drawing was to scale because I _really_ didn't want to know.

"So, we're all going to be battling a dragon to take your home back?" Cody asked, grin impossibly huge as the dwarves let out a loud cheer of excitement, fists raised and feet smashing against the floor. "Oh, I am _so_ in," Cody cried out, laugh booming over the cheers as many of the dwarves around him rose to their feet to slap his shoulder and shake his hand.

"Wonderful!" Balin yelled out with a clap, reaching back into his coat and unfolding a long, _long_ piece of tattered and yellowed paper. "This is a contract. Well, it's meant for one to sign, but I suppose we can make an adjustment..." Balin trailed off, scooting his chair back and letting the piece of paper unfold on it's own as he dragged it behind him out and into the hallway.

Bilbo stepped to the side and watched Balin with his mouth opening and closing a bit like a fish until he came back with a feather pen and small jar of ink in his hands.

"Here we go." Balin took his seat again and passed everything over to Ori, who's hand flew over the paper so fast I had no time to every _try_ and figure out what he was doing.

I turned to Cody but I didn't even know what to say to him. He _wanted_ to go on this journey, to follow these strange people across an entire _map_ and to fight a dragon out of a mountain. They all cheered over the thought of going and doing this and Cody joined right in. He looked like he just _belonged_ and in a way, he already did. Grinning, Cody glanced over the paper that was passed into his hands and took the feathered pen, scribbling his name at the bottom.

In an uproar, everyone around the table let out cheers of congratulations and welcome and both Dori and Nori accidentally knocked me on the head with their elbows as they rose up. Everyone was so damn _excited_ to be going and for Cody to be going along with them, but Gandalf's words rang through my mind like a bell. I _could_ stay in the Shire; I had a choice. The rolling hills and deep green grass and leafy trees just screamed 'welcome home' to me. I could stay and easily live happily ever after here, even if it wasn't Seattle.

It wasn't _home,_ but I could make it one.

I didn't even notice when Dori placed the paper in front of me on the table. My eyes were fixed on the pocketknife in my lap and my thoughts were far away. They were on home and work and family and friends when someone coughed beside me and my attention was jerked back to the Shire. To the contract with Cody's name scribbling in his horribly cramped handwriting. To the room filled with dwarves and a wizard and a Hobbit, all looking at me with such _expectation_.

I cleared my throat a bit, my stomach did a little flip and for a second I thought I would throw up all over the contract. I was _terrified_ of the idea of this journey. I could die. I always run to hills when anything like this comes my way, I am not one of those people who runs into the burning building to save others. There weren't even _lives_ at stake now, just an old mountain.

My heart was pounding in my chest.

I reached forward with a shaky hand and grabbed the feathered pen, and the uproar began even before I could finish spelling my name. I was, quite literally, signing my life away to these people on a gut feeling.

_Holly Marie Morgan._


	7. Sweet Little Pony, My Ass

I watched Balin place another contract on the arm of Bilbo's favorite chair with extreme care. Bilbo hadn't come out of his room at all since the dwarves had woken up and began cleaning hours before the sun would rise. I had been a little disappointed; it had been interesting to watch him race after the group the night before and I was sure that it would be just as much fun watching him fuss over everything in the morning. Or maybe he would have been stunned into silence, as I had been. The sun was just now starting to rise, and still there was no sign of Bilbo under the hill.

I was a little disappointed that he hadn't gotten up to see us off. I wanted to at least say goodbye or something. The first of my own kind - and the first _gentleman_ \- that I had met in this place. But now I was part of the group of dwarves, the Company of Thorin Oakenshield, and that became official the moment I signed that contract with Cody. And Bilbo had made his feelings clear on this particular bunch of rowdy dwarves.

I stood at the front door with Gandalf and Cody, the three of us not having many belongings to gather up. I had secured the cloak around my neck and grabbed the edges, pulling it tighter around me to hide my clothes.

The rest of the Company was putting swords on their belts and axes across their backs, hiding various knives and even smaller weapons up their sleeves and in their shoes. I think I was finally over the shock of the sheer _volume_ of weapons these men carried...but the axe strapped to Dwalin's back still made me a little wary.

"Do you really think he'll come?" I asked Gandalf. Everyone was almost ready to go and the small home under the hillside had been cleaned spotless. If he wanted to join us, it was now or never.

"I do," Gandalf answered firmly, opening the front door and bending low to step out into the cool morning. His staff was beside the front door, leaning against the grassy wall of Bilbo's house and he grabbed it, using it as a walking stick while everyone filed out of the house after him. I glanced back as Cody stepped out, making up the rear of the Company. Bilbo's house was left spotless, just as it was before we arrived. Clean. Tidy. Perfect. I had seen Kili and Fili move his furniture back to their original spots but someone had also moped up the floor, cleaned the area where all the weapons had been piled and straightened up everything that had been ransacked or pushed off to the side.

The front room was quiet and calm; welcoming and cheerful. I felt another pang of longing to stay in the Shire and enjoy this place. But I had signed that contract, the one currently stuffed into the back pocket of my jeans, and with a sigh I stepped outside and closed the large green door behind me and followed the line of dwarves. I walked behind Cody, weaving around the hillside, holding the cloak tight around my shoulders to keep the chilly morning air from getting to me. The grass was wet with dew under my feet but that soon turned back to dirt - thankfully, not mud! - as we went back through the Shire the way we came. It wasn't long before we passed the small sign tucked away into the grass, tilted just a little off center.

It was a little different traveling with so many other people. I could hear faint chuckling and chattering from up ahead, but they were far too ahead of us to hear what they were talking about. There was just a general...cheeriness about the group that hadn't been there when it was just the six of us.

Fifteen. That didn't sound like much but each dwarf was walking single file and when I was at the top of a small hillside I could look down and see all the braids and weapons and shaking shoulders as a few of them shared jokes and stories. I brought up the end of the group, turning back to take a final glance at the Shire.

Would there be any other places like this, or would it all be like the mountains where me and Cody were found? Cold, empty, creepy...if _that_ was what I had to look forward to until we got rid of a dragon, I was seriously rethinking my involvement in this. And my thoughts didn't exactly lighten up when I thought about that dragon. A _dragon_. Breathing fire and hooks like spears and teeth like a sharks. How does someone even go about fighting one? About _killing_ one?

I had been so lost in thought when the group came to a stop that I walked straight into Cody's back.

"What's going on?" I asked, craning my neck to see over his shoulder. I couldn't see a thing, of course. I would have been able to if I was my normal height and he, his...but I couldn't see squat from here.

"We get ponies." Cody did his little happy-hop-skip and clapped his hands, looking like the happiest little girl on Christmas morning who actually got a pony from Santa Clause after a year of misbehaving.

"Ponies?" I asked, not quite sure if he was awake enough to know what he was talking about but as soon as Cody raced forward I heard a few of them snort and huff and I finally saw them. Those were not ponies, they were _horses_. Full sized and tied to one of the last fences in the Shire with large packs thrown over their backs. I had no idea how many there were, but the dwarves each seemed to claim one, throwing their belongings over the backs and easily hopping onto them.

"Move the food over to this one." Thorin's voice carried over the noise of the dwarves as everyone picked a pony and saddled up. Balin and Dwalin were grabbing some packs and shuffling them around - one of the poor ponies looked like it wanted to take a bite out of Balin's beard when the older dwarf threw a heavy looking bag over it's butt.

"This'll be yours," Bofur said, and I realized with a start that he was talking to me and pointing over to a smaller looking gray pony. Oh, of course, give the _H_ _obbit_ the tiny pony. "You'll have to ride along with the pots and pans, I hope you don't mind." He grinned, untied the pony's reins and brought it over, giving it's neck a pat. "Here you go."

And with that, I was left to stare up at my pony with reins in my hands and absolutely no idea what to do next. It had several bits of rope over it's back, tying on all the cookware in place. It stared back at me and I wondered if it was as confused as I was. I would probably be puzzled in it's place, with noisy things tied to my back and odd people climbing around on all my friends. The pony shifted and made a surprising amount of noise and I jumped back.

By now most of the dwarves were on their own ponies, and I felt more and more like an idiot. How do I even get on one of these things? It didn't have a saddle like the others did, I noticed, and it was quite a jump from the ground to it's back, even if it _was_ one of the shorter ones.

"Darle's a sweetie, don't be shy." That was Bombur and before I had even gotten a glimpse of him, hands were on my waist and I was tossed into the air, falling quite clumsily with one leg on either side of the pony and a pan's handle in a quite uncomfortable spot under a butt cheek. I clung to Darle's gray mane, frozen in place and I couldn't _un-_ freeze even when I realized that Bombur had actually _helped_ me. Although that chuckle made me think he knew I would make a noise akin to a squirrel being catapulted into the air. It's hair - or is it fur? - was coarse but long and with one hand gripping the reins for dear life my other was buried in it's mane, tightening with every shift the pony made.

And that was the first time I had ever ridden a pony. Shocking, right? I, clearly, was a natural. (Sarcasm at it's finest.)

As quickly as we had stopped to get the ponies, the group began to file back onto the path. I felt even more awkward now, sitting on my pony with a pan's handle under my butt and Bifur fixing me a weird stare from his own, dark horse.

He let out a loud yell, something that sounded like 'ba-haa-gloo' and he kicked his pony into a walk.

And here I was, all alone in the Shire while the butts of the pony's ahead of me got smaller and smaller.

"Okay, Darle, let's go." I winced and grabbed her mane tighter, eyes squinted shut because I was sure she would take off like a rocket once I kicked her sides. No. Instead, she just shifted from hoof to hoof and...just _stood_. "This isn't cute, you know." I scolded, but that didn't seem to help much. _"Go!"_

Either that was the magic word or she didn't quite like the way I was accidentally pulling on her mane. She took off like a bullet, _much_ faster than I had expected and so much rougher! With each quick step I was left flying through the air, and let me tell you I was really starting to think I should just grab that pan under my butt and throw it behind us...food be damned because it was really starting to hurt.

"Stop! Stop stop stop stop stop!"

I could hear Bifur and a few others laughing as my ' _sweetie_ ' of a pony came racing up the path and skidded to a stop right before it would have run into the pony in front of us. God! Finally! Finally she just _walked_ , which was all I wanted in the first place. A normal, comfortable, _walk_ that didn't have me nearly falling off with every jolting leap. After a moment or two, I finally felt comfortable enough to let go of her mane - eww, my hand was all sweaty - and just hold onto the reins, rough like old leather in my grasp.

"Wait! Hold on!" I could hear someone yelling over the group, but Bombur let out a bellow of a laugh from ahead and I couldn't hear what anyone said next. I tried to turn and look behind us, but twisting on a pony is not as easy as it looks - even though everyone ahead of me made it look like a piece of cake.

Before I could get the _sweetie_ Darle to turn around so I could see who was behind us, Bilbo came flying past us and my gray pony gave a little jump which gave _me_ a fucking heart attack! That's it, back to clutching her mane for dear life, it is. Have it your way, you jumpy _cow_.

"I've signed it! I've signed it!" Bilbo was screaming and I noticed he had a piece of paper trailing behind him, waving in the air until he disappeared up the trail and I lost sight of him.

But he was _here,_ and with a large pack on his back so that meant he was here to _stay_. And he signed the contract that Cody and I had signed earlier. I really couldn't help but smile. I wouldn't be the only Hobbit on this journey, meaning - putting Cody aside - I wouldn't be alone. In the height department, at the very least.

I couldn't hear what everyone was saying up there, but I could hear the command Thorin yelled back at us and the ponies continued on, single-file down the path. There was a squeak - hey, I'm not the only one! - and I can only assume that one of the dwarves grabbed him in the same man-handley way that I had been grabbed, and thrown onto his own pony.

"Don't you feel like a pirate?" Cody called back, only separated by Bifur, who didn't respond at all. Could he even understand us? Because I couldn't understand him.

"A pirate?" I called out, unsure if I had heard him correctly. I definitely didn't feel like a pirate. Bruised butt and feet bare and the only thing for warmth other than my thin jacket being a borrowed cloak with mud caked on the bottom. No, nothing about this felt like a _pirate_ to me.

"Yeah, come on! There's a map, we're going on a quest, there's ponies-"

"I wasn't aware that all pirates rode ponies," I yelled out, cutting him off.

"Only the awesome ones," he shouted with a laugh. "I bet if Johnny Depp could ride a pony he would."

"He would need a horse, not a pony, idiot!"

I could see Cody's hand waving me off in the air over Bifur's shoulder and for a long time we just walked. Well, we all sat while our ponies walked. I was beginning to feel a little bad for Darle, despite the fact that she was an irritating little pony that no doubt left a handle-shaped bruise on my butt from her first little stunt. The dwarves ahead of us all carried bags and large packs and heavy weapons, but Darle carried both me and all of the cookware. _All_ of the cookware...for _sixteen_ people, now. I felt uncomfortable sitting on a pan but I'm sure Darle wasn't exactly in heaven, waddling around with all of this on her back.

I leaned forward just a tiny bit to pat her neck and maybe to make a bit of peace with her, but her head jolted up sharply and she let out a loud snap. A _snap!_ Was that her _snapping_ at me? Yep, definitely no peace between Hobbit and pony, here. I jumped a bit and leaned back. I would have to make sure to keep as _far_ from Darle's _snappy_ teeth as possible...and maybe trade her for a different pony when we stopped for a bit.

Little did I know that our break wouldn't come for hours and _hours_. And let me tell you, hours and hours don't exactly fly by when all you're doing is sitting on a pony that doesn't even like you, staring at the back of Bifur. I did think more about home during that first day of traveling, about friends and family and my house and my cat. I had been meaning to paint my bedroom in a week or so when I got paid and had even picked out a pretty lavender color...I think the chips were still on my kitchen counter somewhere. It would have been a small task, but I was looking forward to it for weeks just to get rid of that God-awful pasty mucus green.

I missed everything I used to hate in that horrible gut-wrenching heart-sinking feeling of homesickness. Even my bus ride to work sitting next to the man in the suit with a disgusting amount of cologne on was starting to sound nice because it would mean I was _home._

I eventually had to push all of those longing thoughts of home as far from my mind as possible, because it was really getting depressing how much I missed all the stuff I used to hate. Cleaning Bean's litter box, being my brother's designated driver, dinner with my grandparents...and _not_ the ones I liked. It was sad, really. I couldn't completely rid the thoughts from my mind, but I tried harder to focus on the task at hand. We would travel with Gandalf and the Company and hopefully come across someone who knew about our situation, someone who could help us get back.

Ahh, that was it. If I focused on feeling determined to get home I felt less like crying and more like kicking little Darle into high-gear to get there faster. Well, okay, no kicking the pony into a run. That would be a disaster waiting to happen.

We climbed a few rolling hills, crossed a stream and also _that_ river that - I shudder just thinking about it - I had been carried across. Water splashed up at my feet and legs, threatening to soak my jeans again and I quickly brought my feet up, balancing horribly on Darle's back with my legs up onto her shoulders. None of the pony-ride into the wilderness was pleasant but we kept going, making no move to stop or take a break longer than for a quick pee in the bushes as I followed the line of dwarves ahead of me.

At one point I was sure I had fallen asleep, driven to snoozing by the sway of the pony under me and the gentle breeze that was slowly warming up as the sun climbed higher in the sky. I even stopped clutching at the cloak around me and let the edges fall to my sides. Sure, my jacket and jeans were revealed now, but everyone's back was to me so I didn't feel as exposed as I had in Bilbo's house the night before.

I jolted awake - or at least awake from whatever half-doze I had been in for who knows how long - to the ponies slowly climbing higher and higher. I had to grab onto Darle's reins as we moved up a steep hill, working our way side to side as we zig-zagged along this narrow path. The pots and pans clanged on her back and with a particularly nasty jolt I grit my teeth because that pan's handle was now going to leave a horribly shaped purple mark smack on my bum. We were taking a different route back, I noticed once I got my breath back from that bump. None of this looked familiar at all.

Tall trees surrounded the path, and while they weren't so close together that I couldn't make out anything past the trunks and branches, I couldn't see any mountain over the tops. I only assumed that we were going around the mountain, but when I leaned forward just a tiny bit to ask Cody what he thought, Darle's head snapped up sharply and I jumped back.

So I sat back, gave Darle a little glare, and just _sat._

And _god_ was it getting old to just sit! I had heard a few stories from my friends who had traveled across the country and I suppose this would be the equivalent of them telling me everything second by second. From them standing in line after line at the airport to them sitting for hours and hours on the plane to them waiting in line to rent a fucking car. Bo-ring!

The sun had gone up well into the sky and I tried to keep busy by guessing the time based on the sun's location, but after a few minutes even _that_ got boring and I was clearly no good at it. I was so bored of being bored.

Finally, _finally_ we came to a stop after a particularly rough little bought of climbing and zigzagging our way up a hill. At some point on our trip everyone ahead of me had fallen silent, the only sound being the noises from the ponies - Darle being a particularly fussy one - and the occasional grunt of a dwarf or an outcry from Bifur which I _still_ couldn't understand.

I could hear a few voices ahead of us and now that we weren't on such a narrow path everyone gathered together and started to get off their ponies.

That was another problem I hadn't foreseen. If I couldn't get _on_ the pony, how was I supposed to get _off_?

"Need help?" Cody asked, walking up to me with his own dark-colored pony following obediently behind him.

I made a point not to look at him because I knew he was grinning like a maniac.

"No, I'm fine." I sniffed, picking at the old leather in my hands.

"Really? Because someone had to throw you on her in the first place-" He seemed to have the same train of thought as me and stepped closer, letting the reins in his hands drop. Oh _hell_ no! "-it seems like the only way to get you down is to pull you off."

"Don't you _dare_!" Too late. Cody leaped forward before I could effectively kick him away. He caught my ankle and with a loud crash of pots and pans and _me_ , everything came tumbling off of Darle's back and onto the grass. That damn pan handle was now jabbing into my back and I quickly scrambled up and kicked it away, furious as Cody took a few steps back and grabbed the reins of his own pony and skipped away.

"You bitch! He pulled me down!" I yelled, turning to Bofur when I noticed Cody was too far to hear me.

"I'll show you how to get on and off bareback tomorrow, but for now this little lady needs to go graze." Bofur grabbed the reins of that "little lady", who I swear to God enjoyed having me dragged down off of her, and lead a few of the ponies to a patch of grass just a little ways off from where everyone was gathering. Bombur and Bifur came over and gathered up the mess of pots and pans and I grabbed a few as well, feeling a little bad that all of their stuff was just getting tossed around.

Bombur just shrugged off my apology and Bifur made a bizarre gesture with his hand, holding a few bowls under his other arm. It almost looked like he was flipping me off but he was grinning ear to ear and sharply turned to follow Bombur. I stood, bewildered and my butt more than a little sore after sitting on something as uncomfortable as a pan on a pony's back. But then I noticed that Oin and Gloin were building a fire near a stone wall, far away enough from the cliff's edge that none of us would be rolling off in the middle of the night, and I joined them, trying to walk off a bit of the stiffness in my legs.

"Soup for dinner, tonight!" Bombur yelled out, pulling several packages from a bag and placing everything next to the growing fire. A few of the others muttered back to him as he busied himself with the meal and I smiled a bit; I should have guessed that Bombur would be the cook. He clearly had a thing for food, as I remembered from both the Inn in Bree and at Bilbo's house.

And when my stomach let out a particularly loud whine, I remembered that I did too...not that I ever forgot that little detail. All my anxiety about being homesick and thrown onto a horse that hated me and setting off from a place that felt like it could have been a home was gone and it felt like I was coming down from an adrenaline rush. My arms and legs felt achy and even though I knew I was hungry, something like a switch flipped and I thought for just a moment I might be sick.

I started to breath slowly, in through my nose and out through my mouth, and found the fresh scents of the forest to be more soothing than I had expected. The feeling passed within a minute.

There were a few scrawny bushes that lined the cliff's edge and beyond that I could see the rolling hills and patches of trees past the mountains. There wasn't a light in sight, aside from the deep orange of the setting sun, of course. No houses, no towns, no nothing. We were out in the wilderness. Alone. And who knew how long it would be until we came to another town? I hadn't taken a very good look at the map last night but aside from some mountains and a few words, it didn't look like this place was extremely populated.

"We can set up a few blankets for you over here," Balin said, passing by me with a heaping pile of blankets in his arms. I followed the older dwarf, weaving around the others to the stone wall and hopping over the pile of food Bombur had laid out before the fire. Unlike at Bilbo's house, there was no designated pile for the larger weapons. Everyone who was settling down with a blanket and a pack to mark their spot had their knives, swords, or axes laying right next to them, no more than a few inches away.

I had no idea what was out there and what would be crawling around the mountains at night, but I decided with a gulp that if everyone was essentially sleeping with a gun under their pillow, we weren't alone out here. This world had Hobbits, dwarves, dragons...I shuddered to think of what sort of creepy crawly things would be coming out of the woodwork once the sun was fully down.

I patted my jeans, finding my pocket knife snug in my front pocket and I felt a little bit better just knowing it was there.


	8. Bombur Got His Pot, So It's Alright

"I'm so hungry!" Cody cried out, his dark cloak wrapped around his shoulders even though he didn't seem as bothered by the chilly air as I was. He had been pouting and groaning and moaning ever since the smell of food began to draw most of the dwarves to the fire. I had attempted to take a nap on my own bundle of blankets, but that uneasy feeling had never completely left my stomach and the chilly air made it difficult to relax. Cody may be able to handle cold weather better than I could, but hunger? The complaints were never ending.

"I know, you've been saying it for how long now?" I snapped and right as Cody turned sharply, mouth open and eyebrows drawn together - witty comeback on his tongue, no doubt - Bombur lifted the large spoon from the stew and smacked it on the edge to get the extra bits off. Ori had been letting out a particularly loud yell, it sounded like he was telling his brothers a story, but fell silent halfway through his mock-battle cry. It was quite comical how many eyes turned to watch every move Bombur made...when it concerned their dinner, that is.

"How much longer?"

"It'll be ready when it's ready." Bombur grinned, peeping over the brim of the large pot to check on it again.

Now that the sun was setting further into the horizon, the air on the mountainside grew cold...fast. I sat with my knees pulled up and as close to the fire as possible, cloak pulled tight around my legs and shoulders and folded under my feet. I tried to bundle myself up as tightly as I could and the heat from the fire was finally beginning to warm me up, though it felt like it took it's damn time to do so!

I sat beside Bombur, watching with a few other very hungry dwarves as he stirred the pot and added this and that and whenever he deemed necessary. Bifur had been shooed away many times, and always responded in the same sharp words I couldn't understand and a bizarre gesture. But this last time - when he had grabbed a spoon from the pile of utensils and tried to get a sample when Bombur's back was turned - the clever-bastard - Nori pushed him away and pointed to where a few of the others were gathered, farther from the cliff and close to where the ponies were grazing.

I could hear a few grumbled words drift over to us, but I had no desire to leave the fire or dinner, so I stayed put when Bifur left us and joined them.

Nori came back to the fire and sat between his brothers, shaking his head and muttering something to them I couldn't hear. His sour mood brightened immediately when Bombur shifted with a groan to grab the large pile of bowls and dragged them to his side.

"Ahh, is dinner ready?" Bilbo asked, sitting down with a heavy sigh beside me and looking hopeful to where Bombur was spooning something into a few bowls. I had seen him talking with Gandalf and Thorin and the others and though I was curious about what they were talking about - and why it meant they had to be off in the cold instead of by the fire with the rest of us - but I was just as distracted as the rest of them. Just then, a breeze blew my way and I got a fresh whiff of it.

Maybe I wasn't going on and on about my hunger like Cody was but my stomach was beginning to feel cold and achy and Bombur's cooking was smelling _amazing_.

"Yeah, some sort of stew-"

"Rabbit. Kili snagged a few of these before that last climb," Bombur interrupted me, though I didn't mind. He grinned and continued to fill bowls with the stew, passing them over to Bofur who, in turn, passed them on to everyone else. "Oh, where are my manners! I should have remembered we have a lady here." Bombur grabbed another bowl and hastily filled it up to the brim, passing it to me with a chuckle. "Ladies...fifth, I'm afraid."

"Thank you." I really didn't care at all about the whole 'ladies first' deal. I had grown up with _brothers_. There was only "grab what you can and stuff it in your mouth because if you don't, someone else will snatch it off your fork". I smiled and clumsily caught the spoon that Cody tossed at me. The bowl was already warming my fingers and that uneasy feeling of being in the middle of _nowhere_ was starting to ebb away because I actually had _food_ (and bread was beginning to count as negative food in my books). "Take notes, Cody. You could learn something about being a gentleman from him."

Cody stuck his tongue out at me and was distracted immediately because there was now a bowl of stew being handed to him as well.

Any and all chatter that had been going around the fire died when everyone had dinner in their hands.

Rabbit was something I had never had before. I stirred the stew and dug to the bottom, picking up some bits of carrots and what looked like chicken. It smelled a bit like chicken, too.

 _This is not the cute fluffy animal I love...this is not a rabbit._ The first bite was slow as I tested it out. _This_ is _chicken_ , I decided, planting my attention firmly on my stew and the way its warmth spread through my chest and stomach because Ori and Dori started talking about how difficult it is to hunt small animals on horseback.

"Do you like it?" Bilbo's voice was quiet, but he was right next to me and one of his hairy feet almost touched my covered ones. I had been trying very hard to forget about that particular change, and having his so close to mine was making it difficult to forget the thick hair sprouting from the top of my own feet.

"Yeah, Bombur did a great job," I said around a mouthful.

"At first I thought you were from Gladden Fields, there are still some Hobbits in that area, but Gandalf mentioned you were from across the water." It wasn't a direct question, but I could hear the same sort of curiosity I often hear in Cody when he's trying to get some information out of me.

"When did you all talk about that?" It came out a little sharper than I had meant and he looked over quickly, hand raised as if to calm me down because I sounded offended.

"We didn't all talk about it. It was just us; me and Gandalf, I mean. I was curious. It's not often we see Hobbits not from this area. Forgive me for prying." For a moment Bilbo turned to see where the rest of the dwarves were gathered, still talking though now they each had a bowl in their hands. I waited until he turned back to the fire.

"No, it's fine. And yes, I'm from across the water." Was that like saying America was "across the pond" from Europe? Did they even have _oceans_ here? I thought back to the salty air and cold breezes that I had grown up around.

"And your friend as well?" Bilbo asked, eyes flickering from his dinner to where Cody was sitting across the fire, watching Ori's story with a wide-eyed, very childlike curiosity on his face.

"Yes."

"Do Hobbits and dwarves often live together at your home?"

"We don't live together. We're just old friends. I met him when we were in school and every now and then we get together and have a drink or something." I stopped short here, but I could see Bilbo glance over when I paused to eat some dinner. "This is actually the longest I've been around him in a long time."

I wiped the corner of my mouth, finally feeling warm and full and content - something that had escaped me all day - even just sitting around a fire with _chicken_ stew and watching Cody laugh with Dori and Nori, because Ori was now pushing his nose up to mimic something.

"You must have traveled very far to get here. I've never been this far from the Shire before." I looked over at Bilbo who was now watching the horizon where the sun was only minutes from setting behind a wispy layer of clouds. It cast a dark orange light across the hills, and in no time the only light we would have is the fire in front of me.

"Yes, it's been quite a while since I've been home," I said slowly, feeling uneasy because it had only been days since I was last home even though it felt like longer. To say I had come from so far away...only me and Cody could know that just a few days ago we were sleeping safely in our own beds.

But days to travel so far wouldn't make any sense in this world...and I was different enough without adding insanity to the list. There were no planes, I had seen no train tracks, and cars were clearly far too advanced. All they had here were ponies and horses to travel by, and it had taken us three days to get where a car could have taken us in a few hours.

"You are still good friends?"

"Somewhat." I shrugged. I didn't really want to explain our entire relationship over a fire with Cody sitting not too far away. Maybe some other time.

"Enough to travel together, though." Bilbo pointed out with a cheeky grin.

"Yeah, well. He still drives me nuts," I grumbled, looking back down at my stew and scraping the bottom of the bowl for some more _chicken_ and carrots.

"He spoke the world of you in the Shire," Bilbo said, stopping suddenly because he - once again - was telling something he apparently shouldn't have. He recovered from his sputtering and added, "I think that's part of why Thorin agreed to let you come along for now."

I bit my tongue...hard. I knew why Thorin allowed - or was forced to allow - me to come, and it had more to do with Bilbo than it did Cody. But I didn't want to tell the Hobbit that. I could keep a secret fairly well, and me being a source of _insurance_ for the dwarves, ensuring Bilbo would come along on the quest, would just be one of those secrets.

"Whatever he told you, he's lying." Bilbo found this funny, and that's where our conversation trailed off. We drank the rest of our stew when all of the _chicken_ and carrots were gone and gave our bowls back to Bombur where they were washed and put away. I sat between the large dwarf and Bilbo for a long while, wrapped up in my cloak and enjoying the warmth of the fire and the way that Dori told us stories of the Blue Mountains.

After a little while, when the sun had been down for a long time and the dwarves and wizard who had stepped away from the fire for dinner had joined us again, I finally felt like I could fall asleep. So I thanked Bombur for dinner and Ori and Dori for the stories, and found my pile of blankets. The air over here was much colder and now that my feet weren't covered by my cloak, I almost wanted to run back to the fire and just sleep over there. But I quickly grabbed the blankets and buried myself under them.

Next to me, a little closer to the large rock wall, were a few other blankets laid out with weapons beside the packs - I guessed makeshift pillows. A large axe leaned against the rock wall and I felt around my jeans for my own pocket knife, wanting that little bit of security as I fell asleep.

I pulled it out and flipped it open, running my fingers along the dull side of the blade. I couldn't look at it in the darkness, but I could feel the metal against my skin, warmed by my own body heat. I did feel better but I wondered how long everyone would be sleeping like this...ready for an attack at any moment.

I fell asleep uneasy, but warm enough and full.

* * *

Those small, wispy clouds that had shone a bright blue in the setting sun had grown overnight and now the sky was filled with gray and threatened to rain down on us.

My sleep had been short, but this time I had woken up to the sound of voices and people shuffling around loudly...not a kick to the back or a scare, and I was very thankful for that. Even though the clouds made it impossible to tell what time it was, it was very dark and I assumed early when everyone gathered around Bombur for breakfast.

Thorin had told us to hurry, eat breakfast, gather our stuff - easy for me - and to get our ponies ready to go before it started raining. We hadn't been fast enough, apparently. Just as I held my hand out to get a bowl of breakfast (I think it was some sort of bland, watery oatmeal) a drop of water hit my wrist. The sky wasted no time, and as the breakfast bowls were cleaned and put up on Darle's back it began pouring down on us.

I pulled the hood of my cloak up and over my head, and struggled (with the wonderful help of Bofur) onto Darle's back. The hood fell far past my face and I wrapped the rough material tightly around me to keep me dry. I thought about pulling my feet up onto Darle's shoulders again but we were climbing more rough inclines, and I had a hard enough time staying on her back as it was. I did feel a little bad for Darle, though, and tried once more to make a bit of peace by patting her neck.

She didn't snap back at me, and she didn't throw her head back in - what I thought was - annoyance.

Progress!

I was near the back of the group again, surrounded by Bifur and Oin who didn't do much in the way of conversations and when they did, I had no idea what they were saying. So I hunkered down on Darle's back with my shoulders and head slowly getting soaked because the cloak Fili had given me was not waterproof.

After passing over a quick-moving river - I still had to pull my feet up onto Darle's back to keep them from getting splashed - Thorin told everyone to take a break and let the ponies have a drink of water. I was finally able to do it by myself and I proudly (and clumsily) slid off of Darle's back without bringing all the food and cooking supplies down with me. No more being dragged down on her ass, for this girl!

The firm ground under my feet was very appreciated after dangling in the air for so long and the moment I let go of Darle's reins she followed the other ponies to the side of the river where they all drank.

"Staying dry?" Ori asked, his bangs soaked and falling into his eyes. He had to keep brushing them to the side.

"Trying to, it's not working out so well," I answered, feeling bad for Ori who looked horribly miserable. Growing up surrounded by rain and snow, while it didn't make me _like_ it, made me _used_ to it.

"I'm afraid it can't be avoided," he answered, furiously shaking his head and shoulders and throwing most of the water off himself and onto the rest of us.

"Perhaps it can," Dori said when the cries of protest had quieted, turning from us to yell at the wizard. "Gandalf? Can't you do something about this rain? We'll be drowning soon enough!"

Gandalf's reply was cut short by a loud cry and splash from one of the horses. Just over Ori's shoulder I saw the familiar gray pony in the water, splashing and thrashing and everything that had been tied to her back was gone. I pushed my way between the stunned dwarves, racing to the edge of the river.

"Get Darle!"

"Grab the food!"

"Get that pot!" Bombur cried out, running as fast as he could as his favorite pot hopped around in the fast-moving water. There was so much splashing it was hard to tell who was doing what and I felt helpless on the riverbank, my feet icey cold and I was only up to my ankles. Fili and Kili burst into the water and were grabbing for Darle and Gloin was splashing around, lunging after any of the supplies he could. Bombur was huffing and puffing, following the river downstream where a large black pot was bobbing up and down in the current.

Slowly, the splashing and crying from Darle was pushed to the edge of the water by Kili and Fili on either side of her, and when her reins were whipped in my direction, I made a mad grab for them. Which was a terrible idea, of course. A pony flailing around versus...well, just me.

All I knew was that suddenly my ankles weren't the only thing freezing cold. I was pulled into the water when Darle threw her head back once more, her cries and the rain and the screams of the dwarves disappeared and water rushed into my ears and mouth.

My nose and throat burned and I felt frozen for a moment, not quite realizing that I had been thrown into the water by my own pony...the one that I had _just_ thought was coming around. Something grabbed my arm and all of a sudden the crying and splashing was loud again. The cold air I gasped in made my throat burn even more and I finally started to kick against the water and find the ground, scrambling back to riverbank with something pushing me against the current.

"I'm fine," I answered quickly, not really hearing what Cody was saying on the riverbank but he dragged me onto the grass and his voice was jabbering in my ear nonstop.

Fili and Oin were calming Darle down further downstream and Kili stood knee-deep in the water, as soaked as I was from head to toe and watching in dismay as Gloin returned to the riverbank with just one small bag of the supplies.

For a long while, nobody said anything. We stood shivering in the misting rain and looking around and figuring out which supplies we still had and how much food we had. Nobody spoke about how long it would last - our hungry stomachs were an unspoken horror hanging over us all.

"Get back on your ponies! We'll go another kilometer and stop for the night," Thorin said, having already climbed back on his own. He urged it forward and the rest of the dwarves quickly climbed onto their ponies and followed him.

"Thank you for grabbing her," I said, trying to keep my teeth from chattering when Fili lead Darle over to me. She let out a huff of breath but he quieted her down, stroking her nose.

"She's calmed down now." Fili smiled, water dripping from his beard and hair. He offered me his hand and I let him pull me to my feet. "Do you need help up?"

"Thank you. I think I can do it, Bofur showed me this morning." He nodded and turned to get on his own pony. It wasn't easy or flawless, like how some of the others seemed to just hop on like it was nothing, but I took Darle's reins and climbed onto her wet back. There was suddenly so much room up here, but I tried really hard not to think about everything that had just been flushed down the river. Our food...our supplies... When would we have a chance to get more?

"I got it! I got it!" Bombur yelled between gasping breaths, racing up the riverbank and holding the large black pot over his head like a trophy. He grinned from ear to ear despite the fact that he was as soaked as I was. I smiled a bit but couldn't join in his happiness completely on Darle's bare back.

The large dwarf paused for just a moment, looking around at the back of the dwarves as they left before he seemed to kick back into high gear. His own pony stood further from the river - I'm sure all of them had been scared of the noise and splashing - and he climbed on, setting the pot on his pack and setting off after the group with a kick.


	9. I'll Kick All Your Asses!

Something told me that I should've paid more attention in school when my teacher went over things like the metric system. It had just seemed so boring, and since I didn't have any plans on traveling, I didn't see any use in studying it. Miles, I understood well. My home was two miles from my work and my father lived fifty-something miles away. But kilometers? Thorin had said we would ride for another kilometer and then we would stop for the night.

How far was a kilometer, exactly? A mile? Two? Five? The word made me think of Europe and Canada but as I racked my brain on Darle's bare back, I couldn't for the life of me remember how far a kilometer actually was. We had definitely traveled more than a few miles, in a neat line and silent like before the incident at the river. Either a kilometer was one hell of a long distance, or Thorin had lied.

There was a different kind of silence as we traveled on and it seemed to hang over everyone's heads. There wasn't even the occasional outburst from Bifur when Bofur did turn around on his own pony and speak, trying hard to keep everyone's spirits up. Even that had stopped after another half mile and the small amount of sun that we had gotten was hidden behind more clouds, darkening the sky and everyone's mood seemed to follow it. My clothes and hair were finally dry so I put my hair back up in a ponytail - surprisingly difficult to do balancing on a pony - but I was getting hungry and it was getting harder to ignore the pangs in my stomach. The last meal had been some watery oatmeal that hadn't filled me up, and I longed for some more of that stew we had the night before.

I didn't dare bring food up to the others, though. Not even to Cody who rode behind me, because that would set off a bought of complaints that I'm sure nobody wanted to listen to.

It didn't really matter how far we traveled, because whenever we did stop for the night, it wasn't like there would be food.

Lucky little pony, I thought sourly when a bird rushed across our path and she gave a start, leaping back suddenly and nearly throwing me off of her. Our supplies were lost because she fell in the river, and while we would be the ones to suffer she would go and graze with the other ponies...filling their tummies to their little-pony-hearts content.

God, it was hard not to think about food. If we had food I probably wouldn't be thinking about how hungry I was getting or how horrible it was going to be when we did stop for the night.

I tried to turn my mind to other things, but that didn't help either. Home brought back the thought that there was probably some food going bad in my fridge right that moment. Wonderful food, wasted. Work...brought back the smell of coffee and warmed up scones and muffins and sweets. Even school made me think of when Cody would bring in thermoses of hot chocolate and we would top it with marshmallows and sneak sips because we weren't suppose to be drinking in the Computer Lab.

This just wasn't going to stop, no matter how hard I tried.

Finally, when it was getting harder to go for a few minutes without thinking of food, everyone came to a stop. We weren't on a cliff anymore...in fact, there hadn't been any sharp inclines in quite a while. Instead, we were surrounded by trees, a few dense patches of woods and thick bushes making it hard to see very far ahead.

"We'll camp here for the night! Fili, Kili. Take the horses over there and keep an eye on them." I couldn't see Thorin, but his voice was easy to hear over the unusually quiet dwarves.

Everyone climbed off their ponies and I did the same, my stomach growling. Darle's head swung back to me and for a moment I thought she was going to bite me. She didn't, and just stared at me with dark eyes for a long moment. Was that her form of an apology? Did she actually understand how screwed we were now that everything she carried was gone? The dumb little pony had actually been important after all.

"Go eat, it's fine," I grumbled, pushing her big gray head away and shooing her over with the other ponies that filed through the trees. Her tail whipped around and flicked the back of my head as she walked away. I pulled out the rubber band to release the now-disheveled ponytail...disheveled because of a pony's tail. I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to get the knots out before putting it back up. But when I did the sound of snapping rubber made me freeze. The rubber band fell to the ground, broken, and I almost wanted to cry when I reached down and grabbed it. My hair brushed my shoulders and fell forward as I did and I had to push it out of my eyes.

This journey would be hard enough but now my rubber band (my only rubber band) was broken and I hated wearing my hair down. It was uncomfortable, my hair became frizzy, and it just got in the way of everything! I stuffed the broken band in the pocket of my jeans and huffed. There wasn't anything I could do until we came to some sort of town...but that could be forever!

I looked around a bit because now that the ponies were gone I noticed that the group had moved as well.

The dwarves (and Gandalf, easily noticeable with his towering height and pointed hat) had gathered near what looked like a house. It just barely looked like one, though. Large black pillars stood high in the air and the ground around the clearing was charred black. I took a few steps back, the ash sticking to my feet.

"Save me from the stubbornness of dwarves!" Gandalf cried out, his form storming away from the group. I could see Bilbo a little ways away - still patting his pony affectionately - turn and follow Gandalf with an outstretched hand.

"I'm so hungry," Cody said and I jumped. I hadn't seen him sneak up beside me and he grinned despite his complaints. His eyebrow quirked up for a moment but I smacked his hand away immediately when he reached up to my hair.

There would be no hair-pulling. Or whining! (God, I felt like his mother.)

"Don't you dare complain, Cody," I warned, feeling like I would be more intimidating to him if I weren't a head shorter and my hair wasn't down and around my shoulders. I could still try, though. Someone had to keep him in line. "Everybody's hungry but no one needs to hear about it."

"Fine." He pouted, looping his arm through mine and dragging me across the ash-covered ground and ignoring my protests. My feet - everything, actually - was dirty enough as it was without black soot covering my hairy feet. My dip in the river hadn't helped in the bath-department and I felt like everything I wore was stiff when I tried to move.

"No fires tonight," Thorin said, walking past Bombur and Gloin who were huddled around a small pile of wood. Both groaned and sat back but nobody said anything further. "We'll sleep here for tonight and continue on in the morning. We'll hunt along the way for tomorrow's dinner."

 _More rabbits_ , I thought with a pang of sadness for the furry cuties.

Even though we had no fire, the dwarves still gathered around the unlit pile of wood and branches. Balin handed me a blanket that I was very thankful for and continued on to the rest of the dwarves. At least _all_ of the supplies hadn't been lost in the river.

Cody and I joined them around the unlit fire, wrapping blankets around our shoulders because now that we had stopped moving the air around us grew colder. I tried my best to toss all my hair behind my shoulders but it just wouldn't stay.

"Nothing we can do about it tonight, lads," Dwalin said, hushing everyone's grumbling voices with his own. "Just make sure you rest well and we'll get something to eat tomorrow. Cody." Beside me, he jumped at his name, looking quite comical with his green eyes so wide. "We should work on training you up a bit. It won't do to have you here without any means to defend yourself."

I waited for a moment, expecting the large dwarf to turn to me next but he didn't. _Sexist!_ That thought was odd, considering Cody often acted more like a girl than I did.

"We can work on your stances tonight and go over some of the more basic moves."

"Uhh, okay." Cody looked positively mortified when Dwalin let out a loud bark of a laugh, grabbed his arm and shook him around easily.

"We'll also need to put a bit of muscle on your bones," Dwalin joked and a few of the dwarves that weren't too depressed to listen laughed along as well.

"What's wrong with my arms?" Cody asked, tearing his arm away and feeling at the (lack of) muscles there.

"Come on, Gloin and myself will help you tonight." Dwalin nodded to Gloin and grabbed Cody's arm again, dragging him away from the group. Cody looked back at me with a 'god-please-help-me' pleading look but I just stood with my blanket wrapped around me and when they were far enough away so that I couldn't hear their voices, I turned back to the rest of the group.

"We'll show you a bit as well, lass." Balin smiled. At least someone noticed that I had been left out. "I can show you some work with smaller knives. I think that would suit you best with your size."

"Finally, someone is seeing my potential," I joked, shoulders sinking because nobody actually laughed at that. I tucked some of this damn hair behind my ear when the slightest of breezes pushed it forward.

"We'll need to have you bring more to the table besides..." It was Bofur that had started that, smiling as if he was comforting me but that grin slipped from his face quickly when he couldn't finish.

"Feminine charm?" I asked, smiling because the group of men did find that funny.

After that there wasn't much talking. I could hear the faint voices of Cody, Dwalin and Gloin as they showed him where to put his feet and how to hold his shoulders. I was actually a little relieved that Dwalin hadn't demanded I join them...even if it was because I was a girl. I sat between Oin and Ori, wrapped up tightly in a cloak and a blanket and feeling depressed enough as it was because I was in need of a bath and a meal and something to hold my hair back.

The last thing I needed in that moment was to be knocked clean off my ass by a man twice my size. Possibly three times, if Dwalin was the one to do it.

"Problem! We have a problem!" Kili came screaming out of the forest, tripping over Ori and sending branches and bits of wood everywhere as he landed on the fire. Fili was just behind him but stopped short, looking around at us with wide eyes.

"What's wrong?"

The dwarves fell silent, their own questions answered by Fili, "Trolls have some of the horses. Bilbo went to get them back but they heard him."

Within seconds, every dwarf stood and drew a weapon. Swords, axes, knives...everything was suddenly at the ready and here I stood with nothing in hand but a fucking pocket knife. Dwalin tossed a sword to Cody - who caught it surprisingly well and without losing a limb - and at Thorin's command everyone moved into the forest, following Fili and a finally-recovered-Kili.

I followed behind them, realizing with a start that Fili had actually said there were trolls. _Trolls._ I didn't even want to know what they were doing with our ponies but I really hoped that Darle wasn't going to become someone elses meal. I felt my hand shake but I gripped my knife hard because now was not the time to drop what small weapon I did have.

The dwarves ahead of me, while we weren't moving that fast, were moving _loud_. We hadn't gone that far when everyone stopped. I could hear a scream somewhere ahead of us and a loud, deep voice responded and my breath caught in my throat.

"Or what?" That voice belonged to something big, I knew that for sure when the dwarves ahead of me surged forward with cries and screams, swords and axes raised high over their heads.

I probably should have hung back. I hadn't been in so much as a serious fist fight in my life - scraps with brothers not counting - and now I was leaping into a clearing with battle-ready dwarves and trolls, my small knife looking less and less threatening as I laid eyes on them. They were massive, their skin a sickly gray color and they swung their enormous arms into the throws of dwarves, tossing several to the ground in one swipe.

I shook when one of them stumbled close to me and with a yelp - not quite the battle-cry I had intended - I pushed my knife forward and into the leg of the troll. It roared and I pulled my knife out, which was surprisingly difficult. A hot gray liquid poured out of the leg and covered my hand, making it difficult to hold onto my tiny weapon as I tumbled back.

It turned its large head to me and its tiny eyes narrowed. I couldn't move, but as the troll took an earth-shaking step toward me and I was sure I was going to be crushed under one of its large feet like a bug, Thorin rushed forward and swung his sword at the troll. The blade caught his arm and drew his attention to where the other trolls were crying out.

I had stabbed something. _Stabbed_ something, and now it's blood was dripping down my hand, shockingly warm to my cold fingers. I didn't even know what to do to help, so I moved back to the line of trees, trying hard to stay out of the way because it didn't look like the dwarves really cared what they hit.

As quickly as it had all begun, it stopped. I didn't even see why until one of the trolls yelled out, "Drop your weapons or we'll rip his arms off!" It was followed by several low laughs and I could finally see what had the dwarves rooted in place as I had been moments ago. Bilbo hung in the air, one of the trolls hands engulfing the hobbit's arms and another holding his legs.

Thorin was the first to throw his sword on the ground and the rest slowly followed. I stood near the back of the group and only slipped my knife back into my pocket when Balin nudged me with his elbow.

"That's more like it," one of the trolls drawled slowly, a crooked grin spreading across his large face. "William, grab those there bags."

* * *

Well, wasn't this day just panning out wonderfully? We didn't have any food but soon we were all going to become food. Dinner for those horrible trolls, too!

I tossed in the burlap sack. It had been tied too tightly around my neck but I suppose I had been better off than some of the other dwarves. A few hung from a branch that stretched over a large fire...larger than any of ours had been. One of the trolls, the small one (though small isn't a word I would think to describe the sheer size of him) turned the stick and the dwarves tied to the branch kicked and screamed as many insults as they could. I didn't understand some of it, spoken in that rough language I had come to associate with them.

A foot nearly struck my head when Cody - thrown to the ground beside me, headfirst in his own bag - started thrashing around again. At least I had my head free...even if it did feel like I was being choked a bit.

"Let me out, you brutes! You asses! I'll kick all your asses!"

"Shut up, Cody, they're not listening," I hissed, trying to wiggle away but it was difficult to do in a bag and I felt like a caterpillar. Not to mention my hair was in my face and I could feel some strands on my lips and I couldn't even brush them away. "Stop that! You're going to kick me!"

"Sorry." I barely heard him, but the kicking did stop and for a long moment he laid still.

That is...until we heard the trolls talking about how to cook us. Shall we be cut up in pieces or cooked whole?

The thrashing picked up again right where he left off, screaming insults and promising pain. Very threatening...coming from a burlap sack with a single foot sticking out of it.

Things didn't exactly get better when Bilbo managed to get to his feet and hop over to the trolls, nearly tripping several times as he did. The trolls attention was now on the hobbit, and the one turning the branch stopped. Poor Dwalin and Balin, I thought as they yelled and kicked, their long beards dropping dangerously close to the flames.

I couldn't even hear what Bilbo was saying, but I wasn't sure if that was due to the panic that was slowly building up inside of me or Cody's screams.

"Take me out and we'll see who eats who! I'll take you all down! You'll be sorry you ever messed with Cody Dean Lorrison! I'll make you all pay!"

Bilbo finally managed to stay on his feet and get himself in front of the trolls, though I had no idea why he would want to. One of the huge ones turned to him, rushing forward and in that moment I thought the hobbit would be crushed under the troll's giant hands. He wasn't crushed, but with one finger the troll poked his chest and sent Bilbo stumbling back.

Any words they spoke were drowned out by Cody's yells and the growing yells of the dwarves in the heap around us. Whatever they had heard infuriated them, and I could hear several above the commotion yelling about worms and parasites and what was all of this about? Were they going to _infect_ us?

"I'm not diseased you freak!" Cody screamed, thrashing and this time his foot did connect hard with my shoulder. I rolled away - to hell with feeling like a caterpillar - because that hurt! I rolled right into someone else but I didn't know who was in that particular burlap sack.

"Cody, you ass! Stop kicking me!" My shoulder was throbbing and I struggled to flip over onto my other side to ease my weight off of it.

"The dawn will take you all!" I knew that voice echoing around us, and it didn't belong to any troll. The dwarves fell silent and there was a burst of light.

It had all happened so fast. First the ponies were gone, then we were going to be eaten and then we all had parasites. I was just so thankful when Cody was released from his bag because (a) he wouldn't be kicking my shoulder out of its socket anytime soon, and (b) he turned around and immediately knelt down next to me and untied the sack from around my neck.

I scrambled out of the horrible thing and used it to clean off my hand, still covered in that disgusting gray blood. With a shudder I tossed the filthy sack to the side. I took a moment to try and wipe all of my hair out of my mouth and pulled out a few twigs that had lodged themselves in there in all the commotion and thrashing. Gandalf had helped to get the dwarves down from over the fire and though everyone was now safe, many were still spitting mad at the now-frozen trolls.

All three stood around the fire, looking more like statues than trolls because they had been completely turned to stone. I had first thought it was some sort of magic from Gandalf but thought no more on it because my stomach let out a loud growl.

"They have some fish over here!" Gloin called out, dragging another sack over to the fire. There was a murmur of praise throughout the group when the tough-looking dwarf emptied the sack on the ground, and my smile dropped as soon as he knelt down and grabbed one of them. The fish was flipped over onto it's back and a short knife was pushed into its gut. I couldn't look, but the sound still reached my ears as its guts were ripped out and tossed to the side.

Kili and Fili were sent out to find smaller sticks, and soon there were several fish spread out over the fire, cooking and filling the sour-air with the smell of food. A smell that was putting everyone in a better mood. I had expected to fall asleep hungry and tired and cold, and go through the next day feeling much the same (or worse). I sat beside Cody at the fire, knees pulled up to my chest and just enjoying that we actually did get a fire today...even if we were sharing it with stone trolls.

"You did a bit of damage, huh?" Cody asked, grinning and pointing to my hand. There were still bits of dried gray blood on it that I couldn't brush off with the tough burlap sack.

"Yeah, I guess I did," I said, spreading my fingers out before me and suddenly feeling proud because I went from someone who couldn't throw a real punch to someone who successfully stabbed a troll. A troll! With a pocket knife!

"I got a few jabs in, myself," he added, grinning and picking at the oddly colored blood that had been drying on his jeans. Now that the fighting was over, Cody had given Dwalin his sword back and the large dwarf sat across the fire from us, cleaning all of his weapons with a frown on his face. "I bet I'll be giving them hell with some more practice."

"So you learned a thing or two from Dwalin and Gloin?"

"We just talked about stances. Apparently mine is horrible, but they're both willing to work with me on it."

"You mean to tell me they don't want someone dancing around like a butterfly?" I asked, trying hard to pull off a shocked expression but it crumbled too quickly and soon I was grinning. "I always thought that was a coveted move in battle."

"Whatever." Cody elbowed my shoulder - thankfully the one he hadn't kicked earlier - and I elbowed his stomach, feeling better and better as the night went on because now we had food to look forward to.

* * *

I didn't remember hearing Thorin say anything but by the way the dwarves uniformly stood, put out the fire - to my dismay - and grabbed their belongings, he had clearly given an order to move out. I saw Bombur collect the bag of fish and throw it into his favorite pot, tying a rope through the handles so he could wear it much like a backpack.

I had heard Bofur say something about a troll cave and I grabbed my pocketknife, holding it tightly as all of the dwarves moved back into the woods.

_A cave?! There could be more of them?_

"I have not seen mountain trolls travel in groups more than three or four, lass," Balin said, putting me at ease. I was suddenly aware of how alert I had seemed, following behind everyone with my knife at the ready once more while the dwarves just stomped through the woods, even louder than before because stealth wasn't on their mind. "The caves will be empty, but perhaps they will have some supplies and food."

"And gold," Bombur added, and I was surprised that the food wasn't the thing that got his attention. Maybe it was the several fish he had downed over our lunch.

"Aye, there'll be gold there for sure if those trolls have been here for any amount of time." That was Bofur who fell back from the majority of the dwarves, eyes gleaming in the same way that Bombur and Balin's were. It was almost the same way that Cody's eyes brightened whenever a good bit of gossip came his way...it was a little unnerving.

Food, supplies, and gold. I really had no idea what to expect when we finally did come to the troll's cave, but the smell nearly knocked me on my ass, that was for sure.


	10. It's A Quarter, Gandalf!

That smell could have knocked me on my ass, and it nearly did. I took a few quick steps back and stumbled into Cody who held my shoulders, to steady one (or both) of us. The dwarves around us were still going toward the smell, and with a groan I followed, pulling my jacket up and over my nose and mouth in hopes of filtering out a bit of that stench.

"That is ripe! I think we found their bathroom," Cody grumbled, voice muffled as he plugged his nose.

The entrance wasn't much of an entrance. There was no door or pathway leading to the cave, there was just a gap underneath a huge rock...and while it looked large to me, it must have been nearly impossible for those massive trolls to fit through.

"Well, I guess we just climb on in," Cody muttered, following Balin and ducking his head low. I, with my mouth and nose safely tucked into my shirt, didn't have to do so much as lean to climb into the disgusting smell of the cave. I wasn't exactly sure how Gandalf had made it into the cramped space, but I could hear his voice above the rest. All I wanted to do was run in the opposite direction and perhaps burn my nose and now I could sort of taste that horrible stench on the back of my tongue!

 _Oh god, no!_ Don't gag. Now is not the time for vomiting!

Somehow, the dwarves managed to get past the smell and as soon as I climbed in and let my eyes adjust, there wasn't so much as a complaint to be heard from them. I was having a hard time breathing in general, and Cody had been right in thinking this was their bathroom. And their kitchen. And their garbage dump. And a number of things that made for the most disgusting smell ever.

I stood close to the entrance, not wanting to venture in further unless I absolutely had to. Cody, on the other hand, seemed drawn in with the others to rummage through the small wealth left by the trolls. I shuffled here for a bit while the dwarves looked around, taking their damn time in opening up a few chests, dusting things off, estimating prices, and a few were even digging holes!

There was no way we could stay here long without passing out! I turned back to the entrance for a breath of fresh(er) air and felt something cold against my foot. Looking down, I first thought I had found another piece of silver that had escaped the grasp of the trolls and instead lay half-buried in the dirt. Upon a second glance, though, I couldn't help but think that the head engraved on the face of the coin looked so familiar. I had seen it so many times before.

George Washington. Wig of hair, profile, "United States of America" engraved at the top...I had just found a quarter.

I felt about as giddy as Gloin looked, stuffing handfuls of gold and silver into a hole in the ground. I briefly heard someone mention a long-term investment but I had picked up the quarter and couldn't tear my eyes away from it.

It was beautiful. I flipped it over again and again in my hand and realized something else...I hadn't only found a quarter, I found a huge quarter. It was nearly as long as my thumb, and for just a moment my hopes took a dive. Just for a moment, though, because even if this was a fake quarter, who here would know all the details to make it? "Liberty". "In God We Trust." I flipped it over and a bald eagle stood on a branch with it's wings spread out proudly.

It wasn't like I was a connoisseur of quarters or anything, but when you live pay-check to pay-check and need them for laundry every week they become an important part of pocket-change. Dimes, nickles, pennies...they could all rot in hell because the only thing that was of any use was a quarter.

Stench forgotten, I raced deeper into the troll cave to where Cody stood, nearly tripping over the many things that littered the floor. I think some of the dwarves were now looking at weapons but I really didn't care. I nearly knocked him over and while Cody looked startled at first, his eyes widened and his mouth dropped open when I shoved the quarter in his face. I didn't even realize I was waving it around until he grabbed my wrist to stop me.

"Look what I found! Look! Look! Would you look at it!"

"I'm looking!" Cody snapped, grabbing the quarter and holding it up in the small bit of light that we had. "Are you serious?" A breathy laugh escaped him.

"Yes! Give it back! I'm serious! This is amazing!" I am not normally one to freak out, nor am I one to jump up and down and clap their hands when something spectacular happens but this was beyond spectacular. This felt damn-near magical.

"What is it you've found, Holly?"

"Oh." Gandalf was standing over me, eyes flashing between the quarter and my face as with a start I realized that several of the dwarves were looking at us as well. A few looked a little interested but several had already turned back to their own hoards. "Oh, I suppose it's nothing."

When the dwarves turned back to the weapons and the gold (and I think one of them cried out that they found food) Gandalf knelt down beside me and Cody, his body shielding us from their sight. He was still quite a bit taller than me, but he managed to make me feel even smaller with his scolding gaze.

"If this is of some importance to the two of you, I suggest you keep it to yourselves. I do not recognize that as any currency in this world," he added, holding his hand out and it was with a lot of difficulty that I dropped it into his massive hand. It looked tiny and he flipped it over, bringing it closer to his face to inspect it. "What do you call this?"

"Uh, a quarter," Cody said slowly. Not only were we far from home, but we were explaining what a quarter was to a wizard.

"Keep this safe." That was all Gandalf said before dropping the quarter back into my hand and walking away - head nearly hitting the top of the cave - to where the dwarves were trying to roll a barrel up the incline to the entrance.

"You'll need one of these." I jumped at the voice to my side and stuffed the quarter into my front pocket. Cody quickly stepped away and I was staring wide-eyed at Kili and his outstretched hand.

"What?"

"You'll need one of these," Kili repeated, holding out a large knife.

"I have a knife."

"If we run into trouble, you will need something else. This should do until you are trained with a larger weapon." Kili grabbed my wrist and held my hand to the handle and suddenly I was holding a huge knife. When he let go I nearly dropped it, not expecting something so small to be so heavy.

"How do I use this?" I asked, weighing the knife in my other hand. It was too heavy, too big...it didn't feel right. Not like my small pocket-knife.

"For now? Just as you used your other one. I saw you stab that troll in the leg, that was quite impressive for someone who has only ever taken a swipe at a dwarf before." He was trying not to smile but I could see a sparkle in his eye - the same kind Cody gets whenever he's making fun of me and having too much of a good time with it.

"How do you know that's all I've ever done? I could be dangerous." I got a laugh as a response and Kili was walking away before I realized that it was a little insulting. I scoffed a bit and looked down at the knife. It was a bit longer than my whole hand and was a lot heavier than it looked. The handle was wrapped in leather but other than that it looked like any other knife.

"We're leaving! Grab the food and that is enough, Gloin," Thorin's voice echoed through the small space and all the dwarves fell silent except for the grumbles of Gloin.

I didn't even realize I had forgotten the horrible smell until I climbed back up the incline and stumbled out into the forest again, breathing in real fresh air that burned my throat. The dwarves filed out of the cave and Nori and Dori were struggling to roll a large barrel up and out of the cave.

"Troll caves aren't that bad, huh?" Cody laughed, taking in a deep breath as he joined me.

"I could do without the smell. But yeah, I was pleasantly surprised," I said, the quarter still feeling cold and too large in the pocket of my jeans. "Where'd you get that?"

"This?" Cody asked, moving his arm away so I could better see the large sword tied to his belt. The handle looked about as big as my whole knife, and wait a second...why did he get to tie his to his belt while I had to carry mine? "Dwalin found it, he thought I would need my own sword for practice so I could get used to it."

"Yeah yeah, whatever," I grumbled, not even realizing that I had crossed my arms until a large grin spread across his face.

"Awwwe, somebody's jealous," he sang, nudging my arm with his elbow.

"I am not jealous," I snapped, turning to give him my most neutral expression. "I'm serious!"

"Seriously jealous."

"Just shut up." I pushed him away and after he quickly turned to stick his tongue out at me (the child) he walked over to where a few of the dwarves were building a small fire, closer to the entrance where a massive pit of black ash already sat.

"I suppose you would not know how to tie that. Would you like some help?" Dori asked, motioning to my hand.

"Uh, yeah, thank you. I don't think it'd be all that comfortable to hold this all the time."

Dori just smiled in response and went over to where his pack sat with the rest, rummaged through it, and returned with a long scrap of dirty cloth.

"Ahh, I did wonder what those loops were for if you didn't wear a belt," Dori commented, pointing to my belt loop. "We normally would tie this to a belt, but this will do just as well." I didn't really want to tell him that belt loops weren't meant for swords and knifes, so I kept my mouth shut as he tied an intricate knot around my knife.

"May I?" he asked when he was done, motioning with my knife to my pants.

"Oh, uh, sure." Giving someone permission to be so close to my waist was rather odd, and Dori seemed to find it just as awkward, the skin just above his beard glowing a bright red when he pulled away quickly.

"There, see how that feels."

I wasn't too sure how I was supposed to do that, so I moved around a bit. The knife shifted against my leg, but mostly it stayed straight and it felt a lot better than if I had to hold it.

"Take the knife out," he instructed, smiling just a bit at my embarrassment because how was I supposed to know that that's how you test one of these make-shift things out? I did, and the knot tied just below the handle stayed exactly as it was.

I slipped the knife back in and smiled. "Thank you, Dori. This is great."

"Think nothing of it. Not all of us wish to see you so ill-prepared." I paused a bit at that comment but before I could ask just who wished to see me "ill-prepared", Dori was walking over to the fire where everyone had gathered.

Now that all of the cups had been dumped into the river, a few absolutely massive mugs filled with an odd, too-sweet-smelling alcohol were passed around the group. Thank god we had all filled up on fish earlier, because the smell from the troll's cave was still wafting over and with that in my nose I probably wouldn't have been able to stomach a thing.

I stood between Cody and Bifur, waiting until one of the mugs was passed in our direction. Bifur did a number on the drink, taking large gulps before quickly passing it over to me and nearly splashing it all over my hands.

I thanked him - not sure whether or not he could understand me - and took a deep breath. It was too sweet, smelled stale, with a horrible citric acid aftertaste...but it was alcohol. So I took a few large gulps and passed it along to Cody who did the same. The dwarves all seemed to have the same idea, even if it was a little too early for drinking, to relax a bit after the troll attack and settle down for the night.

"Ori, Nori. Do a check around the camp," Thorin ordered and the two dwarves left - Ori grumbling and getting smacked by his brother - disappearing into the forest with loud footsteps.

Everyone sat down and several of the dwarves even took their larger weapons off, letting them sit by their side as they all enjoyed the quiet... minus the loud gulping of several members of the group.

We didn't get all that much time to settle, and the silence was broken by loud and quick footfalls coming at us from the thick trees.

"Someone's coming! Someone's coming!" Ori chanted, racing into the clearing with Nori on his heels. Dori grabbed his brother's elbow to stop him and turned him around.

"Who's coming, Ori?" Gandalf demanded, standing quickly and holding his large staff to the forest.

The noise was faint at first, but it almost sounded like something was sliding on the ground.

I wanted to run right back into the troll cave because that sound was getting louder and I really didn't want to live through the troll attack just to be eaten by a giant snake. No. Oh-ho-ho no!

Cody stood just as quickly as the rest and I scrambled to follow suit, though my knife - now in my hand and drawn before me - was admittedly less threatening than the massive sword Cody held...even if it did quiver and I was sure I saw that.

The noise grew louder and a few dwarves let out loud cries, ready to rush forward with swords and axes lashing out at the attacker.

"Stop! Stop!" Gandalf yelled, throwing his staff out to the side to stop any dwarves that were moving forward. "He is no enemy of ours." Axes and swords lowered just a bit but none of the dwarves seemed to trust this enough to drop them completely.

"Gandalf!" A man rushed into the clearing, on a sled...dragged along by rabbits.

My stomach flipped a bit at the sight of the cute little things because I had eaten one - and yes, I was coming to terms with that in my own time - but my attention was quickly drawn to the man who stumbled off the sled and ran to Gandalf. He was quite a bit shorter than the wizard, but looked just as crazy with his hair a wild mess and something white - I really don't want to know what that is - running down the side of his face.

"Gandalf, something horrible has happened-"

Before the man could continue, Gandalf hushed him and with a hand on his shoulder directed him away from the rest of us. Something horrible had happened, but we couldn't know what it was? At Thorin's command everyone put their packs back on and Bombur collected several fish and stuffed them into his favorite cauldron-turned-backpack.

Both Cody and I stood awkwardly in the mess of rushing dwarves. There were no bags for us to pack, nothing to gather. I had my knife, my pocket knife, and my clothes. I felt a little empty without anything here with me, but Cody didn't seem to mind and was focusing on making sure his sword wasn't pulling his pants down with the weight.

Before I could do so much as laugh - let alone make fun of him finally having something large attached to his waist - a loud howl silenced everyone. My laugh died in my throat and another howl followed. The dwarves had frozen for just a moment and Gandalf stormed back over with the smaller wild man in tow.

"I can lead them away, Gandalf," the man said frantically, his eyes darting around to the dwarves that were now packed up and ready to go.

"What the hell was that?" Bilbo cried out when another howl tore through the air.

"That was a warg. Orcs aren't far behind us." Dwalin's rough voice did little to put me at ease because "warg" and "orc" didn't sound as friendly and cute and cuddly as the rabbits and ponies we had seen so far.

"Grab the ponies, now!" Thorin called out, sending Ori, Oin, Gloin, and Dori back to where the ponies had been left to graze and rest after their scare with the trolls.

I wanted to crawl back into the troll cave and run at the same time...perhaps just disappear altogether because whatever made that blood-curling sound had all of the dwarves looking around nervously. They had just dove into a clearing filled with massive trolls and fought their way out...but they were ready to run from whatever had made that noise. Whatever wargs and orcs were, it had all of the dwarves in fear.

No. Just...just no! I brushed some hair away from my face, tearing my fingers out when they got caught in a tangle and was it bad that this was adding to my anxiety?

My knife was suddenly shaking and it wasn't until Nori put his hand on my shoulder did I notice that my absolute terror might be noticeable to the others. I coughed a bit and lowered my knife, trying hard to steady my hand which turned out to be entirely impossible.

"It'll be fine. With our ponies we can get ahead of them." A head-start? He was trying to be comforting, so I nodded but really? A head-start was all we got?

The dwarves sent to get the ponies rushed back into the clearing, and with a jolt I noticed that there were no ponies in tow. I looked amongst the trees, hoping to see Darle's dark gray colors hiding in the trees but there was nothing. Just shadows and another howl.

"The ponies are gone!"

With our ponies we got a head-start. What would we do without them?


	11. Swords Will Have To Be Cleaned

I can't run...and I can't stress this enough. I. Can't. Run.

Imagine a family of gazelles racing through the savanna with a pack of lions on their asses. Can you imagine that little baby gazelle? It's stumbling and huffing and puffing and no matter how hard that little gazelle tries, it falls behind the adults. That's how I was feeling that very moment when reality hit me...like a baby gazelle falling back into the waiting teeth of a lion.

Everything was a blur of panic and adrenaline and absolute terror but when an agonizing pain exploded on the back of my arm, reality hit me harder than a train. Every second before this we were simply playing lions and prey, and then in that moment of surprisingly _painful_ pain, I realized this was all real. The field of golden grass brittle under my feet, the large stones cold beneath my hands as I steadied myself on a rock, the faces of the dwarves around me when we stopped... The sun was even shining down on us and in that insane moment everything just paused and I realized that it was a cold day, just starting to grow colder by the sun setting over the mountains and shining bloody orange off the metal of the swords before me.

This was a cold, sunny evening; _real_. _All_ of this was real...and I could die in this field - on this dry grass with small stones digging into my feet - at the claws of something far far more terrifying than any lion on the discovery channel.

I could _die_.

"Get back!" Gandalf's voice rang out over the hollers of the orcs. I stumbled back - somebody pushed me? - only half aware of my surroundings because those cries and cackles and screams for our heads were starting to overpower the voices of the dwarves around me. They cried out, laughed, taunted us.

"Shoot them, Kili! Before they get too close!" That was Fili, somewhere in front of me and with the warmth that spread down the back of my arm I felt another small jolt of realization; I wasn't the only one capable of dying here.

I had been squeezing my knife in my hand, but up until this point it hung uselessly at my side. Every dwarf around me - even Cody - held a weapon before them, standing side by side to form a semi-circle in the field, facing the orcs with our backs against a cluster of rocks. I raised my knife as well, though I had no plan of attack...or defense. I had no plan, actually, and I felt sick and selfishly ready to cry.

There was a disgustingly high-pitched scream, gargled and then silenced and I looked around just in time to see one of the dark creatures fall off it's wolf - a warg. There was an arrow in it's neck and Kili did not stop at that one. Another arrow was in his bow and it flew through the air so fast I didn't even see which orc he hit. Another. And another.

It was comforting and horrifying to watch one dwarf take down so many nightmarish creatures before they could get to us, but even more terrifying when one of them screamed out in a dark language, almost a hiss that hung in the cold air. The words weren't what scared me, but after that they all moved in, answering that cry with their own, their steps eager and assured as they advanced on us.

I was struck by how _small_ we were when they got closer and I held my knife just a little higher. These creatures were huge and disgusting and they _wanted_ to kill.

"Close ranks!" I wasn't sure who screamed that, but everyone followed the order and stepped back to the rocks, the semi-circle shrinking and I was pushed back again to avoid getting hit by the backside of Gloin's axe. I was pressed against the rock and when I shifted to get a better footing on the pebble-ridden ground, the back of my arm erupted into painful stabs again, shooting down my arm to the hand gripping my knife. I turned to see Ori beside me, a sling-shot in his hand and eyes as wide as mine probably were.

"You stay back," Dori demanded, pushing his younger brother roughly behind him when Ori tried to force his way to the front, where most of the orcs were horribly close. And coming closer!

There wasn't time for him to protest. There wasn't time for anything, because as soon as Ori's shoulder collided with mine there was another chorus of screams, more familiar to me than the orcs, and in that same moment the dwarves jumped forward. The sounds of metal hitting metal were shockingly loud and I flinched, gritting my teeth and holding my knife up despite the shaking.

Ori let something fly from his slingshot but I didn't follow where it went. I was surprised, watching the scared dwarf next to me slid down the rock to the ground and feel around for more pebbles, and with a loud scream he sent them flying into the commotion. My hand still tingled but I adjusted my grip on the handle, completely unsure of how to hold it if one of those creatures got close. I heard Cody scream and he was pushed back by Dwalin, his chest hitting the rock beside me and his forehead snapping against the stone with a crack like a whip. He stumbled for just a moment, feet sliding on the rocky ground and catching himself before he slid away from me.

"Are you okay?" I yelled, hand immediately reaching up to check his forehead with gently prodding fingers as he blinked rapidly, leaning back and steadying himself with a hand on the rock.

"Fine," he answered quickly. "One of them almost got me."

He said it so casually that I shuttered. He's fine...he just almost _died_.

I turned from him and a moment later wished that I hadn't. If I wasn't ready to throw up before then I was the moment I watched Balin thrust a sword deep into the stomach of an orc. It's own weapon dropped from it's hand and it knelt to the ground slowly. It was not a quick death like Kili had delivered with his arrows, but I wish it had been and now I couldn't tear my eyes away from it. Balin kicked the orc and it fell back into the tall grass, sword pulled from its stomach and a long, low cry coming from the dying creature. It was gone from my sight, but I could still hear it's cries just barely audible over the battle.

"Where's Gandalf?" Bilbo cried out, his own sword raised and glowing bright blue. Ori had disappeared from beside me and Bilbo's head was whipping this way and that, sword held high as he searched out the tall wizard.

An orc staggered to us, heavy limp in it's step and a low, growling hiss ground out. It's shoulder hit the rock hard as it stumbled, a long crooked sword raised high over it's head.

"In here! Quickly!" At Gandalf's voice Bilbo's sword lowered just a fraction of an inch and he searched through the line of dwarves, just barely keeping the orcs away from the rocky structure. "Now!"

A hand reached up from between a small gap between the rocks and grabbed Bilbo's arm, pulling him into the shadows just as the orc rushed forward. It's sword swished through the air where Bilbo had been just moments before, and when it's black eyes turned to me I raised my knife shakily.

A loud yell stopped the orc before it could get closer, and Thorin threw himself against the dark creature sword-first, and kicked it away.

"Everybody! Follow me!" Thorin grabbed Ori as the younger dwarf ran by - slingshot at the ready - and threw him roughly between the rocks where Bilbo had disappeared. "Now."

I didn't argue or think twice when Thorin's head tilted to the shadows. I raced between the rocks, heart racing.

"Slide down here, come on!" Gandalf stood beside a gap under a rock, where I had just seen the top of Ori's head disappear into even darker shadows. Perhaps if we weren't about to die, and I wasn't scared half to death as it was, I would have questioned the old wizard's sanity. This was not the time to ask questions first, so I ran down the path between the two large rocks and was unceremoniously tossed down the rough incline.

It wasn't a _short_ incline either, and by the time I had rolled head-over-heels and banged up all my limbs, I finally hid the ground hard. My arm throbbed but I pushed myself up and away from where more would tumble into the cave. Down here in the damp blackness, I had to strain to hear the sounds of the battle just above us. The ringing of metal and screams (from which side, I had no idea) sounded miles away and distant.

"Ori?" Someone came screaming down the incline and hit the ground with a groan. It was just a moment, though, until Dori leaped up and frantically felt around the cave. My eyes were just beginning to adjust.

"I'm here."

"Oh, thank Mahal." Dori rushed over and grabbed his younger brother by the shoulders, turning him this way and that in the dark as he checked for any injuries, Ori protesting. "Don't you ever do that again!"

"Do what? I helped!"

"If Oin hadn't been there that _thing_ would have-" Dori's agitated worries were cut off by a yell and the sound of metal sliding against rock.

I couldn't tell who came into the dark cave when, but soon Gandalf's large form blocked whatever dull light was shining down from the opening of the cave and the dwarves were all crammed in shoulder-to-shoulder...which did not bode well for my arm as it was jostled around with every movement from whoever was beside me.

"Are you okay?" If anybody could seek out an injury and unintentionally make it _worse_ , it was Cody. He grabbed my arm and spun me around, and I had just a moment to put my knife away before he asked again, more frantic this time and giving my arm a shake.

"Ah! Yeah, I think I'm fine. What about you? You hit your head." I tried to reach up again but he swatted my hand away.

"I'm fine, it's just a bruise. That was amazing!" he added breathlessly, and I could hear the smile in his voice even if I couldn't see it.

" _Amazing_? You idiot, that was horrible!"

"Bofur, Bombur, Kili, Fili, Thorin..." Gandalf murmured, moving around the cave and granting us that tiny bit of light again as he counted heads. "Good, we're all here."

Several screams in that dark language rang out through the cave, louder than they _ever_ should have been and the dwarves nearest to the incline spun and drew their weapons. I groaned. We had _just_ gotten away and if they could fit their disgusting bodies through that tiny opening we would all be _screwed_. Royally and utterly _screwed_.

"This cave leads somewhere! Do we follow?" Dwalin's voice drowned out the screams from above for just a moment. Most of the dwarves pushed to the back before Thorin had said yes, and I wasted _no_ time in following the herd away from those freakish creatures.

"Where does will this take us, Gandalf?" Thorin asked, somewhere behind me and if Gandalf did answer, I didn't hear him.

"Did you see me? I got one of them!" Cody cried out, nearly jumping with excitement while I trembled. "I'll have to clean my sword."

"Congratulations, you also almost got yourself killed."

"Small details," he tutted, and a dark orange light filled the cave as we moved down the narrow path, shuffling at a slower pace now that the screams weren't chasing us through the dark. I finally felt some of the panic that had kept me frozen in my place during the battle ebb away; it was a relief! Soon that light that had just let me clearly see Cody ahead of me was blinding, and I had to squint to see as we all stepped out into the fresh air.

The rocks on either side of us came to an abrupt stop, and everyone stepped onto a narrow cliff. The dwarves ahead of us stopped short and there was a small commotion while everyone ran into everyone else.

"What is it?" Thorin asked, pushing past me and making his way to the front of the group.

"Rivendell," Bilbo gasped, stepping up from behind me when I joined the group on the cliff-side. The cold rocks under our feet fell away to an immense valley, bright green trees climbed high up the other side of the mountain and large white rooftops poked out of the greenery.

"It's beautiful." I stopped as well, unable to tear my eyes away from the beautiful city. The buildings looked as if they had _merged_ into the wilderness, large bridges arching over small rivers and streams, all leaving nature untarnished. Seattle could _really_ learn a thing or two from whoever built this place!

"You brought us to the _elves_ ," Thorin hissed, turning quickly to Gandalf with a look of complete betrayal.

We had just left a group of blood-thirsty orcs and wargs behind us...how bad could the elves be?


	12. Down The Rabbit Hole

"This place is fantastic!" I said to Cody, not worried about being overheard by the dwarves anymore since they were all now...uh, occupied. It was clear when we entered the elven city that they were wary of everything around them - probably even the stone under their feet! - but Thorin had decided that we could stay for a little while. After that was all said and done, we had been somewhat welcomed by the elves, and by that I mean reluctantly... _very_ reluctantly.

And now I understood why the elves had not wanted to welcome so many dwarves into their city.

At the time, when I had been craning my neck to see where Gandalf, Lord Elrond, and Thorin stood, it sounded as if all the dwarves were horribly tortured over the idea of staying in the company of elves. Grumbles, swearing, and I could have sworn I saw Gloin spit at one of the elves who came too close.

But now, however, all worries were _clearly_ forgotten. I could hear loud splashes behind us and screams that were shockingly girlish and gleeful for how deep they were, but I refused to turn around. I knew fully-well the sight that would blind me for a second time. I stood with Cody on a balcony that faced the large open valley and gave us the last glimpse of the sun as it went down. It was exactly where we were left when the company went ( _literally)_ streaking to a large fountain that apparently could also serve as a massive bath and pool.

"It is great," Cody whispered, his back to the sunset and his attention elsewhere.

When I turned to look at him I immediately slapped his shoulder and snorted; a knee-jerk reaction that had been learned after years of being around him. "You're _looking_?"

"Uhh, yeah," he said with a grin, taking just a small step away as if I would smack him again...which I probably would before the company was finished with their current activities. "Not at all of them, Holls. Just a few. Just a select...few..." He trailed off.

"You're disgusting."

"And you're missing a wonderful opportunity."

"To be a _peeping Tom_?"

"They're not exactly hiding anything. If you bath in public you should know what to expect." He shrugged a shoulder, the deed already justified in his mind.

"I don't think they can expect anything that comes from you. Do they even have homosexuality here? You might get stoned to death."

"Think they've got weed here?"

" _That's_ what you heard? Stoned but not dea-"

"Don't ruin this moment," he said in a rush, waving a hand in my direction.

"How am I ruining this moment?"

"You're talking," he said, eyes fixed ahead of him and his hand making a 'jabber jabber' motion in the air. I slapped it away, but he barely seemed to notice. _Groooooosssss._

There was a cough and I spun around, groaning again because I could see _them_ just behind Lord Elrond and another elf. I covered my eyes quickly and peaked again after a moment of preparation, trying _very_ hard not to laugh because standing in front of a fountain full of naked, hairy, screaming dwarves was an impossibly elegant man...staring at Cody with a look I could only describe as 'wtf'. And the poor man beside him looked even more horrified.

Cody, oh bless his heart, didn't notice a thing, and continued to watch the dwarves with unblinking eyes. Lord Elrond could have been doing the Charleston dance and he wouldn't have batted an eyelash.

"You'll - uh - have to excuse him. Sorry," I added, shooting Cody a dirty look that he didn't see.

"I have grown accustomed to excusing the actions of dwarves, My Lady. Our ways and customs are very different from those of Thorin Oakenshield's company, and leniency will be granted during your stay." Lord Elrond's posture was elegant, his voice was elegant...damn, even his _words_ were elegant. Right down to calling me "My Lady" with a small bow of his head.

I hadn't seen them up close when they had first greeted the company because I was pushed to the back as always and my new height made seeing anything a struggle, but now I got a good look at them both. Small braids pulled their dark hair away from their faces and they had the same characteristics of the other elves I had seen as we came into Rivendell; tall, thin, creamy skin, sharp features. All _screaming_ poise and properness and here I stood, hairy bare feet tracking mud over his clean city, clothes a tattered mess, and I didn't even _want_ to see the state of my hair.

"While your friends are bathing, I would like to see that your arm is taken care of," Lord Elrond said, paying no more mind to Cody and the dwarves behind him even though the other dwarf still had a look of complete horror on his uncomfortably beautiful face.

"My arm?" I asked, twisting my arm and craning my neck to see the back where I could feel just a slight breeze cooling my warm skin. It stung and burned but it had only been a scratch. _A flesh wound_ , I wanted to say but kept my mouth shut tight. The company already knew how different Cody and I were, there was no need to go spouting off Monty Python references.

"I assure you, I am able to do the proper stitching and I believe I have a salve that will keep away infections." He stood to the side and motioned for me to follow and - _oh god, no_ \- allowed me the full view of Dwalin, bare as he could be though still bear-like with all his hair, stand at the top of the fountain. A loud scream and splash later and I was _more_ than willing to follow Lord Elrond anywhere.

"I'll be right back. Cody? Codes?" I waved a hand in front of his face to grab his attention but I was _clearly_ not wanted, and swatted away like a fly. "Fine."

"This way," Lord Elrond said after speaking a few words to the other elf in a language I couldn't understand, taking slow steps to accommodate my smaller strides. "It will not take long, and dinner will be ready just over here in a moment." He pointed to a large open area with a few tables and strikingly beautiful elves setting white table clothes on the surfaces. I almost wanted to say that white was not such a good idea - I had seen how the dwarves ate at Bilbo's house - but decided that it would just have to be another bit of _leniency_ added to the list; table clothes destroyed beyond repair.

"How is it that your companions managed to evade the orc pack without injury, but you did not?"

Heroic battle? Story of Holly saving the day? Wonderful swordsmanship saving the lives of the Company? No, of course my mind wouldn't come up with anything _interesting_ to say. Even tripping over a branch would have been better than the truth, but there was something to Lord Elrond's words and questioning glance...he did not mean to tease or provoke me as Cody always did.

The truth spilled out. "I can't run very fast."

He hmm'ed and smiled just a little bit, thankfully keeping his gaze ahead so he wouldn't see my face go just a little red.

"Gandalf has told me all he knows of the journey," Lord Elrond started, turning to stare down at me with a knowing look. "Specifically of how you and your friend came to be in the company of Thorin Oakenshield."

"Right. Well, I've told him everything I remember. He said there might be people in Middle Earth who could help us get back home."

"I do not know how you came to be here, but I do know that you and your friend are not the first beings to travel here from another world. You already knew of this?" Lord Elrond asked, beautifully arched eyebrow questioning me as much as his words did.

"When we were in the troll caves, I did find something." I fished around in my back pocket, pulling out the quarter. It rested in my hand, nearly as big as my palm and the coin warm against my skin. I handed it to him when he reached forward and let him look at it. He flipped it over and over as we walked, looking more "to scale" in his large hands than it had in my own.

It was almost comical, watching an elf twist a piece of _pocket change_ between his fingers so carefully, like it would fall apart. There was how much sitting between the cushions of my couch at home? That stuff was sat on daily and this single coin, having traveled to another world with _somebody_ , meant so much more than a quarter of a load of laundry.

"I have never seen such a thing before."

"It's a quarter. Only a small bit of money back home but I had none in my pockets when I came here and Cody always keeps his change in his man-purse." _That_ earned me a weird look, but thankfully the tall elf didn't question what a man-purse was.

Lord Elrond gave me back the quarter and I flipped it around, watching the dull light shine off of ole George's profile.

"Step through here," he said, stopping abruptly and opening a door and I had to back-peddle, my mind on the coin in my hand instead of where we were walking. He smiled and I followed him inside a small building, much larger inside than it had appeared from the outside. The walls were lined with beds and chairs, everything clean and white and _sterile_ ; a small hospital.

"I'm going to warn you now, I don't like needles," I said, but he didn't respond in any way, only shutting the door behind us and a freakish, nervous laugh escaped before I could stop myself.

"Please sit here and remove your coat." Lord Elrond motioned to a chair with a sweep of his arm and I did as I was told, throwing the cloak and my jacket over the back of the very tall chair. I had to hoist myself up much like I had to when I was a child, and my feet didn't even touch the ground. That hadn't happened in years and years!

I swung my legs while I waited, listening but not looking while Lord Elrond grabbed things from a few cupboards and drawers. Before long he set a silver tray on the bed beside me and my heart immediately leapt up into my throat. There was a _needle_. Hadn't I just said I didn't like needles? He went and put one right under my _nose_!

"The cut is not terribly deep, but it is long." Oh _yay_ , _several_ stitches! I thought and grit my teeth so I wouldn't let loose one of those terrible laughs that I couldn't control when I was _really_ nervous.

I looked away when he picked up the needle, taking a piece of thread and setting it up like he was going to sew up a ripped pair of jeans. I picked at my own pants, dirty, tattered...no tears but they were clearly worser for wear than they had been back home. There was a patch of frayed material higher on my thigh and I busied myself with that because I was _not_ freaking out in the slightest.

"Please face that way," he said, pointing away from himself and I gulped.

This was it. The moment I would become a _pincushion_.

"You said we were not the only ones to travel here from a strange world?" I asked, my words a blurred rush because I wanted something to focus on other than the anticipation.

"Yes, I did. Not long ago I met a woman who had found herself lost in the woods not far from here. She was of the race of man, though we knew she did not belong to either Gondor or Rohan - the two largest cities of man," he added. Something cold brushed against the back of my arm and it felt like my skin had been set on _fire_. I jerked away without even thinking about it but his large hand held my shoulder and kept me in my chair before I could bolt. "It is just an ointment to clean the wound before I begin."

"Oh, right." I laughed nervously. "So you said it wasn't long ago? Would we be able to go and find her?"

"I am afraid I misspoke. It was not long ago in the lifespan of an elf; it was perhaps three hundred years ago. Because she was of the race of man, she is not alive today." She was gone. She had been gone for a long time, and the large quarter in my hand suddenly felt like a death sentence than a glimpse of hope. If she spent her entire life trying to get home and couldn't, what did that mean for me and Cody?

"So we probably won't get home either." The words slipped out and the hand was on my shoulder again, a comforting pat that did little to ease my growing anxiety.

"It is not always so black and white, even if it sometimes seems so." A sharp pain on the back of my arm made it difficult for me to focus on Lord Elrond's words, so I just listened to his voice and breathed deeply. He had already seen me in panic-mode, no need for him to see me pass out.

"But back home, are we dead or just in a coma? Do you think it's possible that we are still alive at home?" I turned, only able to get a glimpse of Lord Elrond's face - brows drawn together in concentration - when another stab from the needle distracted me. I gripped the quarter in my hand hard. "Honestly," I added.

"My honest opinion would only be an opinion. I have no past experiences to base this off of."

"Shoot."

"I do not believe a soul of one being can live in two bodies." The words were firm and no longer comforting - it was the cold, hard _truth_. We were either alive here, or we were alive there. And by the pounding of my heart and the painful stabs that sent my stomach flipping and flopping, I was clearly alive here. "Just one more."

When the stitching was _finally_ done (and boy did that feel like an eternity of cringing and trying very hard to sit still) Lord Elrond set a now-tinged-red needle back on the tray and grabbed the bandages. The wrapping went by quickly and though it burned to have the fabric pressed against the wound, whatever ointment he had put on after the stitching made my skin feel less feverish.

"You may take this with you when you and your companions decide to leave. Put a thin layer of this over the wound once a day, and _try_ to keep it clean." Those last words were said with a knowing smile and I was left blushing, embarrassed because once more I realized how absolutely filthy I was.

I grabbed the tin from his hands and popped it open. There was a white paste that didn't smell particularly pleasant, but I smiled and slipped it into the pocket of my jacket and grabbed both my thin coat and the cloak from the back of the chair. "Thank you."

"Please do not feel disheartened, My Lady." I hopped down to my feet and gently moved my arm around, testing the wrappings to see how far I could move. "There is no telling whether or not you and your friend will get home."

Well, it wasn't exactly a pep-talk - I wasn't sure what that was - but I left the small room/hospital with a tight smile, a polite nod, and thanked Lord Elrond again for helping. I wandered back the way we had come, this time able to appreciate the beauty of Rivendell as I walked. Large pillars and beautiful marble walls made it difficult to tell whether I was indoors or out, weaving through the hallways and getting glimpses of the horizon, darker now that the sun had gone down. I hadn't been paying that much attention to which ways we had turned, but as I walked aimlessly I could hear screams and shouts and fists slamming on tabletops...sounds that I had grown accustomed to meaning the dwarves were having a blast.

And this meant that the elves were not.

I found out immediately that I had been right; white was not the best color for table clothes when dwarves were involved. Food was flying and Bofur was standing on the table, dancing, singing, and kicking a massive bowl of lettuce at the elves. The poor creatures still tried to play their music over the chanting and screaming, harp and flutes just barely audible over the noise.

And there was Cody, grinning from ear to ear and screaming, slamming his fists on the table in time with Bofur's singing and clapping. When he saw me standing in the entrance he motioned quickly for me to take the seat next to him.

Well, I guess when there aren't naked hairy men to ogle at, suddenly I was worthy of his attention.

I took the seat, this one not too high and the tip of my toes actually touched the ground. Once I was by his side, Cody was screaming and chanting and stomping his feet on the ground again, taking a long drink from a mug that sloshed just a little when he slammed it down. Well _that_ made sense. He was only super-duper-uber excited to see me when it meant a drinking buddy.

Having survived the orc pack attack, gotten my arm stitched up (and sat still during most of it!), and learned that we are most likely stuck here forever all in one day...I deserved a drink!

When Cody's head was back and he was letting out of those god-aweful hiccuping laughs at something Dwalin said I grabbed his mug, having none of my own, and took a long sip. Over the brim I saw Bombur grin and I smiled back, setting the cup on my other side and glancing over to see if Cody had noticed.

This couldn't have been his first drink, because he didn't find a thing out of place. He was listening intently to something Dori, Ori, and Nori were saying, though I couldn't make out any of it over the general noise. Dwalin's laugh was lower than the rest and louder too, and whatever Oin had just said was apparently _hilarious_ because everyone's words were drowned by his laughter.

There wasn't much food to eat that hadn't been mangled by their hands, so I picked through what I could find on the table, looking around to see that the elf who had met us on the balcony with Lord Elrond stood with a tight-lipped smile, eyes worried as he watched more and more food fly through the air.

It felt wonderful to just sit. No more running or dodging crazy nightmare-ish creatures or sliding into dark caves. I picked at some food and drank the rest of Cody's drink - some sort of light, fruity wine - and watched in half-amusement-half-horror as the dwarves completely destroyed the dining area.

One thing I hadn't taken into account, though, was the fact that I was also coming down from an adrenaline high. That, coupled with the wine, meant that when I stood to reach forward and grab a plate of _almost_ untouched salad I had...difficulties.

I tripped quite spectacularly and knocked a few plates off the table, earning a glare from the elf behind the harp and a round of laughter from the dwarves.

"I think you may have had enough," Bofur said with a laugh when I found my seat again, grabbing my - Cody's - mug of wine and downing the rest in a few gulps.

"I wasn't done with that!" I yelled, realizing too late that my voice was a little too loud...but also noticing that there was a mug just across the table. Well, if they weren't going to guard their cups, should they be surprised when I take them? I reached across when I saw that Kili was turning and talking to Dwalin, and quickly grabbed it. Nori let out a loud laugh and raised his own mug, but other than that I hadn't thought anybody noticed.

That was, until Bofur grabbed it _again_.

"Stop that!" I yelled, but he had already downed half of my - Kili's - wine and he clearly wasn't listening.

I glanced around the table again because _surely_ there were more mugs that weren't under strict supervision. Fili's was pushed closer to the middle of the table, just beside Kili, and I waited, trying _very_ hard not to grin when he turned and I leaned forward to grab it.

Quick as a blink, I grabbed his mug but before I could drag it back to my side of the table he turned and grabbed it, holding it in place and with his free hand grabbing Bifur's drink beside him.

"Drink slowly," he said with a grin and grabbed my wrist, taking my hand off his drink and putting Bifur's stolen one in mine.

"I can hold my wine!" I took a drink and smiled, feeling the warmth spread and I was finally relaxing. More food was flying and I barely managed to dodge a chunk of something that came flying from Ori and Dori.

"Hey! Where's mine?" Kili yelled out, turning from his conversation with Dwalin to find that his mug was long-gone, one amongst the several in front of Bofur.

I shrugged, drinking my own (stolen) mug of wine and nodding to Bofur beside me who sat with a wide grin, eyes just a little unfocused and several empty cups in front of him.

Kili yelled out and threw a handful of something runny at Bofur, who was too slow to react and got a face-full of I-don't-want-to-know-what. The entire table erupted into laughter and fists pounding on tables and heavy boots stomping on the ground.

The destruction of the dwarves was no longer a worry in my mind. We were safe, we were comfortable again, and we were _alive_.


	13. The Dippers, They're Gone

After the wonderful (for us) and terrible (for the elves) dinner, the dwarves grabbed every scrap of food they deemed desirable and left the rest scattered across the floor or smeared along the walls. The poor statues had taken the brute of the attack; anyone able to smash a glob of food on the delicately carven creatures immediately earned a chorus of cheers. That sort of competition drove the dwarves until the torches were the only way for us to find our way through the city.

That, and Lindir.

The poor elf had to be enduring some horrible punishment to get that job. Escorting the dwarves and making sure they were all fed and knew where they were going to be sleeping (I would add bathing, but that had already been taken care of)...suddenly made my job back home look cushy and wonderful.

I had just stepped into the large room where Lindir had left us when a hand grabbed my shoulder and spun me around. I was expecting Cody and had a quip on the tip of my tongue (a little rougher due to the alcohol) but it died there immediately when I realized it was Thorin standing over me. Balin was at his shoulder but his gentle smile did nothing to stop the sudden jump in my anxiety. The last time Thorin was so close was at Bilbo's house, and to say he was intimidating was seriously an understatement. Was it just me, or did he always look so suspicious?

"What did you tell Elrond about our quest?"

"He didn't ask about it." I started to walk away - escape - but he moved in front of me, eyebrow raised. "Really, he didn't. He was more interested in me and Cody, actually."

Was it that hard to believe that we were _interesting?_ The little bit of spite in me wasn't quite strong enough to say something like _that_ to someone like _him._

"Was he of any help to you?" Balin asked, calm and peaceful where Thorin was demanding.

The word yes was right there. All I had to do was explain what Elrond had said; we were stuck here. Forever. Another girl from our world had come here hundreds of years ago and died here...it felt like something heavy was weighing on my chest at that thought.

I would die here, and that scared me more than the idea that I was already dead back home. This new world would be the death of me, and I still had no idea if it would be at the hands of a dragon, those horrible orcs, or mere age...searching endlessly for home.

"No, he couldn't help us," I lied. Balin nodded, forced a smile and patted my shoulder. Thorin shrugged off his large coat and walked into the room, not a word or (what I had really been dreading) a look that said he saw right through me.

I really had no idea why I did it. I don't normally lie without there being a damn good reason. Denial? Maybe I thought that if they knew that we were stuck here forever they would leave us in the elven city. No use in bringing us along if there was no way home, right?

I was still feeling warm from all of the food and the drinks I had stolen from the various mugs around the dinner table, and the breeze that shifted through the room was soothing but I still couldn't completely calm down. I was starting to feel really tired. Exhausted, actually. My arm was still throbbing but not so sharply now and I sat my belongings on the floor; the cloak, my pocketknife, a quarter, the folded up contract and the tin of ointment...a tiny amount of belongings next to the massive pile of packs and weapons and coats heaped up beside mine.

"You alright?" Cody asked, surprisingly quiet for someone so drunk. He nodded to my arm. "That still hurt?"

"No, 'tis just a flesh-wound." I grinned at his loud bark of a laugh, finally able to unleash that reference in the presence of someone who would appreciate it. He leaned in and I immediately flinched back, his shoulder knocking my arm and he flew into a blur of apologies before I could stop him.

"Is there anything else I can help you with?" Lindir asked, voice strained as he looked around the group of dwarves. Most had ignored him, only a few looked up at him and I was the only one to say something because there was one thing that I absolutely needed.

"Is there a place I can take a bath? Not...you know...in a public fountain."

He bowed his head just a bit and left, and I shrugged off Cody who had now gone gun-ho into his clingy-drunken stage. I left quickly and realized after a moment of chasing after Lindir that I had forgotten my things, my stomach sinking just a bit because then I also realized that I had no clean clothes.

"I am grateful that there is one in the Company with a sense of modesty," Lindir said with a tight smile.

"Yeah, flashing elves and dwarves isn't really on my bucket list, so..." I trailed off but he didn't respond and I wanted to smack myself. They don't know what a bucket list is! They probably would think it's a list of different types of buckets. And flashing, I wonder what they thought that meant - oh god, and now I had to stop myself from giggling. The wine! I blame the giggliness on the wine.

The room for the baths was small, with large tubs lining one side and curtains that could be pulled all the way around.

 _Thank the Lords,_ I thought with a breath of relief. _Privacy!_

Lindir pointed out the soaps and how to turn the faucet on, and I was pleasantly surprised because they even had running water. Perhaps this wouldn't be such a horrible place to be dumped by the Company...minus the fact that the elves would probably be scandalized by every word that came out of my mouth when I was not on my best behavior. Lindir left as quickly as he had come...he'd probably had enough of the Company and we had only been here, what, a few hours? I really couldn't blame him. A few hours with Cody and I might run for the hills as well!

I pulled the curtain closed and once I was holding my clothes I could see how absolutely filthy they were. Not a dirt stain or grass stain...all my clothes were one giant dirt-suit! I dunked them into some hot and soapy water and swished it around, working out some of the dirt until the bathwater was nearly black. I tried rinsing them out - difficult to do in dirty soapy water - and hung them over the curtain to dry and successfully soaking the curtain as well. I drained the water and actually had to clean the tub out a bit.

Oh man, next was my hair! Getting into the bath - more like a pool with a porcelain wall to climb over - and keeping my upper arm completely out of the water was a pain in the ass all by itself. The mass of hair was a terror to clean out, and that was not an understatement. Knots, twists, tangles, a leaf! This was horrible and even though I felt gross with how much dirt was coming off my skin I was starting to feel better.

Hot water, soap, finally feeling clean for the first time in who-knows-how long. That seems to be what I had needed to calm down all along.

 _But now_ , I thought with a groan and I slapped the surface, _I have to put on wet clothes._

Which, by the way, is a pain in the fucking ass. I had put it off for a while and just enjoyed the water, not sure how much longer we would be staying and if I would have a chance for a second bath before we left. I could actually stretch my legs completely out in front of me, and there was still plenty of room between my abnormally large feet and the end of the tub. Now this was something I could get used to about being so damn short. This entire "adventure" would still be a pain though, if I was going to have to jog just to keep up with the rest of them.

I could only think about the journey ahead for so long before the water became lukewarm and I had to climb out and face my wet clothes.

I had no idea how many times I swore and stumbled trying to get my pants on but wet jeans were the worst, and in an afterthought I hoped that nobody had walked by the door and heard me and my battle. The shirt was only bad because it was _freezing_ cold and I had to fight the urge to throw it off.

Finally I was in clean (but not dry) clothes, shivering and combing my fingers through my hair to make sure that it would remain knot-free for at least one night. I drained the water, choosing not to dwell on how dirty it was just from me, and left the bathroom to search through the city for the dwarves again.

It hadn't taken too long. They weren't as obnoxiously loud as they had been during dinner but they were still loud, so I followed the sounds and found all of the dwarves (minus just a few from the Company) sitting on an open balcony with - I am not joking - a fire in the middle of the room. One of them had obviously decided to drag in some sticks from who-knows-where and start a fire on the marble floor and I felt terrible for the elf that had to clean the soot off.

Even though I didn't want to admit it I did search for Cody in the bunch. He was not far off, laying on the ground near the balcony that overlooked a few smaller buildings further down the valley. His attention wasn't on those, though. His fingers were laced behind his head and there was an odd look on his face; an almost thoughtful expression.

"Holly, there's no big dipper," Cody called out and I went and sat beside him.

"There's no what?" His speech was a little less than perfect and I was sure I had misheard him.

"Big dipper. I can usually find it. It should be right..." He closed one eye and pointed to the sky. "There."

His arm fell back to the ground and I got comfortable beside him, my back to the railing and tilting my head up to look at the stars. They were beautiful. Far, far brighter and bigger than anything we would be able to see at home unless we went deep into the forest and away from any city. It had been a long time since I had sat and just looked up. I felt a little childish taking a moment to stare up at the sky in wonder.

"I don't see Orion," I said quietly, searching the sky for the familiar constellation. I was never good at finding them - the big and little dipper were lost to me unless someone else pointed to them - but Orion was one I could always count on finding. "It's not here."

"What do you think that means?" I could hear the homesickness and worry in his voice, more like a lost child now than a grown man, and in an instant I made a big decision.

"I have no idea." I had an idea, and Lord Elrond had given me his opinion - we were so, so much farther from home than we thought - but it wasn't one I wanted to share. And in his state at the moment, would it be appropriate to say anything? _Hey, I know you're drunk as fuck and all, but at home we're dead and we're probably stuck here forever._ The words sounded horrible in my head, even if I did choose a different way to word it.

"Do you think we can still get home?" Cody shifted, pulling himself over until his head was in my lap. I rested a hand on his head, grabbing a chunk of his dark hair and playing with it between my fingers.

"I don't know." I wasn't sure if my voice shook or something else had given me away, but a frown settled on his face. For a moment I thought he would call me out, perhaps with an indignant _"bullshit"_ and the glare of death but his mouth formed a thin line. It looked odd on someone who was always grinning so widely, whether it be at me or something else... it was foreign and it didn't suit him. "We'll figure something out."

"Yeah?" he asked, hair pulled away from my fingers when he tilted his head to look at me. "You think so?"

"Well, so far there are wizards and orcs and wargs and magic... Who's to say we won't stumble across a crazy portal?" He smiled just a bit and I continued, grabbing another bit of hair and twisting it. "Maybe it will glow blue or something, maybe a rabbit will lead us to it or an elephant. Perhaps the elephant will be the portal, like the port-key in Harry Potter. We just need to go find all the elephants here and touch them."

I let my head fall back against the railing and looked back up to the brightening sky, enjoying the laughter my ramblings had caused. Guard down and both a warm and cold feeling running through my body, I let myself relax and joke with Cody.

"Do you think they have elephants here?"

"With everything else they've got, I hope they do. It would certainly make up for those wolves." I smiled and glanced down at him. That foreign frown was gone and he finally looked relaxed, green eyes searching the stars for the answers I couldn't - wouldn't - give him.

He stood on shaky legs and offered me his hand, pulling me up with an ease that would not have happened if we were back home and both human.

"I hate that you're tall now," I muttered, following him from the balcony to where the dwarves were surrounding the probably-illegal fire.

"It's kind of nice. I like it," he said, grinning and standing as tall as possible. I pushed him and he stumbled just a bit, back to grinning like an idiot and all thoughts of home and answers and the lack of the big dipper gone for now.


	14. Liar, Liar, My Pants Should Be On Fire

"...and then there is the birthday of Adelard Took in early summer. That is always a large party with more food than we could possibly eat. Filibert Bolger is one of the oldest in the Shire, so his birthday is quite a surprise each year, actually."

The more I listened, the more I wanted to turn around and run right back to the Shire. Before I only had the image of the pleasant town in my head of rolling hills and people who loved food and comfort, but now I was hearing about their festivals and how happy Bilbo seemed to be just talking about his home. I wanted to be that happy talking about home! He wasn't just missing it at the moment - he genuinely loved it.

Bilbo sat with his legs crossed and a pipe hanging from his mouth, eyes glazed and a faint smile on his face, a contrast to the worried or concern expression he always seemed to have. He was usually baffled or disoriented by something (usually at the hands of the dwarves) but here in Rivendell, comfortable by the fire and a full belly, he was almost a completely different hobbit.

We sat in front of the fire late at night, having enjoyed exploring Rivendell earlier that day and personally, I was tired from climbing all of their massive steps. If the elves had ever tried to stop the dwarves from relighting the fire on their marble floors, I hadn't heard it, and when the sun started to go down on the elven city the Company had relit the probably-illegal fire.

"How old is he?"

"One hundred and nine years old."

"Jesus, I can't imagine ever living that long," I said, turning to Cody who was staring down at the fire with a frown...quite the opposite of my own mood. "What's eating you?"

"Nothing, I'm just tired."

I shrugged and faced Bilbo again. "We have big parties on the 16th and 21st birthdays, but I think that's about it."

"Why the 16th?"

"It's called a Sweet 16...sort of like a coming-of-age except they're still young. Not everybody has one...it's more of a "princess-y" thing, I think."

"So you do have Kings and Queens and Princesses?" Bilbo took the pipe out of his mouth for just a moment to ask.

"No, no," I said quickly, realizing that I had to think a bit more before blurting out whatever I wanted. "We don't have any of those - well, wait, we do. We have just a few but not in our country. I guess calling someone a princess or "your highness" is more of a sarcastic thing...like they _think_ they are so high and noble when they're not." Bilbo looked confused but didn't push and I felt at a loss because explaining was _not_ my strong-suit. "I call him a princess sometimes."

I nudged Cody and expected a smile (at the very least!) but he moved just a bit from my elbow and did nothing else.

"Okay, princess, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Something's wrong."

"No, nothing's wrong and I just don't want to be badgered!" It all came out in a yell and Bilbo's smile slid off his face before Cody had even finished. Sometimes when he would yell at me I would either walk away or yell back; and I was in no mood to go find somewhere else to sit and chat just because he was being pissy.

I replied just as sharply, "How is this badgering? There's something up with you and I'm asking what it is. If you'd just answer me I'd stop."

"I'll go get us some tea or something," Bilbo said awkwardly, standing and quickly leaving the fireplace.

"She's already got a home!" Cody shouted that at Bilbo's back and I watched the shorter man pause for just a second and then continue out of the room. I saw a few of the dwarves that had been sitting near the balcony glance in our direction, so I continued in a hushed hiss.

"Is _that_ was this is about? You think I'm going to replace Seattle with the Shire?" The thought had crossed my mind (it was a little embarrassing how tempting that was) but I was pissed that he was calling me out on it, and in front of the Company!

"Yes, _that_ 's what this is about," he hissed right back, that blank expression finally replaced with _something_ \- fury. He had seriously been _furious_ about this? All because Bilbo was telling me stories?

"I'm not going to run away to the Shire."

"Why not? You don't exactly want to be here." That felt a little low, seeing as he was talking loud enough for the dwarves to hear us clearly.

"Well it wasn't _my idea_ to come. That's on you." I pointed a finger at him but he brushed it away with a scoff.

"Then why did you?"

"Because of _you_ , you idiot!"

"I didn't ask you to follow me!"

"You didn't have to! Someone needs to keep your head out of your ass, 'cause God knows you can't do that yourself." At this he got up and stormed off, leaving the room silent except for the hushed whispers of the dwarves and the cracking of the fire.

I slumped down and rested my cheek on my fist, turning away from the dwarves when I saw Bofur come over. Everything had come rushing out of my mouth so fast I didn't have a second to think about what I was saying. Of course, part of why I came was to make sure Cody was alright but there was a part of me that was curious about this adventure, world, and people (preferably no more orcs, though). But all the dwarves would have heard was that I came because of Cody.

"I'm not going to just leave," I muttered before Bofur could even sit down across from the fire, where Bilbo had been sitting.

"I know." I had expected a harsh tone but he was calm, understanding, and I immediately felt my anger fade away. It left me with guilt - an uncomfortable aftertaste to the argument.

"How do you know? None of you guys know us at all and I still don't understand why you even let us come."

"Can't say I know why either," he said with a shrug. "But you two signed a contract to bind you to the Company. I wouldn't take you as a liar, lass."

That struck something in me and I kept my mouth shut tight. I had already said more than I meant to with Cody, and now would _not_ be the time to confide in a dwarf I didn't even know that I was, in fact, a liar. I was a little surprised my pants hadn't caught fire. I had initially lied to Cody when he was drunk but I didn't exactly come forth when he woke up the next morning after me - hungover as all hell to boot.

"Here, some tea," Bilbo said with a smile, coming back into the room with a heavy teapot and a few cups (complete with sugar and milk, to my pleasure) on a tray that looked several times too big for his hands. "Would you like some, Bofur?"

"No, never been one for tea, myself. Unless it's spiced up," he added with a wink and a grin.

Bilbo sat and poured a cup for the two of us, passing mine over and sliding the tray across the ground so I could fix mine just how I liked it.

"Sorry about Cody," I muttered, low enough so that the dwarves by the balcony couldn't hear us.

"Oh, you don't have to apologize. Home can be a touchy subject to everyone on this quest," Bilbo said, glancing around the room. "Perhaps we can find something else to talk about."

To be honest, there wasn't much for us to talk about except home. Where did I work? That required a bit of background information because "Starbucks" didn't cut it and apparently they don't have coffee shops in Middle Earth. Where did I live? Well that was obviously about home and Bilbo's face glowed red for asking that one.

There was a long silence where me and Bilbo sipped our tea - far too hot still, even with milk - and Bofur just watched the fire.

"So does everyone in a family have rhyming names?" I felt a little proud for asking this, as it was something I had thought about every once in a while but never at a time where I could ask. That, and it steered the conversation away from the Shire and Seattle.

"Not all the time, but it is common practice amongst dwarves. Bifur's my cousin, and Bombur is my brother. Fili and Kili are brothers, obviously." Bofur nodded to where the two were sitting with their heads together, as it always seemed to be. "Oin and Gloin are brothers; Ori, Dori and Nori too. Dwalin and Balin as well."

So everyone here was with some sort of family.

"What about Thorin?"

"He had a brother, but he passed away long ago. His sister, Dis - Kili and Fili's mother - still lives in the Blue Mountains with much of my own kin."

"So there _are_ women here," I said with a grin. "This is the first I'm hearing of it."

"There aren't many in the race of dwarves," Gandalf's voice made me jump. I hadn't even seen him enter the room, which was a little worrisome as I was facing the only door! He leaned his staff against the wall and slowly (with groaning that reminded me of my grandfather) found a seat between Bofur and myself. "Which has lead to the myth that dwarf women don't actually exist."

"How is that even a myth?!" I laughed out. "They have to exist."

"Well, some have believed that dwarves are born out of stone." I chuckled a little at this, imagining a nude, hairy baby jumping out of stones with axes and weapons in hand. I shook my head because _that_ was almost as bad as the image of the dwarves in the fountain, which was now burned into my memory whether I liked it or not (and I definitely didn't).

"Our women don't leave the mountains often. I suppose that when they do they are mistaken for dwarf men. An excellent way to camouflage, if you ask me."

I turned to Gandalf, hoping for a little more of an explanation than Bofur offered on how all of their women could possible look manly enough to pass as men.

"It's the beard," he whispered, stroking his own long one. "And the clothes. And the build."

"So _everybody_ had beards? Even the women?" Now that was something I might have to see to believe. A whole race of large, muscly, bearded women!

"Some just have stubble, or a little on the sides," Bofur said with a grin, taking out his own pipe and taking a small stick from the fire to light it. "Bombur's wife has a full beard almost down to her waist, bright red and straight. She's really quite beautiful amongst dwarves."

"Bombur's got himself a hot wife?" I asked, feeling bad for being so shocked. I had only imagined him with someone like Mrs. Clause; anyone else except an equally as jolly and...well, _large_ woman just didn't suit my image of the larger dwarf.

Bofur just laughed at my reaction and Gandalf chuckled, letting out a long stream of smoke to mingle with the smoke from the fire. We finished our tea and soon Gandalf disappeared from the balcony as suddenly and silently as he had come, leaving just a faint trail of smoke out the only doorway behind him.

* * *

"So, like this?" I asked, proud because I was only _a little_ out of breath, lunging forward and awkwardly stabbing at Bilbo. I say "awkwardly" because how can one _comfortably_ take a serious swing at someone they don't want to hurt? I aimed a little to the side. Our tray of tea, milk, and sugar had been pushed closer to the fire and we used the large space, the marble cold under my feet as we got further away from the fireplace.

Bilbo gripped his own sword with both hands and leaped away, the sound of metal hitting metal harsh on my ears and it made me even less enthusiastic to continue. He nodded and lowered his sword a fraction of an inch, looking at me over the shiny blade.

"Aim a little closer, though."

I nodded and tried again, taking quick steps forward and swinging at him with my weapon. That horrible sound filled the room again and I stepped back, really wanting to stop but before I could say anything Bilbo stepped forward, his sword raised again.

"Better. Faster now, and _try_ to hit me." Bilbo added that last bit with an exaggerated sigh, followed by a smile.

"I don't _like_ stabbing at things," I said, trying to sigh with that same long-suffering tone.

"I can't imagine many people do-" Bilbo paused and blocked a half-assed swipe of my sword, and one of the dwarves called out a quick tip as Bilbo moved closer. "-but I'm sure we will all need to know how to do it properly before we reach Erebor."

I nodded and continued a little more than half-heartedly...maybe three-quarters-heartedly. It was difficult to train when I had never used anything larger than my pocket-knife, and even with that in my hand Kili had brushed me off to the side a little too easily for my liking. Next time something like that came up, I wanted to be ready.

I _did_ , I really did. But practicing for a future scenario with someone who had just as much training with a sword as I did was more difficult than I had imagined. We would take turns, throwing wild swings and clumsily blocking...I was really glad that most of the dwarves that were _really really good_ with weapons had left the balcony to the rest of us. There were still a few dwarves that had stayed, but half of them didn't seem to pay attention and that was a little too much attention for my liking. One of them called something out but over the ring of metal, I couldn't hear what they had said.

I had seen Cody not too far off, by the railing and sitting with this back to where Bilbo and I were practicing. When I got another glimpse in his direction, though, he had disappeared. I was still pissed that he called me out on not wanting to come with the Company. That small spark of rage at him comments - he _dared_ to bring Bilbo into it - had me swinging my sword just a little closer to Bilbo than I had intended. He jumped back and the block was a little sloppy - he was just as taken aback as I was.

For a moment I just stood there, staring at my sword because I hadn't done anything like _that_ since Balin tried to step around me to get to Cody. That felt like a long time ago, and I was starting to lose track of exactly how long I had been away from home.

"I think I'm done for today," I said slowly, putting the sword away and taking the thing off of my belt and setting it beside the fire. Homesickness would strike me at random times; sometimes I could think of home for hours before it would hit me and other times (like this time) the second the thought of home came to me my stomach twisted into knots and my heart jumped up into my throat.

My smaller knife - still more comfortable in my hand than the larger dagger - was still in my back pocket. It pressed a little too hard into my butt when I sat down with my back against the cold wall but it's presence was more comforting than uncomfortable, so I left it there.

That and the quarter was really all that I had left - possessions-wise, at least. Cody was from home but the way he could rile me up over something like stories over a campfire made me briefly wish that he had stayed home, that I had been here alone. Bilbo sat next to me by the wall, his feet stretched out in front of him and his sword laying across his lap. I stretched my legs out, our feet right next to each other - and great, now along with homesickness I had _body_ sickness. My feet back home were small - even for a girl - and at the very very most they had some peach-fuzz on the top. My brothers would make fun of me for my small feet, but if they could see me now there would be a whole new slew of teasing phrases. It would go on and on until I went screaming to my mom.

I gulped.

The thoughts of home and memories of roughhousing with my brothers and messy dinners and letting my mom braid my hair - she had to bribe me with treats, of course - were all making it difficult to breath properly. Home felt so, so far away from me at the moment that it was starting to physically hurt.

"We might do a little better next time to ask one of them for help," Bilbo said with a smile, staring over at the group of dwarves by the railings when I glanced over at him.

"I don't know if fighting is my thing," I said quietly, keeping my eyes glued to the jumping flames in front of me.

"Do you mind if I ask you a question? It's about your home, so I understand if you would rather-"

"You can ask," I said firmly, smiling at the awkward way Bilbo was juggling his words.

"Have you ever fought at home?"

"I punched someone once." I paused and looked to Bilbo. His eyebrows were raised but he didn't look at me - his cheeks were still a little red. "It wasn't really a good punch. It was sort of half a slap. I couldn't make up my mind so I just sort of..." I waved my hand in the air clumsily. "Well, I hit him, that's what counts."

"Really?"

"Got suspended and everything," I said with a grin, pausing in my pride for just a moment because that really wasn't something to be so proud of.

"Suspended?"

"Yeah, from school. If you do bad stuff like that then they send you home for a couple of days or so. That got me three days." I could never really tell if Bilbo was understanding me or just staying quiet because he didn't want to ask more questions. It would normally drive me nuts to not know if what I was saying was making any sense but the silence around the fire was comfortable now...even the dwarves by the balcony had fallen silent. I was tired from the practicing, warm from the fire and full from dinner - a perfect time to enjoy the fire for a little while longer and then go to bed.

It hadn't lasted. Nothing good and comfortable and _nice_ seemed to last in Middle Earth.

Thorin rushed into the room, red-faced and out of breath. "Get your things. We're leaving."


	15. Time To Show Off What Holly Morgan Is Made Of

I knew we would be leaving Rivendell sometime soon. The dwarves had never truly unpacked and every time food was taken from the dining room to the balcony, bits and pieces were stored away into Nori's pack or in the black cauldron that Bombur saved from the river-fiasco. Either they were pack-rats, or they also knew we would be leaving soon.

But in the middle of the night, right when we were all settling down for bed? Why not first thing in the morning, when we would have energy, and _light_?

I didn't dare ask Thorin. After he stormed into the room and ordered everyone to gather their things, he went and stood with Balin near the railing, and I couldn't hear what they were talking about. I got my few things and because mine were next to Cody's, we stood awkwardly next to each other while the dwarves shouldered their packs.

"Are you going to apologize?" I asked.

"Probably not."

"I didn't really expect you to."

"I don't like apologizing," he said stiffly.

"I know. That's why I wasn't expecting a heartfelt apology." He snorted but didn't turn away from me and I grinned; that was as close to an apology as I would get out of him without twisting one of his boobs.

I looked around the room, nearly black now that someone had put the fire out. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the dimmer light of the moon, but even though I couldn't make out every detail, I tried to take in as much of the beautiful city as I could as we filed out of the room. This could be the last time we would ever see Rivendell. Or elves, for that matter, because I had no idea how many there were in Middle Earth.

It was nearly impossible to see the ground ahead of me, so I kept a hand on Cody's shoulder and he followed the dwarf in front of him. We left through a small door in the back of the city, me and Bilbo being the only ones taking glances back. Slowly my eyes began to adjust, and once I was sure I wouldn't topple over the cliff I let go of Cody and glanced over the ledge. It hadn't felt like we had been walking that long but the slope was steep, and we were nearly halfway up the mountain in a short amount of time.

The trees around the elven city were black but the white rooftops and marble floors were easy to spot, looking as if they were glowing in the moonlight. Magical; that would be how I would always remember that city.

"Why are we leaving now, and without Gandalf? We can't wait until morning?" I turned to ask Bilbo over my shoulder, keeping my voice low because I really didn't want anyone thinking I was questioning Thorin.

"He doesn't trust the elves."

"Well I gathered that," I said with a grin, but Bilbo couldn't see me and I hoped that he could hear it in my voice. "None of the dwarves seem very fond of them."

"He thinks they'll try to stop their quest," Bilbo said, his voice so quiet that I almost didn't hear him over the stomping of the dwarves.

"He was really weird after Elrond stitched my arm up," I commented, remembering how I felt so cornered while he questioned me about what I had said to the elf. Paranoid didn't seem like quite a strong enough word for that awkward memory. "Why would they care about it?"

"A dragon being awoken wouldn't settle well with them, I imagine."

"Oh, right." _The dragon._

It was surprising how easily that one detail had slipped my mind since we stepped foot in Rivendell. All the dangers of Middle Earth seemed to melt away inside the safety of the thick marble walls. Of course they would be scared that we would wake a dragon...I imagined a dragon could do quite a bit of damage if it could hold up a mountain. The safety of Rivendell had my mind so far away from the quest at hand; I had been able to dwell on thoughts of home and taking a bath (and I may have snuck off for a second one). But now we were back in the wild...with all the creepy-crawly creatures...at night.

And apparently we were going to be traveling _all_ night.

About an hour into the hike, my eyes were finally adjusted completely and I was really wishing that I had slept in a bit more this morning because exercising while tired did not wake me up like I briefly thought it would. The sights over the cliff weren't nearly as interesting when it all faded to black, so all I had to look at was the dark, rocky ground beneath my gross feet and Cody's back (which isn't as fascinating as he seems to think it is). Perhaps it was better that we couldn't see how high up we were. I wasn't horrible with heights, but I had gotten glimpses of the mountains in the distance as we traveled, and anybody in their right mind wouldn't at least get a little dizzy if they were looking down a cliff like that. Yes, I definitely didn't want to know exactly how high up we were.

I thought some of the dwarves might chatter while we walked, but ever since we snuck out of Rivendell the entire Company was completely silent. Their boots were loud on the rocky ground, but no voices carried over and we marched on.

"Where do you think we're going now?" Cody whispered over his shoulder, breaking that silence almost an hour into our hike.

"I have no idea." I had seen the map, but what lay between here and that large Lonely Mountain was lost to me now.

"We will be going over the Misty Mountains." I recognized that voice as Balin's, hushed as it was and a few dwarves in front of me.

"Kinda sounds like a stripper name," Cody said with a snigger, too quite for anyone else to hear thank God, because what if they didn't even have strippers and we had to explain that? Knowing Cody, we would all get a demonstration and embarrassingly enough I had seen that man in heels and fishnet stockings...and now I was shaking more than just the image of strippers from my mind.

"Just be quite and walk, please," I said, trying not to sound too exasperated because he would surely push more buttons just because.

"Fine, grumpy. Have it your way."

* * *

Despite everything...despite the rain and wind and cold and _miserableness_ of walking through the Misty Mountains, I had to admit that they were beautiful. Large, sharp summits disappeared into the clouds and valleys ran like rivers between the peaks. The path that we had been on for the past six hours was just wide enough for one dwarf to pass, and the ledge was still too close for my liking so I walked with my shoulder pressed as close to the stone wall as possible. In a way, they reminded me of the Cascade Mountain Range back home, though I had never had the _pleasure_ of experiencing those mountains like I now had these.

After hours and hours of walking on rough and wet stone, my feet weren't nearly as sore as I would expect them to be - thank _fucking_ God! I suppose I had the thick skin and fur to thank for that, though I was far from willingly _looking_ at them, let alone thanking them. I would trade them for blistered and cold feet if it meant that I had my smaller and hairless ones back. At least I could _look_ at those without wanting to cry.

"Why won't this rain just stop?" Cody grumbled from ahead of me, shoulders hunched and hood pulled over his head like the rest of us.

"It's rain, it doesn't give a crap if you're miserable," I snapped, tilting my head back just a bit and opening my mouth. I got a few drops of rain from the edge of my hood but it did little to ease the burn in my throat. We had not stopped...we had taken _zero_ breaks since last night, and my throat was not happy with me for that.

"I'm hungry. I don't think I've eaten since that last city-"

"Rivendell."

"-yeah, Rovenbell." I rolled my eyes. The wind pushed the hem of the cloak around my feet but it was not strong enough for him not to hear me. "I'm thirsty too, think we'll come across a river or something?" I didn't answer. I really hoped that he would just stop talking but it didn't look like that would happen while he was still up on the ledge with us. I glanced over the edge...wouldn't he die before he actually hit the bottom?

 _Not a bad way to go_ , I thought with a groan when he kept complaining.

"My feet are hurting too. When will be be stopping? I don't think my legs were meant to carry me this far."

"Stop complaining," I said, but I was promptly ignored.

"I would kill for some bread. No wait! York patties. Yeah, I want some york patties."

"Quit talking about food, you idiot. You're not helping."

"You know those little gummy bears my grandma bought us from Germany? Those were awesome, I want some of those. I don't know what they put in them but _any_ food-"

"Would you just _shut up!_ Shut. Up!" I screamed and the entire company stopped along the cliff. My face would normally be red with embarrassment at the moment, but right now I was too furious to care who was looking at me. Cody spun around, his back pressing to the wall and I took the opportunity to step closer. "You're not the only one who's hungry and thirsty and tired and wet. You're just the only _ass_ who's got so little respect for the people around you that you feel the need to tell us all what we're _already feeling!_ So just stop talking before I throw you off this ledge!"

I brushed past him - realizing after a moment that I came _very_ close to the ledge, myself - and caught a glimpse of Bofur as he spun around and urged the Company forward. I followed the group quickly, not turning back to see if Cody was right behind me or not. I really didn't care about how he was feeling at the moment because now my anger was slowly seeping away and the rain pounding on my head and shoulders was soothing.

No more talk of food or water or sore muscles interrupted our walk for the rest of the day, and even though I was tired and hungry and thirsty, being able to walk in quiet misery was glorious.

The silence was broken not moments after I reveled in it, by a thunderous boom that shook the ground under my feet. I didn't even realize I had screamed until after the horribly pathetic sound left me. I opened my eyes and looked to Cody behind me, having immediately thrown myself against the wall to keep from toppling over the ledge.

"What the hell is that?" Cody's wide eyes were fixed on something past me and I whipped my head around so fast my neck cracked and pain shot down my back. I did catch a glimpse of what he was looking at before Bofur stepped in front of me. Something massive...unbelievable _huge_ was standing as tall as the mountain across the valley from us. I was impossibly gigantic, putting those trolls to shame and it was _moving._

"Hold onto something!" someone screamed, and not moments later the ground under our feet jolted.

Bofur was saying something to me but I could only make out a few words. He stood in front of me, his back pressing me against the wall uncomfortably but I was _not_ about to complain because the ground shook and a bang rang through the air and at least _something_ was keeping me from toppling to my death. I was briefly aware that I was chanting a mantra of "oh my god" and "I don't want to die like this". Somewhere Cody's screams were drowned out by the yells of the dwarves.

There was the shortest moment of calm, where only the sounds of the rain and wind made it all feel like I may have woken up from a terrible nightmare before things got a _whole_ lot worse. The ground wasn't just shaking or jerking around under our feet, it was _moving._ The _entire_ mountain was moving under us and we had just a small ledge to stand on.

"Hold on to something! Grab the wall!" Bofur was yelling. I had no room to turn and grab the wall so I grabbed onto him and just stood there, frozen and waiting for the mountain to tip just a little further and send us all falling into the valley.

A particularly loud bang left my ears sore and ringing and somewhere ahead of us on the ledge, some of the dwarves were screaming.

 _Oh God, some of them fell._ My stomach flipped and the mountain gave another jolt, this time tipping us back against the wall and Bofur was now thrown hard against me, knocking any breath I had out of my lungs.

"Come on, move up there," Bofur said, stepping away for just a moment and grabbing my shoulder. I was hauled - _very_ much against my will - away from the wall and for a minute felt like a hot potato. Each dwarf grabbed my shoulders and pushed me forward, my own feet stumbling and just barely keeping me upright but their hands kept me from falling. I normally would have stopped and demanded an explanation for all the manhandling, but I had just almost died and several of the dwarves were probably dead and we would _all_ probably die before the end of the day. My throat was sore from being thirsty for so long and the sudden screaming, I felt like a block of stone, unable to move or do anything except go where I was told.

"We need you to go ahead." Thorin's voice was loud in my ears and I saw a few dwarves on the ground ahead of us. Fili was kneeling over Kili and with a jolt I realized that _everyone_ was still here. Not everyone looked to be in the best condition - several laying on the ground - but they were all still here. I was so relieved I had forgotten what Thorin had said to me.

"You want me to what?"

"The path ahead is not as wide as it is here. You're the smallest. I need you to go ahead and find an empty cave - there should be one not too far from here."

"You want me to go alone?"

"Yes."

For a moment I just stood and gulped. There was Thorin in front of me (not exactly a _calming_ figure), telling me I had to leave the Company and walk along a ledge that would just barely be wide enough for me to pass. _No, oh-ho-no, never in a million years_ , my mind seemed to be screaming at me to turn around. It didn't even matter if I went back to Rivendell, the Shire, or tried to find home... _anywhere_ was better than this horrid place. These beautiful mountains would be the death of me and was it all even worth our lives?

But there was the Company of dwarves and the contract that I had signed felt heavy in my pocket. With a deep breath, I realized that it wasn't just about the contract...and it wasn't just about _me_ finding _my_ home. These dwarves had all been wandering this world for who-knows-how-long and here they were, ready to _fight a dragon_ to get their home back. And all they had asked of me so far was to find a cave. I regretted that I even thought about turning around and fleeing, leaving the Company to their quest after they asked only one thing of me.

"I'll try." My voice was not as strong or loud as I had expected; it quivered and I tried to smile my most convincing smile, but Thorin's face was impossible to read and it dropped immediately. Thorin nodded and pressed his back to the wall, letting me pass by and it was only after I recovered from the shock that I noticed he had smacked my shoulder as I left.

I could see the too-thin stretch of stone ahead of the dwarves and I felt my body go cold at the thought of falling from the ledge. There would be no Bofur to keep me on my feet and hold me steady, and what if those monsters - as large as the mountains themselves - came back?

I probably should have felt heroic...stepping past the large manly dwarves - me! A small _girl_ _-_ and searching out a safe place for everyone to stay. I didn't feel heroic at all, though. I felt horrible for even thinking of turning and running and the sheer amount of willpower it took to keep my feet moving forward was staggering.

I kept my shoulder against the wall and stepped over the dwarves that were on the ground, my limbs feeling numb and cold.

"Where are you going?" Fili asked, taking his eyes off his brother for only a moment.

"Finding a cave, I think," I answered, still unsure of myself when I left the dwarves far behind me. Their voices died away as I walked and soon it was just me, the wind, and the rain.

"Okay, you can do this. You can _definitely_ do this," I mumbled to myself. "Just find a cave. That's all. An empty cave." I paused for a moment. If they're needing an _empty_ cave, are there _full_ ones up here? What else was up in these mountains besides mountain-sized monsters? Were there smaller ones too? I never thought I would be wishing for a world of larger monsters...at least they wouldn't be able to fill up caves.

I groaned and continued forward, pulling out the larger knife and feeling around my pockets, making sure that my pocketknife was still there. I held it tightly in my hands, my back against the wall and I sidestepped forward.

A few minutes later and I was still walking, my nerves now turning my stomach upside down and my hands had begun shaking hard, and it had nothing to do with the cold.

"'Just find us an empty cave, Holly,'" I said, deepening my voice to sound like Thorin. Once the shock of exactly _what_ it was I was doing had worn off a shudder of fear ran through me. I could feel my mood turning sour and tried to simply keep my eyes on the ground in front of me and _not_ on the ledge that was just inches from my feet. "'You need to pull your weight and do useful things.' I can do this."

I let out a loud breath of relief when I had scooted around a corner and saw just a small opening. Without thinking I rushed inside, taking deep breaths and feeling the wall with a hand as I walked in further. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust, and the second I saw that it was large enough for everybody I let out a whooping laugh.

"Uh, hello?" I said, the only sound coming back to me was my own shocking-loud laugh. Oh God, did I really sound like that? My voice was terrible and even my echo was shaking.

When nothing else responded to my call, I left the cave and very, very carefully walked along the ledge, back to the dwarves.

"There's a cave up ahead, maybe a few minutes walking."

"Good job," Thorin said, a genuine smile spreading across his face and he turned, yelling for the dwarves to follow me. I hadn't felt heroic before, but now I sure did. My stomach was still flipping and my hands were still shaking but I lead the dwarves along the wall, pointing out a spot that dipped sharply down so that Fili - supporting Kili - wouldn't mow me down. It was a slower process to move with the dwarves, who all took short steps and peered over the ledge with uneasy eyes but we neared the cave after ten minutes.

"It's just around this corner," I said, trying very hard to keep the shake from my voice.

Soon, I took a deep breath of stale air and grinned, bringing the dwarves through the small opening and into the cave. They immediately spread out and searched the cave, finding the back wall and confirming that it was empty.

"Aye, this'll do us fine," Dwalin said with a slap to my shoulder that nearly had my knees buckling.

* * *

It was hard to describe how relaxing it was, sitting in the dark with soaking wet clothes and an empty stomach and a sore throat. Cody sat next to me and Bombur was on my other side. Nothing about our situation was comfortable - we weren't even allowed a fire - but after a moment of settling down, Nori brought out scraps of food that he had taken from the elves. I saw Thorin give the sneaky dwarf a disapproving stare but no one dared to say anything except thanks to Nori as the food was passed around.

"Thank you for going ahead," Cody said, voice quiet because it seemed like _everything_ echoed around the cave.

"It was about time my size came in handy." I grinned around a mouthful of food, chewing slowly to savor it because who knew how much more Nori had packed away while we had stayed in Rivendell. "Sorry I snapped at you."

"I kind of deserved it, but apology accepted," he said with a shrug and we sat in the darkening cave, cloaks pulled tight around our shoulders and listening to the whispers of the Company.

I just enjoyed the fact that I was alive - miserable, cold, wet, thirsty - but _alive_ and so was everyone else.

"We'll stay here tonight and head out in the morning. Everyone get some sleep." Thorin didn't have to say that twice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was particularly difficult to write, because three-quarters of the way through my document decided to become corrupted and all my data was gone. GONE. I felt like I went through some stages of grief before I was able to reclaim my mojo and rewrite it. Believe me, I'm finding a new way to store my data because I do NOT want that happening to me ever again. But can I just say how much that sucked? I loved this chapter that I had written and I felt like I'll never be able to rewrite it to it's former glory, but I did try very hard so that's why this is out a bit later than normal. Reviews would be lovely - or anything to boost my mood which took a nosedive after this experience.


	16. Chin Up And Talk To Me, Baby Girl

Sleep was easy enough to come by in the cave, even though I went to bed scared and hungry and very very thirsty (and ready to snap if one complaint dropped from Cody's lips). I guess it was the sudden drop in adrenaline; I felt déjà vu, remembering the attack from the orcs and how quickly I had crashed once we were safe in Rivendell. This cave was not nearly as safe as that elven city, but it was something. At least we didn't have to sleep on the ledge in the wind and rain.

Bombur's snores didn't even bother me like they had before - I noticed that right before I drifted off to sleep. I was snug between Bombur's larger body and Cody, and it didn't take long for the chill to leave me, allowing me a small amount of comfortable rest.

* * *

Something sharp jabbed into my side and I was pushed onto the ground. Loud, uncontrolled laughter came from somewhere above me and I adjust my legs, kicking my older brother, Lucas, off of me and sent him sprawling onto the ground in a fit of laughter.

"Be nice!" my mother's voice rang out from somewhere else in the house; her response whenever any sound signaled roughhousing.

"Of course, mom!" Lucas called out and after a moment of scrapping on the ground, he had an arm pinning my own high above my head and his other around my neck. Rug-burn made my elbow ache and his knee dug hard into my back, and I tried to wiggle away.

"Apologize!" Lucas laughed, his voice lower now that our mother was onto us.

"Never!" I wheezed, and if I could breath I would have had a better response.

"Just apologize, Holly." Danny's voice was exasperated and he turned the volume on the TV up a few notches, sitting with his legs crossed on the couch and looking as annoyed as ever.

"Never! His arms are tiny!" I cried out, struggling against Lucas's admittedly-large-arms and finally wiggling away enough to kick at his legs.

"Dog-pile!" Sam screamed and all of a sudden both Lucas and I were knocked to the side. Lucas's large arms were loose enough for me to get away and I tried to roll, unable to get away now that Sam's heavy weight was holding us both down.

"You guys are so loud! Be quiet!" Danny moaned, turning the TV up higher. A crying woman sobbed something about an uncontrollable daughter and an audience booed loudly over our tussle.

"Sam! Do not dog-pile your sister!" My mother's voice was louder this time – just barely heard over Dr. Phil's calming voice – and we could hear her stomps echoing down the hallway.

"Yeah, Sam!" I yelled, trying hard not to laugh. "Don't dog-pile your dear sister."

"My _dear_ sister needs to learn not to mess with people twice her size," Sam said with a grin and licked his finger. I shrieked and kicked and punched to get away, very narrowly escaping a wet willy.

"Stop it! Now!" My mother stormed into the room, apron and dishrag in hand, able to stop two fully-grown men in their tracks with the glare she leveled at us all. "I would like to have _one_ holiday dinner that didn't end in a black eye."

"Thank you," Danny said, throwing his head back. She sent a pointed look to those of us on the floor.

"And do something with your hair, dear."

"It was an accident!" I yelled, ignoring her comment and pointing an accusing finger at my laziest brother from my awkward position on the floor. "You don't call a lady fat!"

"Lady?" Danny snorted, his foot tapping the coffee table in an irritated tick.

"Or your brother!" Sam added, waiting until our mom sighed and left the room before sneaking up behind the couch with a slobbery finger. A moment later, Danny's screams rang through the house. I let out a cackle of joy and the fight was on...not even Dr. Phil could be heard over the noise.

"That was _disgusting!_ I could get swimmers ear! You fucking _idiot!_ " Danny yelled, taking a large pillow from the couch and throwing it across the room at Sam's retreating figure. "Do you know how long it will take me to wash your gross _spit_ out of my ear?!"

"No swearing and do not give your brother swimmers ear! Dinner in ten!"

"Ooh, pot roast," I said with a grin, pushing Sam against the wall as everyone rushed to the kitchen.

* * *

I woke with a start, something aching on my elbow and I briefly wondered where I would get rug-burn on a stone floor. I immediately regretted waking up at all. The dream I had wasn't a dream...it was a memory, bright and clear as it had been years ago when it happened. I would take reliving that memory over waking up in Middle Earth any day, especially when it meant waking up in a cold dark cave with an empty stomach.

_Oh man, mom's pot roast would hit the spot about now._

"Holly, get up, now!" Cody yelled, his knee kicking my arm as he scrambled up.

My disappointment vanished into a flurry of fear and cries. The stone floor under us was tilting and I didn't even make it to my feet before I was sliding. A sharp rock on the floor cut my foot and my yelp disappeared into the commotion. Something hit my shoulder hard and then we were all falling; a flailing mass of screams and kicks and accidental-punches.

We had survived the giant moving-mountains only to be killed when we finally found shelter. Shelter that _I_ had found for us. I felt guilty for just a moment before even _that_ was taken from me, and something _solid_ hit my head and hit me _hard_.

Something smashed against my throat and for a moment I lost my breath, dizzy and unable to breath or scream or yell for help, and my body was tossed around and into god-knows what. I had never had such a moment of sheer helplessness in my life – tossing and turning and the moment I found something to hold onto it was ripped away from my grasp. The wind was repeatedly knocked from my lungs and it felt like an eternity of endlessly falling before it all stopped.

It took a moment for my senses to return, and once they did I really wished that they hadn't. I sat in (and partially under) a pile of groaning dwarves, much more uncomfortable than any dog-pile I had found myself in before, and in a basket that looked like it was hanging over a cliff. I would have gladly remained oblivious to the world, or perhaps go back to my memories and relive what this world had taken from me.

"Are you okay?" Bombur asked, his head right beside mine though his body was completely buried under his brothers. I don't think I could have answered even if I wanted to. I took deep breaths, trying to calm the panic that had been threatening to spill out and simply trying not to cry.

That feeling of being heroic and helping the Company to find shelter was torn away, leaving me feeling more lost and scared and guilty than I had ever been – both in Middle Earth and back home. It was paralyzing, but the fearful tones of the dwarves around, on, and under me kept me from completely losing my shit.

"What the _fucking hell_ are those!?" Cody's scream tore through the briefest of silences, more terror filling his voice than I had heard before.

Someone shifted and answered from underneath me, "Goblins."

I craned my neck to see where he was looking. It felt like ice was running through my veins and closer than I ever would have liked, deformed and demonic faces were screaming at us. All of that despair and helplessly evaporated into screams and horror as the terrifying creatures scrambled onto us, kicking and pushing and pulling everyone to their feet.

Teeth snapped at me and hissing voices screamed in a language I had never heard before, laughing and yelling. I stumbled, unable to see where we were going and it felt like all I could do was rip my arms and hair away from the hands of the goblins.

I felt a pair of hands on my shoulders and before I could twist to give one of those disgusting things a swift kick to the nether-regions – did they even _have_ nether-regions? - I was lifted and moved. After a moment, shoulders bumped against me and pushed me forward, someone's knees hitting my legs from behind and I realized I was surrounded by dwarves.

I turned to whoever had grabbed me, only barely able to _think_ about thanking Fili before the goblins were gone, as swift and quickly as they had come. The dwarves around me froze and held me in place.

Nobody dared to move for a long time, letting the screams and that horrible language echo around under the mountain until it was just the sound of the Company panting for air.

"Where are we now?" I thought the voice had belonged to Dori, from somewhere in front of me but I couldn't see a thing above the shoulders and heads that blocked my view. I wasn't even sure I _wanted_ to see...just let me be blind to whatever horrible place those monsters called home.

 _Just close your eyes, and go back to sleep_. Apparently, saying it enough times in your head does not make it so. This time, the disappointment and sickness that made my stomach ache from more than hunger didn't disappear as it had before. There were no terrifying creatures or a fall that had nearly been the death of me (that seemed to be happening a lot in this world) to distract me.

"We're in some sort of dungeon. I think we can relax for a moment," Balin said, trying to calm everyone down which, by the way, did not work one bit. I seeked out Cody in the mass of dwarven bodies and when I found him, that same expression spread across his face; wide green eyes and mouth gaping open as he looked around.

There wasn't much to see – a stone room that looked like it should house half of our numbers.

"Is everybody alright?" Thorin's voice rang out loud in the dungeon, making me flinch but the murmurs from the dwarves eased just a little bit of my guilt. He turned to me just then, the Company spreading out a bit now and there was a small amount of room to move around. "Good, at least you didn't get any of us killed."

He turned and disappeared from my sight, but that stinging remark made it difficult to feel relieved at all. We were alive, yes, but just barely and no thanks to yours truely. Cody met my gaze for just a moment before I turned away, not wanting any more eyes on me while my heart felt like it was sinking further and further beneath the Misty Mountains.

"What do we do now?"

"These bars don't look that strong," Kili answered, standing by what I could barely make out was a gate in the light. The mass of dwarves moved towards the door that frankly, I hadn't remembered being pushed through, and took me with them.

"We can take that down," Gloin yelled from behind me, heaving an axe over his shoulder and stepping towards the door. Several others stepped out of his way (and wisely so), but it was Balin who stopped him from leveling that door in one blow.

"We cannot be making too much noise. We don't know how far they've gone and there might be a few still nearby to stand guard." After a moment Gloin seemed to agree, and the head of his axe hit the stone floor far too loudly for my comfort. The noise echoed around us but after a moment of waiting in silence, no screams from those terrible creatures came towards us and the Company let out a resounding breath of relief.

"So what do we do now? We cannot just wait for them to come back," Fili asked, standing by his brother and sheathing his own sword.

Trolls, mountain-sized giants, and now goblins. I felt sick thinking about what else could be out there if we did get out of the dungeon. _If_ being the thing that made me want to sit on the floor, wrap my arms over my head and just disappear into the stone.

"The lock looks fairly simple."

"Thank Mahal, goblins don't have a better system for keeping prisoners."

"I think I can pick it from here."

The Company stood as close to the door as possible and I could barely make out Nori with his arm through the bars, face contorted in concentration and everyone waited with drawn breaths. Why didn't they understand? Even _if_ we got out of this dungeon and even _if_ we made it out of the Misty Mountains alive, there would be so much more danger ahead of us – more monsters and more scraps with death until we all met our ends. Would we even make it to the dragon and if we did, what then?

I had already met my end... I _died_ once in my last home, and the fact that I would die here at the hands of those horrifying creatures – either the goblins or orcs or dragon – was beyond paralyzing.

"Come on, chin up," Cody said with a smile, tapping my chin with his knuckle. My gaze flickered to him, unable to fix on his face for more than a second. "Are you okay? Hey, don't listen to Thorin. Nobody knew about the goblins when we used that cave. Anyone could have made that mistake and hey, everyone's alright."

But they wouldn't be alright for long and why was everybody _fucking alright_ with that?

"You okay?" Cody asked, voice smaller now but I couldn't find the words to answer – even to lie – to him. "Seriously, Holls, just say something." But I couldn't. "Snap out of it! Please?"

"Is she alright?"

"She's just standing there. Ugh, and she's really sweaty," Cody said with a groan. I was briefly aware that his hands were on my shoulders but I didn't feel much else.

"I think she's in shock." No, I wasn't in _shock_ , I was fully prepared to die and why wasn't everyone else? It was going to happen, I knew it.

"I got it open!" Nori yelled and immediately the Company shushed him. The gate creaked open but was it any use leaving? It would happen here or it would happen out there, or we would die as a charred crisp from the dragon...either way the outcome was the same.

"Wait, wait!" Balin yelled, shushing everybody's hushed whispers of excitement. "Do you hear that?"

"Someone's coming! Shut the door!" Thorin whispered, rushing forward and pushing Nori to the side, grabbing the gate and closing it.

"Holly, Holls. Come on, baby girl, speak to me," Cody said, voice rushed and panic renewed. I just wanted to go back to my dream and my memories. It didn't matter anymore if I would ever go back and see my brothers and my parents and my friends, but I wanted to relive those memories one last time.

"Keep quiet!"

"Get back here, Ori!"

"Snap out of it!"

"We can take them this time!"

The dungeon fell into silence, where I could finally hear the faint sounds of footsteps growing nearer; just one pair. I couldn't bear to look up and see who it was at the gate. Cody's hands were still on my shoulders and at one point I could feel him shaking me, but everything else drifted away when a scratchy voice called out to us, "The Master has woken from his nap."


	17. Down In The Deep Of Goblin Town

Something hard hit my cheek and I blinked the stars away. Dark cave, whispering dwarves, and a terrified Cody; it all came back and hit me like a train...and what the hell had I been doing before this?

"We're going, come on," Cody said, his voice a good octave higher which made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on ends. He only ever sounded like an opera singer when he was _really_ scared.

"Where are we going?"

"I don't know but move. Move! Move move move." Cody's voice was chanting in my ear and his hands were on my shoulders, pushing me out of the dungeon and up a pathway I barely remembered scrambling down before.

"What's happening?"

"Were you really not paying attention?" Cody hissed, the general noise that the dwarves made (which could be quite a lot) quieted down as soon as everyone was out of the dungeon.

"No, uh, I guess not," I whispered back. It didn't feel like I had been daydreaming, there was panic and then just nothing until Cody so _kindly_ slapped the be-jesus out of my cheek.

"Someone called The Master is up and we're going to go see him."

A Master of goblins? This day (night? Morning?) was just getting better and better.

Cody's hands were ripped from my shoulders as the Company shuffled along. At one point Dwalin was towering over me – and this was the first time that seeing his axes didn't make me want to run – and at another, Ori's shoulder was pressing into mine. He looked about as scared as Cody sounded, but before I could try and find any sort of comforting words that wouldn't make my voice shake, Dori pulled him away.  
"Over this bridge," a scratchy voice said and between Fili and Thorin I could see a smaller, disgusting creature with a deformed face pointing ahead.  
One by one, everyone moved across the bridge. No railings, of course, and the thing looked like it belonged in an Indiana Jones movie; it looked more like a prop to _terrify_ someone, not an actual mode of transportation. I took a few steps forward, pushed ahead by Cody and kept my eyes forward.  
 _Don't look down._ Definitely _don't look down._ That worked until about halfway across when Bombur took a heavy step on the bridge behind me and it lurched to the side. I would have yelped if I could breath, but my heart was currently pounding away somewhere in my throat and whatever I was about to scream died there.

"Keep going," Cody said, nudging me forward and I took several quick steps to make it over the bridge. The rickety thing gave another lurch and the dwarves let out a collective groan. I followed Cody, eyes glued to the ground ahead of me and it was only when I was far away from that horrible thing that I let out a breath of air.

Clearly, there was no time to stop and enjoy the fact that I was now not teetering on the edge of a bridge overlooking a black drop, because whoever was behind me pushed me forward and the Company was moving once more. I could hear cheers and screaming voices, but there was no way of telling where they were coming from. They came from above, below, and absolutely all around us, echoing off the walls.

We walked along rickety bridges – none like that first one, thank _God_ – along cliff edges and up and down slopes. It was impossible to tell where we were in the mountain, especially after that first tumble from the cave, and these twisting turns made that gut-wrenching feeling of being so completely lost even worse.

The cheering grew louder and the walls around the bridge we walked along opened up. Torches and fires line the cave wall, climbing high over our heads and low into the dark abyss below us. The sheer space under the mountain would have been awe-inspiring if it wasn't filled with those fowl creatures, cheering and jeering and screaming and throwing things at us.

The bridge (thankfully made of stone) widened and the Company spread out, no longer single file and keeping close ranks. We moved ahead onto a wooden platform, near the center of the cave and being completely surrounded by those fowl things was something from a nightmare. Someone shouldered me further into the group – not that I was complaining one bit – and the goblins were gone from my sight.

"What do you think's gonna happen?" I asked when I spotted Cody, his back to me but his hair made it easy to identify him among the heavily-haired dwarves.

"I dunno, but I think _that_ 's the Master," he whispered, turning his head just enough for me to see his profile.

I couldn't see. I was pretty sure I didn't _want_ to see whatever it was that headed this group of monsters. Unfortunately, the dwarves ahead of me parted just enough so I caught a glimpse of something massive, a _huge_ goblin wearing far too little clothing and a crown on his bulbous head.

He was saying something – or singing, if his waving, flabby arms were any indication – and hopping around the ground in front of the Company. All around us were smaller goblins, screaming and cheering and singing along to a song I couldn't make out. They came closer to the Company and soon dwarves were pressing in all around me, shoulders hitting my ears and I brought my arms up to protect my head once more; the thing really didn't deserve all the abuse it was going through and it was starting to ache.

The screams and jeers grew closer until the Company was screaming as well, pushing and pulling and fighting off the disgusting little creatures. I was very grateful that they had pushed me into the center of the group...because if these fully-grown dwarves were having trouble fighting off the goblins then who knew how long I would last.

"Quiet!" The scream tore through all the other noise under the mountain and even the goblins around us grew quiet. "Now, what brings so many dwarves so far into my mountain?" The wood creaked under his weight as he retreated to a thrown, though I could only grab glimpses of him between the dwarves around me.

"Did you enjoy my song?" he asked when no one from the Company spoke up. Could they even hear it over the fowl goblins that were screaming?

"That was no song," Balin cried out, his voice echoing around the massive cave. "It was an abomination!" The dwarves cheered but the goblins quickly silenced those on the outside of the circle, jabbing sharp spears and hitting as many as they could before they were quieted by the King.

"Abomination, mutation, deviation. That's all you're ever going to find under this mountain," he said, his voice full of amusement as his tiny eyes scanned us. "Search them! Take their weapons."

The goblins jumped into the Company and I soon found that even being in the center, surrounded by the dwarves, did little to protect me from them. Ori let out a scream as he tried to fight them off and I ripped my arms away from their grasp, stumbling back and fighting them off as well as I could. I drew the knife from my side and managed to get one good slice into one of the larger ones before that was torn away and tossed to the ground. After a long minute of struggling and screaming, the goblins retreated and the Company drew back into it's circle, tighter than ever and I was in the middle once more.

"Who would be so bold as to come into my kingdom, _armed_?" The Goblin King stumbled off his throne, the wood creaking as he paced around. I could see the top of his head and that incongruous golden crown over the heads of the dwarves as he moved. A staff smacked onto the wood and occasionally – from the screams – it sounded like he was hitting his own goblins. "Who are you?" he screamed, his voice growing higher. "Are you thieves? Assassins?"

"Dwarves, your malevolence," a small voice croaked from behind us. "We found them in a cave, high on the mountainside."

"They're in league with the elves!" someone else cried out, and high over a head I could see a hand gripping a beautifully crafted candle holder.

"Nori," Dori groaned under his breath, his voice just barely audible though he was directly behind me.

"Sorry," the misbehaving dwarf whispered back.

There was a _thwack_ and a yelp and over Cody's shoulder I caught a glimpse of the Goblin King inspecting the candle holder. "Made in Rivendell?" He turned the thing over in his massive, boil-covered hands and scoffed. "Second Age, at best. We've no use for it, give it away."

He tossed it to the side and the clanking could be heard echoing through the cave as it fell into the black below.

"What are you doing under my mountain?"

"I can handle this." Oin's voice was confident as he pushed through the Company, his shoulder hitting my head and pushing me into Dwalin. The dwarves grumbled and complained but Oin was now stepping up to the Goblin King.

"I want the truth. No tricks," the Goblin King said, stepping back up to his throne and tossing his staff to a goblin beside him.

"You're going to have to speak up," Oin yelled, putting a hand to his ear and I noticed that his hearing trumpet was nowhere to be seen. "Your boys flattened my trumpet."

"I'll flatten more than your damned trumpet!" the Goblin King roared, stumbling off his throne and grabbing his staff in one motion. There were screeching and screams as he threw his staff out, swinging it over everyone's heads and I ducked, covering my head until I felt the dwarves around me begin to rise.

"If it's information you're wanting, I'm the one to ask," Bofur yelled, stepping up beside Oin and pointing frantically to his chest. There was a long pause, but I could see little after Cody stepped back and directly in front of me. The dwarves muttered but the Goblin King remained silent. "We were on the road – well, not so much a road, as a path. Actually, it's not even a path, really, now that I come to think of it. It's more of a track. Anyway, the point is, we were on this road, like a path but more like a track, and then we weren't. Which is a problem, because we were supposed to be in Dunland last Tuesday-"

"Visiting distant relative!" Dori stepped in front of his younger brother and yelled over the heads of the Company.

"I was supposed to be meeting an uncle on my mother's side-"

"Shut up!" the Goblin King yelled, cutting Bofur's ramblings off and quieting all of the murmurs that had been ringing around the cave. The goblins all around us ducked their heads and moved back, and I would have followed that instinct if my back wasn't already pressed against a dwarf. "If they will not talk, we will make them _squawk_!"

Screams and cheers rang out under the mountain.

"I don't want to squawk." I could barely hear Cody's voice in the commotion.

"Bring up the Mangler! I want the Bone Breaker! Start with the youngest!" At that, I shrank back and Cody stepped further back until he was sandwiching me between himself and whoever was behind me. His arm went back and he reached around wildly until I grabbed his hand and squeezed.

It was true that he was the youngest, though if they got a glimpse of me or Bilbo it would likely be one of us that would be the first to meet whatever it was they called the Mangler. I _really_ didn't want to know.

"Don't worry, miss," Nori said, directly behind me and grabbing my shoulder reassuringly. "We won't let a thing happen-"

Loud drums echoed through the cave and drowned out whatever else Nori was about to say. The screams grew louder and the shoulders of the dwarves around us were shifting as the goblins started attacking those on the outside of the circle.

"Wait!" I knew that voice. The entire cave died down at Thorin's command and he stepped up to the Goblin King.

"Well, well, well," he sang out, stepping back as a grin spread across his pasty face. "Look who it is; Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror. _King_ Under the Mountain." He disappeared from my view when he gave a ridiculously low bow. Some of the goblins around the Company screamed out and hissed at his name. "Oh, but wait," the Goblin King said, great amusement in his voice though he tried to feign surprise. "You don't have a mountain. And you're not a king, which makes you nothing."

Dwalin let out a growl from beside me but he was quickly silenced by something.

"I know somebody who would pay a pretty price for you head. Nothing attached, of course, just the head." The goblins around us let out excited growls. "Perhaps you know of whom I speak. I believe he is an old enemy of yours; a pale orc astride a white warg."

"Azog the Defiler was destroyed. He was slain in battle long ago!" A few of the dwarves let out cheers but Nori shifted uncomfortably behind me.

"So you believe," the Goblin King said with a laugh that dissolved into a fit of coughing. "Send word to the pale orc! Tell him that I've found his prize!"

The screams of the goblins grew louder than ever, cheering on their King as he danced and sang around the wooden structure that creaked and groaned under his massive weight.

"Bones will be shattered, necks will be wrung!" I could only make out some of the words of his crude song and the ones that I could hear, I wished I couldn't. "You'll be beaten and battered-"

The Company was tossed around, pushed and pulled in delight by those disgusting little things but Cody and Nori kept me sandwiched between them. In any other circumstance this would have been horrible but as I now had to admit that I was far smaller and less able to protect myself than I was before, I would have to remember to thank them later on. _If_ we got a later on. Who knew how long it would take this Azog orc to come and destroy us all.

A sharp scream tore through the crowd and for a moment I thought that a goblin had killed one of the Company. Dread filled me and I sank back into Nori until I realized that it _was_ a goblin that was screaming.

"I know that sword!" Over the top of Cody's head I saw the Goblin King retreat to his throne. "It is the Goblin Cleaver! The Biter!" The thrashing of the Company grew worse as the screams of the goblins turned to outrage. Several dwarves cried out and I could do nothing to help except make myself as small as I possibly could.

"The blade that sliced a thousand necks! Slash them!" he roared, throwing an arm out and commanding the goblins. "Beat them! Kill them! Cut off his head!"

"No!" Dwalin screamed, throwing a goblin off his own back and pushing through the Company. In the path he had created I could see a mass of furs and dark hair sprawled out on the ground, goblins on each side of Thorin and a sword raised high in the air.

I wasn't sure if Dwalin actually got to Thorin in time. I wasn't sure of anything because after a flash of bright light that left my eyes burning and a silence that had my ears ringing, my senses returned to me. The cave was silent and darker than before, and after a moment I realized that I was on the ground. Nori wiggled from under me and I quickly apologized, scrambling off of him and helping Cody to his feet.

I could hear soft footfalls and dreaded the fact that if we were okay, the goblins and their King probably were too.

"Are you okay?" Cody asked, his voice slurred as he struggled to stay up.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I whispered, feeling around my back pocket for my last weapon – my pocket knife. The Company was beginning to come to their senses as well and jumped to their feet, taking a moment to figure out just what it was that had happened.

"Take up arms," Gandalf's voice rang through the silent cave and it felt like a jolt ran through the entire Company. The sound of metal sliding on metal was more comforting than ever now that I knew the swords were in the hands of the dwarves. "Fight! Fight!"

A goblin came close to me and I swung at it, my knife doing little damage but distracting it from it's path to Balin. Dwalin's axe fell on it's shoulder a moment later and it dropped to the ground with a thud.

"Run! This way!" Gandalf said and without a second thought I did as I was told, my small knife doing little damage but at least it was something.

"Take this," Fili said, appearing beside me and placing a larger knife in my hand. It was heavy, heavier than any weapon I had ever used but I nodded and grabbed it, using it as best as I could against the goblins that stood between us and Gandalf.

"This way! Now!" Gandalf's long sword took out several goblins at once, slicing through necks and sliding easily into the disgusting bodies of the horrible creatures.

"Holly!" Cody yelled, grabbing my arm and jerking me away. The shining metal of a sword flashed where I had been just moments before and stuck into the wooden floor. I took my own sword and closed my eyes, jabbing it forward and gasping when something warm rushed down my hand. The goblin let out a shriek and in the hustle of the dwarves, it's body was pulled away from me and my knife slid out of it's throat.

There were loud crashes and screams as bodies were thrown from the wooden structure and fell into the black abyss below. Metal crashed against metal and disgusting screams were silenced with axes and knives.

"Follow me!" Gandalf screamed, and I saw the tip of his hat sway as he raced back down the path that we had been brought up. I followed, Cody right behind me and screaming as he jabbed his sword at any goblin that got too close. We ran along the stone path and I jumped over the bodies of the fallen goblins. There were more bridges but there was no time to stop and contemplate how safe they were. We crossed without thought and followed Gandalf down whichever pathway he chose.

I killed two goblins. _Two._ One with my knife through it's neck and the second when I lashed out with my small sword, ripping it out of it's shoulder and watching it stumble back and off the edge of the cliff.

"Keep going!" Someone yelled and it wasn't until then that I realized I had stopped moving at all, I was just watching where that last goblin had disappeared.

 _Keep going, keep going,_ I chanted, racing after the dwarves and slashing at any goblin that came close enough. At one point Dwalin was next to me, taking several goblins out in one swipe of his massive axe and in another, Oin was by my side. Screams came from everywhere and it was impossible to tell who it was, so I focused on running and stabbing.

There was a ladder used as a bridge and if I had a moment to think about it I would have panicked. But I didn't, and I followed Ori over the make-shift bridge, letting out a breath of air when I reached the other side and took one more goblin down with my larger knife.

Halfway across another - thankfully more stable - bridge the Company came to a stop. I pushed at another goblin who came too close and swiped at it's face, though it was Cody who killed it with his sword crashing down on it's head.

"Why've we stopped?" he asked, out of breath and blood dripping from above his hairline and I prayed it wasn't his.

A low, angry growl came from ahead and I spun around, coming face to face with the Goblin King. He was kneeling down on his hands and knees, still towering over me and smiling smugly when he came to his full height. I scrambled back and Gandalf stood before the entire Company, sword and staff raised over his head.

"You thought you could escape my kingdom?" he roared, swiping at Gandalf with his long staff. The Company jolted back to avoid the stick and a goblin was thrown off the bridge. I ducked down to avoid being another victim. "What are you going to do now, wizard?"

A loud scream echoed through the cave and when I looked up, I saw the Goblin King reel back and grab at his neck. His grotesque body fell forward and the Company moved back to keep from getting crushed. The bridge gave a loud creak at the sudden weight and after just a moment, it lurched forward.

I screamed and grabbed onto Cody's arm, but as soon as the bridge moved forward we were dropping and he was torn away from my grasp.

I was tossed around and if I learned anything from that first fall under this terrible mountain, it was to protect my head. I wrapped my arms over my head and pulled my knees up, unable to do anything else but endure it. If I grabbed something it was ripped away seconds later, leaving me feeling more and more helpless, like a rag-doll being tossed around in a dryer.

Screams were cut short by bodies crashing together and yells were barely audible over the sound of the wooden bridge scraping and sliding on stone. Something crashed into my side and for just a moment I was on my knees until that, too, was torn away.

It stopped so suddenly and with a quick lurch that I was sure I had passed out. Or died. Or passed out and then died. All of the noise fell away so fast it left my ears ringing.

There was a pause, maybe just long enough to catch my breath and realize that I was, in fact, alive.

I was half buried under wooden debris but the fall hadn't snapped my spine or torn my head off. Not for the first time since being woken up by the cave floor collapsing – or since coming to Middle Earth, for that matter – I was surprised by this. I wasn't crushed to death. I wasn't eaten by disgusting creatures, smaller than orcs but no less horrifying. And I was still breathing. Bruised and beaten quite a bit but I was _breathing._

Someone yelled but it was cut short when something _fucking heavy_ came crashing down on us. A large wood plank that was laying across my chest was pressed down until I was positive my ribs would start breaking and my chest would be crushed.

Could bones creak? Cause I was pretty sure that's what my chest was doing and it sounded like nails on a chalk board and made my ears ache.

I tried wiggling my arms, twisting my body, anything to get out from under that plank of wood but nothing around me was budging. I could move my left leg quite a bit but there was nothing a single leg could do.

"Hang on just a moment," someone said, and I was too occupied with gasping in small breaths of air to figure out who it was or tell them to hurry. I couldn't take deep breaths which sucked _ass_ because that's exactly what my panicked brain was telling me to do right now.

 _Panic. Continue to panic, Holly-kins, cause you can't do much else at the moment_ _and you might actually die this time and ribs should not be making that sound_ _!_ That terrified voice in my head took on the vox of Cody, which was also ringing around my head at that exact moment.

"We're getting you out, hang on." Now _that_ was Cody, all scared and scatter-brained. "We need to move that one, Dori. Can you push it up at all, Holly?"

"What do you think?" I wheezed, not sure if he could even understand that rush of breath.

"I'd take that as a no," Cody said, now on my other side and grunting as he struggled to move things around.

"That worked," I said, astonished when a little bit of the weight was raised from my chest. It wasn't enough to let me wiggle out but I could take a deep breath that made my chest ache even more. "Push harder."

"I can't. Dwalin! Can you lift this?" I could hear heavy footsteps and wood creaking and breaking under the larger dwarf's weight and finally the board across my chest was lifted. Hands grabbed my shoulders and hauled me out from under the pile of wood, knees getting scraped in the process and chest aching terribly but I was not in a position to complain.

"Better?" Cody asked, lifted me from the pile of wood and setting me on my feet.

"Much, thank you," I said, my voice still shaky and each breath a wheeze that left me breathless.

"Move, move!"

"Thorin!"

"There coming!"

"Go! Run, Ori!"

The Company screamed and now that everyone was out from under that pile of debris they thundered away, into the black. I followed, chest aching and knees burning and mind whirling because this whole thing was _still not over._

I could hear them now that my heart wasn't pounding in my ears, their horrible voices screaming and screeching. My feet slid on the stone ground but even that wasn't enough to slow me down with the goblins behind me. I didn't have to look back to know that they were far too close behind us for comfort. I ran as fast as I could, keeping my eyes locked on Cody's back. At some point someone was behind me, a friendly voice out of breath and urging me forward faster but I was already going as fast as possible, sure that my chest would explode at any moment.

The Company came to a stop so suddenly that I crashed into someone's back, gasping and wheezing and wondering why the _fucking hell_ we were stopping now.

"Climb! Get over this boulder!" I caught a glimpse of Cody being lifted up and over a large boulder high over his head. "Come on, Lass, you're next."

Bofur tried to give me a comforting smile but we had no time for any of that. There was no time for reassuring and comforting and all of that nonsense. His hands were under my arms one second and I was in the air the next, struggling to keep up as hands pulled me up and onto a boulder and I was passed down the other side, barely able to help as they moved so much faster than I could.

"This way, go!" I followed the dwarves ahead of me as they raced ahead, barely enough light to see by but I could see their backs and that was enough. The rocks under my feet were smoother here and I could run unobstructed, though not much faster.

"I see a light!"

"We're almost out!"

"Hurry!"

If my chest wasn't aching and I could function on a slightly higher level I would have smiled or cheered in relief with the rest of the Company. I took a deeper breath, trying to rid that constant panic that plagued me and smiled when daylight – _real_ daylight – hit my face.

Soon it was all around me. There was _grass_ under my feet and sun on my face and the very air felt so fresh it burned my nose and throat.

"Keep going! Don't slow down, Ori!" Dori screamed from behind me and even though we were out of the mountain we were still running...which was perfectly fine by me. Whatever distance we could put between us and those goblins was not nearly enough for my comfort. As we ran down the mountainside, the trees grew taller and the grass grew longer and when we finally came sliding to a halt – a collective group of gasping and wheezing dwarves and hobbits – I looked at more than just the ground in front of my feet. I leaned forward, hands on my knees as I tried to take slow, shallow breaths so that my chest wouldn't ache quite so much.

We were in a forest, the air still cold and the ground wet under my feet but we were on slightly flatter ground.

"Where's Bilbo?" someone asked, and I looked around the group.

The Company was definitely a few people short, I thought and with a jolt took a closer look at who was around me. There was no short dark hair. No cocky-ass smile and quick-witted remark sent my way.

"Where's Cody?"

"We're missing half the Company," Ori said, wide eyes scanning the group.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like my own little twist? I find it so boring when stories on this site go through the Goblin tunnels bit by bit without deviating from what happened in the book/movie. That's what makes this stuff fun! I did keep to Bofur's script in the extended version, as I absolutely love how he does it!
> 
> If anyone's curious, I listened to Breath of Life by Florence and the Machine and Crave You by Flight Facilities (the Adventure Club remix) on repeat while writing this. :) It definitely had the right feel to it and I hope it helped my writing, and perhaps you'd like to play it and see if you get some inspiration from it!


	18. Bye Bye, Head. It Was Nice Knowing You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is officially done being transferred from ff.net! I was up to chapter 18 but now you all have to wait longer for updates. Sorry! I hope you still enjoy. :)

I lost him.

Cody came with me to Middle Earth and I _lost_ him in a cave filled with goblins. Terrible, horrifying little murderous creatures that would probably drink his blood like vampires if they got the chance.

"They couldn't have been far behind," Bofur says. "I helped every last dwarf over that boulder and it was close to the opening of the tunnel."

"What about Bilbo?" Ori asked, his voice morose when Bofur shrugged.

"I don't remember him being there."

Nobody said anything for a long while. I caught my breath and stood up straight, cracking my neck and prodding at the line across my chest where that plank of wood had nearly crushed me. The skin was raised and a sharp pain shot through my shoulder when I poked it, making my fingers tingle as I hit a nerve.

 _Yay,_ more _injuries._

"Holly needs to go and gather the rest of them," Thorin said, but he was facing away from me and it took a moment for me to realize that _I_ was the one he was talking about. Gandalf let out a long sigh and my anxiety was very briefly eased – maybe the wizard would talk some sense into him – but the old man merely leaned on his staff and watched Thorin with a wary gaze. He did very little. In fact, he did nothing and I felt like a fish out of water, gasping for something to say.

"Me?" My voice was more of a squeak even though I was able to take a full breath without wheezing now. It was shock and fear and guilt (because I _really_ didn't want to go back) that had my throat feeling tight. My head was still swimming in the aftermath of everything that had happened since leaving the safety of Rivendell and I had thought it was all over. I had let myself feel _relieved_ that it was all over. How foolish.

"Yes," Thorin said, turning fully to me. "Hobbits are far quieter than any dwarf could be. You need to go back and guide them here."

"I can come with you," Bofur said, appearing by my side and giving me a wide, crooked smile.

"No, no," I said quickly, remembering just how much noise the Company had made when they tried sneaking up on the trolls. It had been far too much noise for the forest, and in an area without that much cover – only thin trees and groups of taller grasses – even the sound of his heavy boots would be too much. I _had_ to do this alone. For my own safety and the safety of the Company. "No, Thorin's right. I can be much quieter by myself. I can do it."

Thorin nodded his head once and turned, walking to where Kili was leaning on a tree. I smiled at Bofur, trying hard to keep my mouth a firm line even as I turned back up the slope we had so gracefully smashed down.

I didn't know what I was expecting, but nobody said a thing as I left and wanted to turn and say something. _Anything_. Would goodbye even be enough or would that give away how powerless I felt when I was on my own? But I didn't say anything, and soon I was climbing the mountain again, focusing on the rhythm of my steps and listening for any sound around me.

Again, I was cast out to go and find something. Perhaps "cast out" was a little harsh but my mood was not about to lift when I was _sent_ out to a mountain infested with goblins and some orc called Azog was coming to take heads. I had to, I know. But knowing that wasn't going to be enough to make me do it with a skip in my step.

The boot marks were easy to see; even in the small patches of dirt the dwarves were heavy enough to leave such blatant tracks.

I wondered what it was that made me the ideal person for the job – or hobbits, for that matter. I didn't _feel_ quieter. What made us smaller people so adapted to sneaking around (or what made the dwarves think that)? I was no light-footed person back home, and I couldn't imagine that would change just because my feet grew twice their normal size. Wouldn't that make me more likely to stumble around and crush everything in my wake like the dwarves did?

I looked down at my feet and sighed. If they were the cause of my ability to run around quietly, I guess I would just have to learn to live with them. And if it meant I could find Cody and bring him – and the rest of the missing dwarves, of course – back to the Company, I just might like them.

I grumbled all the way back, in my head of course, I didn't dare make a sound in case this Azog orc was nearby. Or the goblins. If they were so keen on getting Thorin's head, what would they do to me if they found me here? I moved a little faster at the thought of my neck being torn from my shoulders by association.

_No thank you._

I kept my head down, my knees bent and tried to stay behind the tallest of the wet, brittle grass and behind the few trees that grew so far up in the mountain. Everything appeared starved; the grass looked to be nearly dead and the trees were few and far between, with leaves that matched the ground cover in it's sparseness. There weren't many trees thick enough to hide behind, and my heartbeat thundered in my ears as I raced between hiding places.

Far ahead I could see the opening of the cave that we had come racing out of but it was far higher than I had imagined it. A steep slope brought the mouth of the cave down from a high height; it looked like it would be a difficult climb just to reach it again. How had we come barreling out of there without tumbling out like a giant snowball?

It took longer getting close to the cave than it had getting away, part of it having to do with going uphill at such a slope and another probably with the sheer adrenaline and fear that had us racing away.

My pulse was pounding in my chest and I was sweating despite feeling clammy and cold. There was no way to lie about it, I was _terrified_ of that mountain and everything underneath it. Of those goblins. Of dying and not even finding out of Cody made it out alright. He had been just behind me when we went over the boulder...he couldn't have fallen behind that much. Were they lost? Cut off by goblins? Were they still in there running or fighting for their lives or did it end as quickly as we left them behind?

Dread filled me at the last thought, and I took a moment to hide behind a larger rock, pressing my back to the cold stone and closing my eyes.

_Had I really just left my friend to die?_

I took a deep breath and moved a little closer, keeping my back pressed firmly to the mountainside and listening for any screams. I kept my eyes glued on that cave mouth, trying to see into the darkness but where the dull sunlight wasn't shining, it was impossible to make anything out. So I kept my attention there, waiting for a footstep or voice, anything to give me a clue about what was waiting in there. What I did hear wasn't a scream, but it did make me jump like a goblin had just popped out at me.

"Holly? What the fuck are you doing?" Cody's voice hissed. I could barely hear it over the wind shuffling the grass around me.

"Cody?" I looked around wildly, but I couldn't see him. Was he still in the cave?

"Over here, idiot!" That was definitely Cody.

A hand rose from a particularly large spot of grass down the slope and waved, disappearing seconds later. I raced back down the hillside, feeling only a tiny bit more comfortable now that I wasn't _feet_ away from the mouth of that horrible tunnel. I slid into the grass and it was only someone's hand on my arm – the one that was still aching and bandaged – that kept me from falling on my ass.

"You're okay," I breathed out, smiling and throwing my arms around Cody's neck. "You're alive."

"Yeah, I'm alive. Are you alright?" He was warm, too warm when he hugged me back and I noticed how _cold_ I was by comparison.

"A little banged up, but I'm-"

"No, I mean are you okay? You're hugging me. Did you hit your head?"

"What are you talking about?" I was just about to ask _him_ the same question when I pulled away, drawing my arms back and fixing him the famous ' _what drugs are you on?'_ stare.

"You only hug me when you're drunk. Or you think you're dying." He choked a little on his laugh when he jumped out of my reach as I swung a fist at his shoulder. I wanted to laugh and cry and _punch his lights out_ for making me worry for so long.

"I thought you were dead!" I cried out, keeping my voice low and clenching my teeth when a particularly cold gust of wind shuffled the grass around my shoulders. Time with Cody had made me even more accustomed to what his ticks and glances meant; he was trying to be discrete in looking me over. He frowned, but I couldn't tell what he was upset at and I stifled another shiver.

"We thought you were all dead," Gloin said, resting the butt of his axe on the ground next to where Nori was sitting. "Where's the rest of the Company?"

"Further down the mountain. Is everyone else here?" I glanced around. Gloin, Nori, Oin, Bifur, Bombur...they were all here. All except one. "Where's Bilbo?"

"He's not with you?" Cody asked, eyebrows furrowed and one caked in blood.

I shook my head, busying myself with looking around the tall grass.

"He wasn't with us. Bombur?" Nori asked from the ground, twisting to give the larger dwarf a hopeful look. Bombur looked lost with wide eyes and white knuckles clinging to the black pot that had somehow been the only bit of luggage to survive the journey so far.

Maybe he passed out in the grass or behind a tree. Or he's just really good at hiding. But he wasn't in the tall grass and he wasn't with either half of the Company. I fumbled around the dew-covered grass for a moment until I was sure he wasn't there; the condensation seeped into my pants and relieved a bit of the burning on my knees but it did absolutely nothing for my mental state.

"We're missing our burglar," Oin said, leaning heavily on a weapon I vaguely remember seeing Bifur use.

"Maybe he's found the rest of the Company," Gloin said, grabbing Nori's shoulder and nudging him onto his feet. "We need to go meet them and get away from this cave mouth."

"Good plan," Cody said, pointing at Gloin with his fingers in the shape of guns and setting off out of the tall grass.

"Wait! You need to be quiet!" I hissed, racing after him as he thundered down the hillside. The rest of the dwarves were behind us, not nearly as quiet as I would have liked but we made good time slipping and sliding on the dew-covered ground.

It wasn't long before we raced right into the rest of the dwarves, skidding to a halt and Bifur tripping into his larger cousin.

"I knew you would find them," Gandalf said with a long breath and a wide smile. I bit back any remark that might find it's way to my mouth without consent; he had hardly looked thrilled by the idea of me leaving in the first place.

"We need to tend to some injuries," Oin said, grabbing a tiny box out of his pocket and I quickly remembered the ointment Lord Elrond had given me in Rivendell.

 _So much for keeping my wound clean_ , I thought, glancing at my jacket that was covered in dirt and splinters. I moved to grab the thin tin from my back pocket.

"No, we need to keep moving," Thorin said, stopping Oin in his tracks as he knelt beside Nori. "We don't know how far the goblins will track us after Gandalf rid them of their king-" Thorin sent the wizard a pointed look after that. "-and Azog won't be far behind us."

"But Bilbo's still not here," Ori said, his voice small and fragile compared to Thorin's.

"We move on without him."

"That's a death sentence!" Balin cried out, outraged and stepping up to Thorin with squared shoulders and a set jaw – a far braver act than I was capable of, though my hands balled into fists of their own accord. The older dwarf's voice softened but it was still firm and Thorin stared down at him with an unreadable expression. "You cannot leave him out here on his own. He would never leave any of us."

"What the hobbit would do is none of my concern. I have fourteen lives to account for and I will not sacrifice them all in an attempt to save one." Thorin turned from Balin and fixed the rest of us with a stare.

I forced my hands to relax and I looked down, avoiding his gaze when I knew it would pass over me and only daring to glance up when Cody let out a breath next to me. No one else dared to say anything against his next order.

"We continue down the mountain."

Our movements were just as fast as before – the threat of the goblins and orcs behind us drove us on – but for me it felt like my feet dragged as much as they could all on their own. Cody was safe...the friend from my world was safe but the friend that shared my discomfort and hairy feet was left behind. There was little doubt in my mind about Bilbo's fate if he were back in the tunnels. If he had escaped, however, he would have a chance as long as he kept running.

I had to hold onto that as we ran because the knowledge that I _was_ leaving someone behind to those terrible creatures made my chest hurt, and it had nothing to do with the plank that had nearly crushed me.

"Stop! Stop!" Someone screamed and everyone slid to a halt in the heavily wooded area. Tall trees made for perfect things to lean on and catch our breath, as well as hide such a large group. "Did you hear that?" It was Kili who stood near the center, all eyes on him as he turned this way and that, looking into the trees for something none of us could see. Had he really heard something?

Nori fell back onto his butt and his brothers fussed around him until he waved them off in irritation.

"I'm fine! I'm fine!" His attempts at pushing Dori and Ori away and convincing them that he was not injured were silenced.

"I heard it too!" Fili said, just barely a smile on his face as he turned and faced the mountain behind us. I turned, searching the trees and tufts of grass behind us and my hope shrank back to guilt when I saw nothing. "Bilbo?"

"I don't hear him," Ori said, turning from his search and frowning.

"He isn't here," Thorin said, his voice quieting all of the murmurs of the dwarves and their searching. "He's thought of nothing but his soft bed and his warm fireplace since he stepped out of his door. We will not be seeing that hobbit again."

"He could still be in the tunnels-" Balin tried but was cut off.

"He is long gone," Thorin finished.

"Poor Bilbo," Cody breathed quietly, leaning heavily on the tree behind him. I nodded but didn't voice my opinion. Something sank in my chest and guilt made me feel as bad as the monsters we had abandoned him to.

"I'm here!" I could just barely hear it; Bilbo's voice crying out and coming closer. "I'm here! I made it!" There was still no Bilbo but his voice, loud and exhausted, was coming from so close.

"Where are you?" Fili called out, voice hopeful and stepping back up towards the mountain, searching behind a few of the larger trees.

"I'm right here!" I jumped so high and squeaked when Bilbo appeared behind me, smiling and panting and using the tree beside Cody for support. "Over here!"

The Company let out a collective sigh and several of the dwarves gathered around Bilbo and clapped his shoulders, checked him for injuries, and asked him so many questions that it left him speechless. Where was he? When did he fall behind? How did he get out of the tunnel?

"I-I was just behind you lot," he said breathlessly, pointing over to me and Cody and Oin with a sheepish smile. "I followed you here."

"We didn't hear you, why didn't you yell for us?" Bombur said once everyone stepped back and gave Bilbo a little bit of breathing space. Thorin stepped up to Bilbo, over a head taller than the hobbit and frowning down at him.

"I tried. I guess you didn't hear me."

"I've never been so glad to see you in my life," Gandalf said, smiling widely. The tall wizard stepped past Thorin, wrapping an arm around the smaller man and shuffling his hair. I could just barely make out the annoyed look on Bilbo's face when Gandalf stepped back, but it was quickly replaced with uneasiness when he was left alone in front of Thorin again.

"We had almost given you up," Kili said, grinning as widely as everyone else in relief.

"How did you get past the goblins?" Fili asked, voicing the question that had gone unanswered since he came racing into the clearing.

No one else spoke, but the entire Company waited for Bilbo's reply.

"What does it matter?" Gandalf said with a chuckle. "He's back and safe."

For just a moment, Bilbo relaxed.

"It matters, I want to know," Thorin said, stepping closer to the hobbit. "Why did you come back?"

"L-look, I-" Bilbo stood and sputtered for a moment before collecting his thoughts. "Look," he said slowly, finally looking up and meeting Thorin's gaze. "I know you doubt me; you always have. And you're right, I often think of Bag End. I miss my books, and my garden, and my armchair..."

I felt a surge of envy towards Bilbo. He was far, far more courageous than I would ever have been; or could be. There was no doubt in my mind that everyone was a little homesick, but it never occurred to me that any of them could be as homesick as me and Cody were...being the farthest from home. But Bilbo _could_ have gone home and relaxed in his armchair and tended to his garden. He could have, but he chose to come back.

"See, that's where I belong, in the Shire. That's why I came back...because you don't have a home. None of you do. Your home was taken from you, but I will do whatever I can to help you take it back."

How many times had I thought of abandoning – not only the quest to reclaim the Lonely Mountain and the Company of dwarves – but my own home as well, just to feel safe and comfortable in the Shire or Rivendell? Far too often, I realized, listening to Bilbo. We were both hobbits (hairy feet, curly hair, and short stature in common) but in terms of courage and guts, Bilbo was leagues and miles ahead of me.

I glanced over at Cody, whose eyes were fixed on the hobbit. They dropped to the ground and for a moment he just stood and blinked at the ground. Was he thinking along the same lines as me? Or was he just touched by the pure selflessness of his acts?

A long, low howl ripped through the cold air, sending chills down my spine and this time I did shiver. All thoughts of envy and home and how selfish I had been since coming to Middle Earth left me feeling icy cold and empty.

"Wargs," Cody breathed, head up and alert as he pushed himself away from the tree trunk. "We need to _fucking_ run!"

"We move, now." Thorin said, slapping Bilbo on the shoulder once and leaving the shorter man bewildered before turning away.

"I agree," Gandalf said after a moment, addressing the group as a whole. "We need to move fast. Up, up." He helped Nori up and as soon as the entire group was on their feet, we were moving down the mountainside again...each hobbit and dwarf accounted for this time.

Dodging trees, leaping over logs and rocks...I felt a sense of deja vu but this was not like running down the mountain east of Bree. My legs weren't burning from exhaustion but my knees were starting to really kill me and everything was aching from the debacle of the falling bridge.

My chest, my arms, my _fucking_ knees hurt like nothing else, but there was no time to stop and care for the little aches and pains; both Gandalf and Thorin had been right about that. If everything ached now I wondered how painful it would be to die at the hands of those goblins or Azog.

"So, you're alive," Cody said, huffing and puffing as he slowed to run alongside me. Right now, only Bombur was behind us but that did make me feel a little better. I wasn't last this time.

"Yeah, so I am," I answered, controlling my breathing to try and keep my chest from aching as little as possible.

"I thought you were dead when I saw you under the wood," Cody said between breaths, his arms pumping away at his sides and sweat making the blood on his forehead run over his eye. It was quite a terrible sight when I caught a glimpse of him rubbing his eye and smearing the blood across the side of his face.

"What, no giggle? You said _wood_ ," I said, smiling as best as I could under the circumstances and dodging around a massive tree trunk. "You love saying wood."

"No, no giggle. I was scared," he huffed, our feet moving just a little faster when another howl broke through our words.

"Good, now you know how I felt," I paused for a deeper breath even though it burned. "I thought you were still in the caves."

"And you came back for me," he said, a smile finally lightening his features for a moment. I didn't have time to tell him that I had little choice, or that I really hadn't wanted to go back to the cave and search for him. The Company stopped and before I could catch my breath or swear, I realized _why_ the dwarves had all stopped.

The ground fell away and for miles and miles and miles I could see mountain ridges and rivers cutting through trees. On either side of us, the ground disappeared in a steep drop and the growls and howls and barks of the wargs were coming closer.

"There's no way down!" Ori said frantically, roughly pulled away from the edge of the cliff by Dwalin.

The wargs and orcs were behind us – _Azog_ was behind us – and we had just run out of places to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm also thinking of doing a gift-fic for someone on here or ff.net. Would anybody be interested in that? Message/comment to let me know!


	19. I'm A Flying Squirrel! A DEAD One!

I had seen orcs before. (Granted, I was terrified out of my wits and it was over the heads of the dwarves in front of me.) But _that thing_ was no orc. It was a good head or two taller than the monsters around him, long scars raking over his entire body and sharp teeth gleaming as he snarled.

_That_ thing _was no orc._

“Azog.” Thorin was a single step behind me and I just barely heard his voice over the growls and screams.

“Into the trees!” Gandalf yelled, grabbing the nearest dwarf and nearly tossing him up onto a lower branch.

I turned and ran (yes, maybe most of the screams were coming from me) and high-tailed it up the nearest tree. When did I even know how to climb a tree? That was a surprising skill.

_Nevermind that,_ I thought as a pair of teeth snapped at my  large  feet, just barely inches away from pulling me back down to the mess of  howling and snarling  wargs.  _Don't question your new powers, Holly, just fucking climb!_

It was Gloin that helped me further up the tree  and kept a tight grip on my arm when I nearly slipped right off . After my initial bought of awesome- tree- climbing-power, I was having a hard time getting higher up. The branches swayed as the wargs threw themselves against  the base of the tree , my hands were shaking and it was harder to swing myself up to a higher branch until Gloin basically  _tossed_ me up  to one of the highest ones .

Up here, there was no way the wargs could get me, so I did relax a bit (and felt selfish about my moment of peace when the others on the lower branches let out terrified screams. It took several dwarves to pull Bombur up several branches in a nearby tree, but after him every member of the Company was in the treetops, scattered throughout a few of the larger ones in the clearing.

Teeth breaking branches sounded _so_ much like snapping bones. The wargs leaped up as high as they could to grab at the feet that hung down, which was far higher than I, and everyone else, had expected. The Company that was on the lower branches screamed and scrambled (or in Ori's case, were lifted by his brothers) up higher as the lower branches were torn clean off the tree.

I looked around wildly when our tree gave a lurch. Cody was not too far off, standing beside Bilbo and using his free hand to keep the hobbit from tumbling into the mess of monsters below.

“They're pushing the tree over!” Dwalin yelled from a branch above me.

All those little shakes of the tree grew until I had to throw my arms around the trunk to keep my feet from slipping. Wind blew past my ears and something yanked my jacket, grabbing handfuls of hair and tearing me away from the tree.

I tried to tug myself away but whatever had a grip on me – in my crazed and blinded thinking, I had assumed an orc had gotten into the tree – but I was in the air, sailing between trees with eyes watering.

I think I would have fallen straight through the branches and down to the ground if someone hadn't grabbed me and held me up.

“I just flew. I think I just flew!” I yelled, hand moving over the back of my head where a good chunk of hair had been yanked right out. The touch made me flinch, but whoever it was that threw me into another tree by my jacket and hair would be thanked profusely; I never would have made that jump alone.

The laugh belonged to Cody, easily identifiable, though clearly distressed.

“You're a regular ole flying squirrel,” he muttered, letting go of my arm when more dwarves came leaping into the tree just above us.

There was a low creak that I could barely hear over the noises of the wargs and orcs below us, but it grew until a loud _snap_ echoed through the air. I turned just in time to see the tree we _had_ been in come falling down. No dwarves were in it, I realized with a sigh of relief but that didn't last long because the tree was falling towards _us_.

“Alright, squirrely,” Cody said, eyes wide and taking a deep breath. “Think you can fly one more time?”

Sometimes being small can be good. Clearly I could sneak around and go unnoticed, but I could also be picked up and thrown through the air like a _fucking football._ The first time was fine because there was no way I would have made it to the tree by myself, but this was different. The tree beside us was _right beside_ us. I went careening through the air and was caught in the tree by several pairs of hands. I half expected someone to yell 'touchdown!' but there were only yells and screams as the entire Company piled into one large tree, scrambling up higher to get away from the snapping jaws below us.

“Made it,” Cody wheezed, smiling triumphantly and holding the branch above him for support, seeing as I was hogging the tree trunk all to myself – once I finally got most of the steadying hands off of my shoulders and arms. “I've got good aim, huh?”

“Next time give me some sort of warning, you little shit!” I said, finally catching my breath from being terrified out of my wits for a _second_ time.

“Fuck!” Cody yelled when our tree gave the tiniest of lurches. I had loosened my grip on the trunk and immediately went back into bear-hug mode, blowing hair out of my eyes and glancing down. I didn't _want_ to look at those freakish things down there, circling the tree like a pack of sharks, but knowing that none of them were able to scale the tree did make me feel just a teensy bit better.

“Where do we jump now?” I asked, looking around frantically. The nearest tree was too far...even if I was thrown, I don't think I would make it.

“Uh, um....” Cody looked around, shifting on our tree branch and looking as lost as I felt.

The tree pitched back and a ball of orange flew down from the tree tops. A whoop came from above, followed by laughter.

_Laughter._

Who the  _fuck_ thought this was a  _funny_ situation? I looked up, ready to go full-on bitch-mode at whoever decided that laughing at our deaths was appropriate and screeched. I pitched back,  almost falling off the back of my branch when something on  _fire_ whizzed past my face, nearly taking my nose off with it as it  plummeted to the orcs and wargs below.

It was pine cones, I noticed when I looked up and saw a few members of the Company juggling  little balls of flames. A few more went flying out of the tree and the angry growls and howls from below turned into yelps.

One of them actually caught fire.

One of those  _fucking monsters_ caught fire and raced into the bushes, and I couldn't help the hysterical laugh that escaped when more of them ran off with flaming pelts.  Yelps and cries of pain and terror would normally give me nightmares but when it's the things that are on fire that would give me nightmares, it felt sweetly justified.  It felt  _good_ watching those things run off in pain.  Those creatures would get what was coming to them, even if it was from a group of dwarves and hobbits and a wizard that had just been treed.

T he tree pitched back and all of the cheers and whoops and hollers for them to 'keep running' stopped immediately.

“Where do we jump, Gandalf?”

“There still a few of them down there!” I recognized Ori's voice on the other side of the tree trunk and his hands nearly slapped my face, wrapping around the trunk in a similar way as I had.

“We can fight the rest of them!”

“What do we do, wizard?”

Despite all the questions, I didn't once hear Gandalf reply. I could see his larger form higher up in the tree, but he remained motionless and gave us no direction. When the tree tipped a little further, and we could see over the edge of the cliff when we looked down, the desperate cries and yells grew louder and aimed at Thorin.

Like that silent wizard, Thorin said nothing and I screamed, drowning out the other voices, when the tree finally fell. I was sure we were over the edge by now, but the tree stopped quickly, nearly ripping me off it's trunk and my feet were suddenly off the branch, dangling over the impossibly far drop.

There was some sort of low growl, and snarled words that I couldn't make out over the screams. My heart skipped a beat when Ori's arms disappeared from around the tree and his brother's screamed. I didn't want to chance a glance down to watch his body fall, so I shut my eyes tightly and just hung on as best as I could.

I remember swinging on the monkey bars as a kid and pretending that I was some sort of super hero, careening over a chasm of death and laughing if I accidentally fell to the gravel below. I remember wanting to find higher monkey bars to test my abilities.

God, I was a stupid kid.

Who the fuck thinks that dangling over their  _death_ is a  _game_ ?

There were screams, yells, people calling to their cousins and brothers and the screams only grew louder when the fires that had been spread by the wargs, spread to our tree. I could see the flames out of the corner of my eye, licking at the bark and wasting no time in engulfing the base of the tree, blocking any chance of exit...even if someone thought they could make it through the mass of wargs and orcs that remained.

I don't know how much time passed as I thought about dying, falling, monkey bars and fires. There were screeches far sharper than anything I had heard before and I would have covered my ears if I had a free hand to do so. The wind picked up and I felt it force my feet to sway, pulling me away from the tree even though I was holding on with everything I had.

I heard him fall before I saw it.

Cody screamed and the branch he was holding onto broke.

I reached out, not even thinking clearly and barely able to see through the fear and tears. He was far gone and his screams had already stopped when my other hand slipped.

This was far worse than skipping a step on the stairs. My breathing stopped and I couldn't even scream. Wind flew past me and my hair whipped in front of my eyes.

I was falling. I was _dying._

And then it all stopped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Has anyone tried writing a story while having severe anxiety issues and stress dreams about Dumbledore trying to kill them on the set of a movie but it turns out he's actually trying to kill you? Which is why this is so massive later than my usual update. I'm better now, but it's always difficult jumping back into a story after a mini-hiatus. Working through it with some good soundtracks to keep me in the writing mood!
> 
> If anyone's interesting in keeping up on what's going on with this story (usually involving quotes, musical inspiration, and other silly nonsense), check out my tumblr account, under the same user name.


	20. Sky-Death-Beasts

I had flown before. We went to Disney Land once when I was little and I remember being absolutely horrified during the whole ordeal and no amount of Ginger Ale and delicious airplane peanuts could comfort me or shut me up. My dad ended up renting a car and driving me across three states because I threw such a fit when it was time to go home (though he preferred the term “panic and near-asthma attack”). So I painfully remembered what flying felt like when deja vu hit me.

Except this is Middle Earth, and there are no planes. In a bizarre moment of insanity, I thought about how easy it would be to get around and find someone who could help us get home if we could just fly. If that were the case, I might consider giving voluntary flight another chance. First I'd have to learn how to build a plane...get the blue prints...find some metal.... I clearly was a little loopy when that thought hit me, so no...there are no planes and would never be unless someone from Boeing happened to land in Middle Earth and didn't die on impact.

So how am I flying, you ask?

Oh, just on a _fucking eagle._

I didn't know when I woke up or if I was even really out in the first place. I remembered large feathers under my fingers and wind rushing past my ears. I kept thinking about home; there were odd little memories and hopes and dreams that I had nearly forgotten about, but missed dearly. I remembered screaming (a lot), and my throat was sore by the time I caught my breath and realized that I wasn't alone on this massive sky-death-beast.

I thought it was Bofur (or maybe Nori) behind me, but like hell I was gonna twist around and chance another fall to find out.

“Having fun?” Cody's voice carried over the wind, and I just barely caught it and peaked over to my right. Over the feathers buffeted by the wind, I could see Bombur was riding on his very own sky-death-beast, but in the _claws,_ Cody waved enthusiastically over at me. “Isn't this awesome!?”

I didn't open my mouth because I doubted this thing wanted puke all over its back and frankly, I was done with feeling sick and tired. I shut my eyes and squeezed them as tightly as I could, gripping handfuls of feathers just as tightly. There was some sort of retort on the tip of my tongue, I just knew it, but no matter how clever it was I valued keeping the lack of food down in my stomach and continued to take slow, deep breaths...like whoever-was-behind-me kept saying.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

If I kept my eyes closed and pretended like the little ups and downs were a pony beneath me – because they definitely weren't an eagle flapping its wings – I could almost calm down. _Almost._

How Cody was whopping and hollering and laughing was beyond me, and he wasn't even _on_ that fucking thing, he was _under_ it. I could hear the voices of the others too, screaming for each other and assessing everyone’s health. There were a few names called out a little too often; everyone seemed very worried about Thorin, but his voice never carried over to me.

_No offense, Thor-bear, I'm not opening my eyes to see if you're alive._

Okay, so I'm not the most cuddly  and caring  person while I feel like I'm dying.  B ut really, who is?  Not throwing up. Not passing out. Not falling (again). Not dying (again?). These were the things on my mind at the moment.

“I think we're landing now.” The dwarf behind me had to scream and I could still barely make it out. I did hear 'landing' loud and clear and gripped the feathers a little tighter.

I have this image in my head of what 'landing' is, and it's very similar to how a plane would land. This _fucking turkey_ doesn't have that same picture in mind, apparently. We went from gliding to a nosedive _,_ and by the screams of absolute terror (well, the ones that didn't belong to me), I knew I wasn't the only one caught off guard by the style of the sky-death-beasts.

It stopped and I rolled/scrambled/fell flat on my face onto hard rock and while it hurt like a motherfucker, the stone didn't move and I was eternally grateful for that.

“That was amazing! Holy fucking hell! Holly! How awesome was that?” Cody's voice called out frantically, growing closer and his breathing rapid between words. His shoes stumbled right before my face and his voice quieted down just a bit. “You okay?”

I rolled onto my back, still grateful that I wasn't on anything that was moving, and leveled Cody with a glare to rival that of my mothers.

He's got a few scratches and a bruise on his chin but he was smiling. He was _smiling_ , and it's difficult to describe why I felt like punching him until he's in as much discomfort and pain as I am. I nearly died - _we all nearly died –_ and he's got a shit-eating grin on his face like “let's get back in line for another go!“

“I'm gonna go over here,” he said in a rush and was gone a second later, and I was left to take slow, deep breaths and hope that those clouds in the sky wouldn't make matters worse and dump on us.

I could hear the dwarves a little ways away – and a deep grumble that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on ends – but I couldn't pick up what they were saying or wanted to move to join them. I was sure that the deep, odd and guttural noises that drifted over were from one of those sky-death-beasts, and I was honest-to-God _done_ with them, so I shut my eyes and tried to ignore the sounds. A shadow fell across my face and someone blocked the sky.

“Are you injured?”

“I think I want to sleep for the next ten years,” I mumbled, grabbing the hand that was offered to me and groaning when he pulled me to my feet. Everything was achy and my throat was sore and I could go on and on about a list of complaints but Bilbo was standing there just staring at me so I mustered up a smile.

His frown deepened and apparently my attempt was pathetic.

“Everything kinda hurts,” I shrugged and his frown softened just a little bit. Lines still spread across his face, pulling at the corners of his mouth and showing just how tired he actually was.

“Hopefully we'll rest a bit and find some food before climbing down,” he said, not giving me much time to ask about the whole climbing thing before his large feet were patting against the stone floor and he was off again, moving over to another dwarf that was as grateful for the solid ground as I was.

“Climb down to where?” I asked no one in particular, rubbing the dirt and sweat away from my eyes – I couldn't remember when they had started to burn – and sitting with my back against the rock wall.

When I opened them and looked around – _actually_ looked around – I don't think I did anything but gape for a good long while.

We were on some sort of cliff, far larger than anything we had encountered in the Misty Mountains and over the edge, I could see a vast forest, absolutely massive and crawling towards the horizon. I could just barely make something out along the skyline, and it took me a good minute to realize that the only mountain in the entire plain was probably _the_ mountain. The one we were traveling to. The one with the dragon.

If I was feeling tired and useless before, it was tenfold now and weighing on my shoulders until I just wanted to throw my hands up and cry. Just shut down and sleep.

We weren't even _fucking close_ to the mountain!

“Hey, we've got a bit of food over here that'll be ready in a half-hour or so.” Cody's voice was low and cautious and while it initially pissed me off to no end, I knew why he was approaching me like a feral badger ready to snap his body clean in two. I did sort of give him the Morgan-Glare-Of-Death passed down through the women in my family, and it wasn't a weapon to be used carelessly.

“Thanks,” I said, but it was more of a whisper because I was still staring at that mountain and dumbstruck by the distance between it and us.

We had to get off this cliff and go through that _immense_ forest; I didn't even want to think about what freaky creepy crawlies were hiding in there. (It was probably worse than spiders.) It was hopeless, it would take forever, but we didn't exactly have a choice. I couldn't just turn around now...not with no home to go to and knowing that these guys would all continue on with or without me. Cody was far too invested in this quest to leave it now, and if I was completely honest, the company was really starting to grow on me. Losing several brothers had left a void that was becoming just a little less painful with the dwarves around.

“The eagles got us a few rabbits, I know they're your favorite,” he said with a chuckle and sat beside me by the wall, nudging my arm when I didn't respond. “Bombur and Oin are making a fire right now, shouldn't be too long.”

“It's over there,” I said, still feeling like I wasn't completely in control of my exhausted limbs when I pointed to the horizon.

He turned and let his head fall back against the wall.

“We've still got a ways to go,” he muttered, sounding more sober and serious than I had heard in a long time.

There was a faint clicking sound and I glanced over to him. The muscle in his jaw was twitching to match the clicking and a bizarre half-laugh half-cough thing escaped me. My face burned a bit with embarrassment at the noise but he didn't turn to look at me, his eyes half-opened and glazed over while he stared at the Lonely Mountain.

“You still do that thing,” I said, letting my head fall back against the wall but this time I wasn't ready to melt into the wall and just disappear. I was feeling just a tiny bit better – no less tired or hungry or helpless – but a little bit better.

“What thing?” he asked and the clicking immediately stopped.

“You used to tap your tongue stud against your teeth when you were anxious. I just haven't heard it in a while.”

“No _'ewwww, tongue piercing'_?” His voice flew up a few octaves to imitate me, his eyes clearing up a bit when the corners of his mouth twitched up.

“It's still gross,” I said quickly and his smile widened. “I didn't know you still did it.”

“I didn't either,” he muttered and the gentle clicking started again for just a moment. “Makes me feel better, though.”

I hummed with no particular response and just watched as the sun slowly crept down to the horizon, a ball of light hidden behind the dark clouds.

“Rabbit's ready in five minute,” Bofur called out, walking along the cliff to the few who hadn't already gathered around the fire in anticipation.

Dwalin was not far off, pushing Nori's hands away and grumbling. I smiled and Cody snorted, his eyes flickering away from the two when Dwalin stomped past us.

“So the mighty warrior doesn't like flying,” he whispered once the largest of the dwarves was out of hearing-range.

“Maybe that can be something the young grasshopper teaches to the sensei?” I asked and got a laugh and an elbow to the ribs which hurt quite a bit more than I would let on.

“As weird as ever, Hollykinsies,” he said, grabbing my wrist and hauling me up to my feet. I was a bit more tired than I had realized and nearly collapsed right back against the wall with the unexpected weight on my legs but he held me steady.

“I try.” I shrugged and followed him to the fire where the rabbit smelled like a godsend (I wouldn't admit that to anyone in the world).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: The big 2-0! Exciting!! Am I the only one jumping up and down for this milestone? Yes? Oh, alright. Thanks to everyone who's been following/favoriting/reviewing this story! :)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the wonderful people who have helped me go over this time and time again to make it right. :) (Rae01 and Lasgalendil on ff.net).  
> All forms of feedback are welcomed and very much appreciated!


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